Early Preparation and Planning for Aging in Place with Dan White

*The following is the output of transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors.

The following podcast is a special presentation of answers for elders featuring Evergreen Washelli. Welcome to answers for elders radio. Everyone, I am here with our wonderful Dan White from Evergreen Washelli, Dan, welcome to the program today. Thank you, sir. We are doing this month all talking about aging a place and we’ve gone the gamut from you know, what are the legal documents you need to think about? What? How about Karen, the home? What are the home modifications that you need to look at? But you know, there’s also something that I’m really glad you’re here to talk about or, you know, while mom and dad are still independent and there’s some things that they need to consider about, you know, going forward for their final wishes, and I really wanted to have you here to talk a little bit about, you know, what are some considerations that mom or dad or a family should know about or talk about with their final wishes? Okay, well, there’s a couple of things and probably it’s a good thing you bring up some legal documents because, as we all know, as we get older sometimes we lose our capacity to make our own decisions. So certainly one of those documents is a power of attorney, to be able to have in place. But there’s also another document that’s authorized by the state of Washington and that’s called an appointment of agent, and that is specifically only for your final disposition as far as your wishes. I just recently did this for a couple. That we’re getting all their other things in order. They were getting their trust put together, their will put together, their estate put together. This was their second marriage, so they each had children from the probably had assets from other they do have assets and they each had three children. So what they decided to do, because this allows you to appoint a primary person as an agent. If that agents unable to then a secondary agent. Well, I asked them, how well do the six kids get along, and their answer was not the best. So typically in this state, if someone comes for a surviving parent, we need to get at least two thirds for a cremation, as far as the majority to authorizer cremation. But then imagine getting imagine getting six kids in the room trying to decide what’s going to happen for mom or for dad at that time. Well, this this what this instrument does is it appoints one person. So it was the wife who ended up. It was her daughter who is going to be the secondary one. So what that means for both the husband her step father. She is going to be the legal agent and we only deal with that legal agent. The other children do not have a in the final disposition. It really makes things a lot cleaner. It does nicer because we’re dealing with one person and they are there too, strictly to honor the wishes of the of the parent. And you know, this is interesting to dam that you talk about this, because I always encourage families at that time to get a neutral party to do it just for that reason it. I know that a lot of families say, well, I have one of my heirs do it, and and what happens is that air than whoever is that person. They’re getting the heat from everybody else in the family and it’s like they end up with the short end of the stick. It to keep peace. So you know, another option of courses is to get a neutral party. Yes, someone that’s good with money, good with, you know, with details, good with administrating documents, etc, notifying financial institutions and things like that. Yeah, this is also very good for those people who currently live alone and don’t really have any relatives. If they have a close friend that they would like to make sure that their wishes are on are they can appoint. They do not have to be a relative to fill that position. It right, anybody right, and you know that’s important too. I’m just, you know, thinking about in with your final wishes, is that when mom or dad passes, it is a very emotional time for a family, especially if Marm or dad have been the matriarch or patriarch of the family. There’s this shifting of you know, of power. I use the word power kind of weird. I don’t know what else to talk to it. It’s a dynamic that shifts and I think that that’s important to in understanding that everybody has their own process and you know, not everybody’s going to agree with how things go at that time. So to have those things laid out in advance helps to it’s such a gift that that a you can give your family that they don’t have to argue over these matters. So yes, and that’s that’s how I look at it and we certainly welcome that, because I have been in arrangements where they’ve lasted three to four hours. My God, Make Yeah, decisions. Yeah, and it is, it can be can be grilling, but it also has to be done. Like you say, everybody within that room has a different dynamic, right, and everybody is grieving, everybody is in shock, and so our job on our end, at everyone sh allast, to try to help them get through that process as easy as possible, to make it as easy and make the transition good for them well. And you know, to have a organization like you guys are that had been in this community for as long as you have, you pretty much dealt with every situation imaginable, I’m quite sure. So yes, you know, having the ability to help families through this grief, you know this initial grief, is such a valuable resource, you know, and to have you, know your guidance in that area, I certainly you are definitely a center point that we can count on in this community and we’re so grateful to have you, guys, as what you’ve been for this community. So thank you. That’s that