Advance Planning with Daphne Davis, Part 2

*The following is the output of transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors.

The following podcast is provided by pinnacles senior placements LLC and answers for elders radio. And Welcome back to answers for elders radio. We are back here with Daphne Davis from Pinnacle Senior placements and thank you for staying on with us for another segment. Not a problem at all. You know, Daphne, this is an important topic when we talk about advance planning, and that’s why I really wanted we kind of covered the basic things of the individual home, but your services are so pivotal and how to move forward. So tell us a little bit about you. Know, somebody calls you in there really early and they’re planning what happens. So if if you’re in a situation where no one needs to make an urgent move, we don’t even need in home care, but you’re like, you know, are we thinking on the right tracks? What will happen is that you’ll give me a call, myself or one of our advisors that works at Pinnacle senior placements will come out to your home and we will just have a conversation of getting to know you. Is really what it’s all about, because this process is unique for every person. There is no cookie cutter answers for every single person. There are some clues, but certainly everything is unique, and so we’ll have a conversation about what are your likes and dislikes during a course of a day. You know, not the broad brush, but let’s talk about the day. Let’s figure out what is it that you do. I mean, as we’re talking about adaptive living, it might be something that says, you know, I really like to walk around the loop in my house. We’re coming into the fall and whatnot and I don’t really want to go out in the rain, but I have a nice loop to walk in my house and we might say, you know what, in that loop I’m seeing this coffee table. That’s you probably have to take a set sideways, and then the heart of the fireplaces right there. And you know, have those ever been things that you kind of bumped into? Oh Yeah, let me show you this bruise on my kneecap, you know, and so those are the things that we can kind of watch for physically, but we also talk about things of if you did have to make a move and, you know, having forbid, something happened today when I leave, what would be the things most important to you in your community of care and living? What things are nonnegotiable for you? What things are a wish list? What things do you feel are paramount for your family? You know, because it is. It’s not just about one person, it is about the unit, absolutely, and so we have that conversation and sometimes during that conversation we’ve discovered well, mom, I didn’t know that, or really, you have that? That thing on your bucket list still. You really want to make a quilt? I didn’t know you wanted to do that. Oh, yeah, it’s been on my bucket list forever, you know. Yeah, those are the things that we find out. We also then get into perhaps some financial conversations. Good boy, what what big question? For so many of it is and sometimes it is an elephant in the room for families, and so we tread lightly and I ask permission, you know, if we don’t want to talk about this now, that’s totally fine. This is your meeting, not mine. And so we have conversation about finances in terms of what is available from an estate. Have you made plans with Long Term Care Insurance? Are you or your spouse of veteran? Do we need to be thinking about tapping into state programs for financial assistance. All of those things are really important to talk about in terms of making next steps. Well, and I think what you’re touching on is a financial piece. Oftentimes Marma Dad don’t want to talk about financials with their children. Yeah, they do not. They’re very private, but they will talk to somebody like you that’s a professional, because there’s not a connection there, there’s not an attachment. It’s in and you know, it’s a safer environment. Right. So I think in many cases, in you know, like in your situation, mom or Dad will often times tell you things about their desires and things that they want that they’re not going to tell you as the son or daughter. Right. Some of that is driven by a privacy piece and some of it’s driven because I’ve never talked about this with my child. I still am the dad after all, yes, and I have that that generation. It is, you know, who knows what our generation will be like, but but this one currently, I mean there is a hierarchy in our families as there is not a judgment call, just is. So in in having conversations with families, that something that we really need to be respectful for or and of and I think when you have embarked and sought out someone’s services that truly does know what they’re doing, this journey can be a lot less painful. It can, you can frequently. I could tell you stories about, Gosh, I didn’t know that, about my mom and dad. I’m so glad that you were able to meet with them. We can so do that. I wish I would have known that sooner. You know things like that. So it’s it is prudent to be proactive, allow for conversations and again I go back to, and this you’ve heard me say before, have these conversations when you, the elder, can still be a part of the the decision making are so important. You know, important and and I’m not just talking about, you know, cognitive issues. That’s that’s not the only issue. Sometimes it can be something as trite as just being completely overwhelmed because of stuff, or it can be something that is generated by some pain or you have a hidden secret about our health issue. They think that they need to do something to be strong for their children or their expectations of their they think that their children have certain expectations that may or may not be there. That’s exactly right. That happens all the time. I call that that miscommunication. We’re just not talking