Connecting With Senior Loved Ones During COVID, with Daphne Davis

*The following is the output of transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors.

The following program is sponsored by Pinnacles senior placement. My wife and I just came from the hospital. I’m so exhausted. Last night my mom fell and broke her hip and they say she’s going to need something called a Rehab Center, and then we have to figure out if she can return home or not. What if she has to move? She’s on a fixed income. How do we afford it? I really don’t know what steps to take, where to turn or what to do next. I’m just so overwhelmed with everything that’s happening. Welcome to the answers for elders radio show. meet the trusted experts who will give you straight answers and will help guide you on the path of later life care. Now here’s your host, founder, caregiver and CEO, Susan Newman, and welcome everyone to answer for elders radio. And we are here with one of our very favorite guests, Daphne Davis from pinnacles senior placement. Daphne, I always look forward to our time together every month. And Daphne, what what do we have going on these days? Oh my goodness, life is feeling a little bit normal, but still a little stressful. Our seniors are getting care, our seniors are having hausing or our seniors are allowed to have some visits. Very soon our state is opened up a little bit. So check we communities of care, if you already have loved ones in a community of care of if they’ve changed some of their protocols, are allowing any visits in a different way. They’re taken baby steps forward. So that is a good thing. It’s a very good thing and I’ve I have been in add to see how many of our communities are really getting creative. You know, we’ve talked about that before, about how our loved ones are, you know, being served. But I keep going back to the thing is we’re so lucky to have the kind of commitment from people out there like you that are out there helping our families and really doing it on in really difficult times and certainly I would love to talk today with you a little bit about how are those things happening and what are we doing? Is a community and obviously we’ve got a lot of families that are so confused about what to do and where to turn and how, you know, to get proper help. So, you know, I’m glad you’re here and glad you’re here to talk about that. Yeah, so I want to give some examples of how I’ve seen things start to change around. And there’s some communities out on the kid set peninsula that have actually created booths of plexiglass covered, protected from the wind, nice and clean, clear Flexiglass, that you actually can have conversations and just be a few feet away. Yes, you’re not breathing the same air for you know safety. Yes, you’re not uppy your mom or dad, but you’re you’re having a conversation, not through a window or over a phone. It’s facetoface, and so I really applaud the communities that have put that extra energy into creating, yes, a way for people to communicate. I mean, we need connections so, so very much. Yes, that’s one way. Another way is I know we’ve been talking about this, but Halloway Bingo is still a big deal. So if your parents or loved one are not participating in these kind of, I’m going to say this loosely, kind of silly, playful things, encourage them to. Oh, mom, just go go laugh with somebody. You know that. And when we step out of doing something from our norm or it might feel, please don’t take this to the bank, but a little childlike do it anyway. We still all heads inside of us, you know. So so play, step out. I mean this is such different times that we had to the different things. So I everyone to step out and and readjust their thinking, like Oh, I’ll just bill silly, or to don’t feel silly. It’s time to feel silly. We’ve bought a next serial defy. What you’re saying is so true. And and really too. We’re all being stretched right now. I’m you know, no matter who we are, what we do, who we see, you know, who’s in our lives, anything like that. So many of us are being stretched and it searts me can have an effect on our wellbeing and hack and and you know, I don’t know about you, but sometimes I’m just tired. I’m so tired I just want to escape and I find myself, you know, I don’t want to turn on the news anymore. I don’t want to, you know, deal with heavy topics. I want to find things that totally, you know, give me an escape from reality. And I’ve never been exactly but I know that’s that really goes into a lot of things that you’re saying. Of you know, allow yourself to disconnect from the heaviness. Yes, yes, absolutely. I mean we don’t need to have a covid count every day. We don’t need to know all the doom and gloom. We are well aware of it. But what we do know as we need to have some placefulness and human connection. Another tip I want to give to everybody if there’s an extra couple hundred dollars laying around and you can get a tablet of some kind, you know during with the apple products or android products or you know whatever it is, but get get a simple pad and a tablet and set it up and make it as easy as you can, because lots and lots of communities are doing programming through zoom or through some other ideal thing, and so now is the time. Even if your mom is eighty years old and she’s never done emails, she’s never had a smartphone, I think that we can make things happen. The staff is there to turn on things, the staff is there to get connected to the WIFI. Really searched that out if you’ve been on the fence and no, my mom’s ever done that. Oh, my dad’s