is what we are here for and we look forward to this helping as many families as we can, especially prepare for that inevitable time. So we are talking with Mr. Dan White from Evergreen Washelli and Dan tell me a little bit about Evergreen Washelli. People know the name, but where you located and what area is primarily do you serve and what are kind of your special niche? I guess in the area. Well, evergreenwash shelley as a cemetery that was actually formed by a couple of the founding denny family members who actually started help start Seattle. And we’re located in the North Gate area off of Aurora at one, one, one, one, one, Aurora Avenue North. That’s five ones. That’s a amazing yeah, it’s amazing. So just down the street from Home Depot, I know home deferr there. Yeah, and low’s. Yeah, we’re just we’re just south of their. Yeah, we are. Yeah. So it’s a beautiful park. There are two sides to it. One side we call Washelli, the Onside Evergreen, but it is all one cemetery. Well, and you guys have a huge veteran cemetery there. We do. We have a veteran cemetery which was started many years ago. We have about fifty five hundred veterans who are placed there well, and there was pretty much one of the first cemeteries for veterans that were started. It’s not a nationally recognized like the one and Tahoma Right National Park, but it is definitely a recognized and we follow the same rules as the military do. We have the similar headstones which are there and siace. It’s quite beautiful and we have a lot of history all the way from the civil war moving forward as far as victims that are placed there. That’s important. That’s important. And then as far as is then you also have abbey view. Yes, we do. We have abby view, which was started in one thousand nine hundred and fifty three, which is up in our Briar location and for folks that don’t know quite where that is, used to be called alderwood manor. It’s surrounded by Bothel and Lake Forest Park, can more Mount Lake terrace and it’s a beautiful fall on the hilly side. has about eighty three acres, but only about twenty five of those acres are developed, but it’s and it’s a nice utiful but is a beautiful place. I I am just blown away, how at the beauty of Abbey View. It’s a very pretty it occasion. And then our last location is currently in Bothel and we took over that location in one thousand nine hundred and ninety nine. Before that it was actually the bottel funeral home. That is the same building for over a hundred years. Wow, wow, and that’s that is basically your lifetime celebrations locals. Crater lifetime celebrations is what the name of it is, and we basically will hold funerals there, have a reception hall and it’s just nice to be in that part of the community. Right. So, if mom or dad are still, you know, aging in place, yes, why should they preplan their their final wishes? Well, probably the biggest reason is number one is peace of mind knowing that it’s done. Because, Suzanne, when I’ve met with families that there was no planning done, especially from the children. You they leave. Sometimes some of them leave with a guilt, feeling sure, wondering if they really honored their parents wishes. And there’s really nobody that knows better what your wishes are then you yourself, and a lot of families today, a lot of couples don’t even know, if one were to die today, what they would be doing to make those decisions tomorrow morning what they would because some people choose cremation, some people choose burial, some people want of you and some people don’t. So there’s an awful lot of decisions were actually compiled. There’s about a hundred and twenty four different decisions that need to be made when someone passes, and so that’s probably the biggest reason. The second reason is that if you do it through us, we offer trust, which are then we guarantee the pricing of the services that we provide. Today. That’s so huge. Yes, it is so, isn’t? I read somewhere that the costs of funerals double at like, what is it? Every three years? Something like that, closer to every seven, every seven. But it is still, it’s still it’s still goes out easy, it’s still and it can be quite expensive. And I have families that will tell me all the kids will take care of it. Well, I just have to say to that would you rather they have a seven thousand dollar bill or a thirty five thousand dollar bill? One exactly, exactly and worth it, you know, and just really you know, going back to that whole process of peace of mind is in it’s priceless, especially at that time. It is so Dan. How do we reach you? Well, the best way to reach me as probably on my cell phone at four two, five two, four one, two eight hundred and fifty three, or you can reach me at evergreenwash alley at our central number to zero six three, six two hundred and fifty two hundred, or by email at DWhite@washelli.com. And one of the things that I really want to wrap up, because I know we got a little bit of time and I wanted to talk a lot about your expert profile on answers for elders radio, where people can go there and really learn about this process. Dan, you’ve been such a wealth of information. You know anything from obviously how to honor your loved ones to traditions to talking about working with different churches and all the different things that Evergreen Washelli does. I think is really important that you know people go look for Dan White on Answers for Elders Radio and you’ll certainly be able to learn all about you and what you do. So thank you so much for being here. Thanks has Anna’s always pleasure. This has been a special presentation of answers for elders featuring Evergreen Washelli. For more information about Evergreen Washelli. Their website is washelli.com. That’s washelli.com.