on the same level and the family wants to, but it takes that third party to kind of open up these doors that are unknown. I’ve a friend that says, well, you know, I want to save my money for my kids, so I’m going to sacrifice my quality of life, and it’s like hello, yeah, yeah, our generation things like that. But they’re from a generation that says, you know what, we needed that little inheritance from my parents to buy the house, yeah, or, you know, to get started in a business, and things are very different now. We need to be respectful of those feelings and desires but also gently do an education process of what does that mean in terms of your life right and do we need to take chances? Do we need to push the envelope or can we get support for you that you can have a quality, dignified, joyous life without worriedly? Absolutely, it’s so important. And you know we are a talking again to Daphne Davis from pinnacles senior placements. And Daphne, what areas do you serve? So in King, I know King County is kind of your heart beat. Yeah, it’s my heartbeat. We are have services everywhere from Thurston up to snow homeish and scatchet county. So it’s all along this western Washington area in the metropolitan area that we service. I certainly have areas that I feel more confident in than others, but the biggest thing is reach out called Pinnacle say this is my situation and if I can’t help you, I will get you in touch with somebody. Been doing this for twenty years and I know a lot of people. You know and you do it so well and and I you know, one of the things that I am touched by is the people that you have helped are also thrilled to have had you and, like you know, people will say why didn’t we know about you sooner? And you know, families today are in crisis because they don’t know what to do. They really don’t most in most cases, sadly, they don’t plan for the future. And you know it’s especially if Marm or dad has been the matriarch of the family, our patriarch. There’s that element of it’s the balance. The foundation gets stirred up, hit done and families and so you know, to have you come in and be that calming influence at everybody can support. You’re there for the the adult children as much as you are, for sure, you know, for the parent. Yes, so what happens? We went on. So what happens in a visit? So I’m we’re having this conversation and I’m taking down notes voraciously of those value systems and we’re trying to figure out how what are the highest values? Many Times people don’t even think about that. It can be something as simple as do you want to be able to have outside areas to go to? Some people say, I just don’t enjoy going outside at also not a big deal it. I could care less. I love my book and my Cozy Fire and blanket. I’m happy, or could say I I love to cook and I get, you know, baking going on with my grandkids and my husband plays with them outside or whatever it is. But we really give thought to what is it that that drives you, that gives you joy, and we also talk about what things kind of give you angst, what things push your buttons, and sometimes that’s a little uncomfortable to admit, but it’s a safe place we can have conversations that are Brune really there’s no reason to hide true feelings when it’s about your life and you have to choose to put people around you that you can trust. So important. Hopefully everyone gets to stay as independent and capable to their last breath as possible, and that’s what everybody wants and that’s what I want. And you know, the thing that is really important for our listeners to know is is that bring me somebody in like Daphne? Does it mean that any decisions are made? Maybe one or two visits. It’s a process. This is a process and the first step, really the first stage, is finding out what you want, who’s you know, what is most important to you. It’s like, you know, we talked in an earlier segment about how you accumulate things through your life and somebody told me once, which is, I think, kind of an interesting way to kind of end this segment, is, you know, you spend your first thirty of years of your life figuring out what what’s important to you, the next forty years of your life acquiring what’s important to you and then the last segment of your life getting rid of so much stuff that you thought was important. But there are the the shining stars in your life that actually are most important. In somebody like Daphne, you can come in and actually help them determine what those shining stars really are. That’s exactly right. Along that same time, when you call me to come in, we’re going to talk about options to and what I’ve discovered is that a lot of families have no idea what all the options are, I’m sure. And what does our language mean? What’s the jargon? How does assist in living mean? What does memory care me? What’s an adult family home? What’s in home? Are Daunting how it is, and so we talked a lot about definitions, and this is what’s meant when you hear this this phrase. Yeah, so it’s not only me gathering information, but it’s me sharing information with you that’s pertinent to your situation. Well, I am so glad you’re hair to share with everyone. So tell us how we reach you. Well, easiest ways to call pinnacle senior placements at eight hundred and fifty five, seven, thirty four, one thousand five hundred, and the second way that you can reach us is through our website, and that’s our company name, pinnacles senior placements. That’s comments right. If the I and a cel e. that’s correct, and an s at the end pinnacle senior placements. I love that. Well, Daphitely, thank you so much for being on the show. We always love having you and look forward to having you on next month as well. Sounds good. Thank you. The preceding podcast was provided by pinnacles senior placements LLC and answers for elders radio. To contact pinnacles senior placements, go to Pinnacle Senior Placementscom.