Auntie, whatever. No, no, no, this is a time that we step out and do something new and make it possible, make it possible for the staff. I have your loved ones involved, because a lot right people in the communities are wanting to engage others and it’s just another creative way that we’re doing it. So it is a couple hundred bucks, but you know what, I think it’s well spent. Absolutely it’s sanity everything, and you mean in your experience. This is something that’s really interesting because I remember when I was taking care of my mother, I gifted her my old back then it was my old Imac, you know, remember those great colors and strawberry colored. You know, they look like spaceships. I gifted her old computer when I upgrade it right and I remember gifting it to her, she had about a nervous breakdown over it was like she went to a couple classes and it just was way too much for her and that would like it just you know, she couldn’t handle it. Of course my mom was you know, she’s born in one thousand nine hundred and twenty five, but I do think that there’s seniors that are now in the next you know, there were born in the s and a little bit more, you know, ability, you know, have the ability to adapt more. Are You finding? I guess my question is, how are seniors overall adapting to new things like that? What is your experience on that? You know, I would say it’s probably fifty is just in my little world, and it really has to do with two factors. What is their general personality and curiosity level, and how do you present it? Are you positive and energized and Oh, I know it’s a little confusing, but let’s just work through it. Can you write out steps for how the MOM can turn on her her tablet and get to the Internet and get to, you know, Youtube or whatever it is? It it is a cooperative effort and, I would say, more importantly, it depends upon how you present it as a person introducing something new. I would also encourage everyone to get someone in the community on board with you, because that will make it way easier. Let’s just come back to the basics of family helping family as usually the hardest combination to do. Having a third two ferry dress life a lot easier. So it’s just basics, one hundred and one. So if you can find somebody, an activity director or CNA or you know, Medtech even that’s got an extra minute. Talk to the you know, the activities director, and they might say always got a team of people doing that. Yes, let me get your hood done with. So to the door. It is too but I think people are bored enough to try something new. Yeah, and I think what you’re saying to is senior to senior, when they talked to somebody else, this might be their neighbor, whatever, and they say, Oh, yeah, I talk to my daughter, you know, every day on zoom or whatever that happens. It’s like there’s a little bit more of a social proof aspect of you know, well, if my neighbor can do it, I could do it too. And so like saying you said something that was really, really valuable in the fact that if daughter or son says hey you, this is going to be a lot more resistance than in if a professional comes in and says, by the way, we’ve have this wonderful tool for you, you’ll be able to see your family, we’re going to sit down with you. It’s a totally different mindset and I think that can help tremendously in helping them to adapt. And then even more if they see that other seniors in their community that are also doing it. That’s big. That’s really big. Yes, it is, it is. So that’s the tip of this section here in our get together today. You know, the step all the box, think a little creative ways, be silly, do things you’ve never done before. If you’re the senior and yourself, you know, say I’m going to do this, I’m going to talk to my friend Lois, who I know has been doing email with her grandkids. She could probably help me. So empower yourself. You can do this well and you just kind of set the take pace for today’s topic, and that is really about stepping outside the box and one of the ways in which I you know, we have about one minute left in our segment here, but I want to talk a little bit about how in our next segment. How Does Pinnacle Help Families? But even more so, what are the things that we can do as families to set step outside the box ourselves? I mean, this is really about reinvention and it’s about thinking about if your loved one or is you know, we talked about communities, but we’ve also got loved ones that are at home right now, senior loved ones that we may not be able to go see very off entage. If we do, we’re standing outside and but there’s still some things that we could do to help ease their lives and I would love to talk about that. So, Daphne, before we go to the next segment, how do we reach you? Best way is on my phone number of eight hundred, five, five, seven, three, four one thousand five hundred, and you can always go to our website, which is Pinnacle Senior Placementscom, and Pinnacle, for all of you that knows pinnacle, is kind of your information post, and you can always call Daphne no matter what the question is. Is Pretty much if you have a question about your loved one or how can you help, especially during these times, Daphne, if she doesn’t know the answer, you can certainly find out who does, can’t you? I sure can. Exactly right. Well, we’re in the next segment. We’re talking about this hour of what the things we can do to step outside the box and help our senior loved ones and I’m looking forward to exploring this conversation here in the next segment. So until then, Daphne will be back right after this