In this hour, Daphne Davis at Pinnacle Senior Placements talks about how to reduce stress, embrace summer and get back out into the world, with those you haven’t seen in a long time. In this segment, Daphne focuses on advice to help your mom or dad transition if they haven’t been out during the pandemic. Daphne gives advice and tips even with the logistical functions of simple things, like getting into a car and securing their seat belt. Reassure them that it’s OK to have help, best smart even with the simple things.
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*The following is the output of transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors.
The following podcast is provided by pinnacles senior placements LLC and answers for elders radio. And welcome back everyone to answer for elders radio. And I am here again this hour with a Wonderful Daphne Davis from pinnacle senior placements, and we are talking about embracing summer time, getting back out into the world again. And you know, this is really has been some challenging times you and you’re probably in touch with loved ones that you haven’t seen for a long time. You may may have seen. Maybe they need a little bit of extra help, and so Daphne’s here we’re going to talk about this segment about how to just kind of help them transition, and part of that is just logistical functions. And so, Daphne, welcome back. You talked about in the last segment about just getting in a car. That’s a unique scenario, is it not? It can be. Yes, especially define if you hadn’t taken mom or dad out and about for the you know, last year and a half or so, you might be surprised. And so just help the little tips. I’m not a physical therapist, but just been around the block a couple of times. The tips is usually most of us put our put in the in the car before anything else. We step into car, we’re holding onto something with one of your hands. I would suggest a safer way to be is to sit in the car. So you’re going to have your body turned out of the car, you both feet are outside of the car and you’re going to sit on the seat and then swowing your legs into the car. Yeah, and find you it might be a challenge to have those legs get lifted up and put in the car. Offer to your loved one, your mom or your dad, and a friend, let me help you to lift those legs. There’s no shame in allowing people to help you, do you think? Yeah, how eyes, so that you mitigate risk factors. Sure, and you qualow the of life high, so down and then swing your legs over into the car and then adjust yourself handle on the car that you can usually in most cars, that you can hang onto that can kind of lift you up a little bit and get you situated properly. The next step would be that seat belt. And I know even for me getting into a car that’s not mine, I don’t always know exactly where that seat belt holder gets, you know, plugged in. Let someone help you. It’s okay to have help. Don’t make life difficult. Or sometimes I have people even in the back seat of my car, that get in and I can tell exactly how to do it. It’s all let me help you with the seatbell. No, no, no, I could do it, and then I find out they’ve been holding the seat belt in place. It’s not a good plan. Someone help. Be Correct, guys, be smart and let people help you, even with putting the seat up before. And you know, it’s not only just with visibility. I had surgery on my right hand and I was in a major cast and I couldn’t do the seat ELP. I couldn’t at talking about getting in the car and pulling yourself in. I had to learn to sit and swing just because I didn’t have the use of my right hand, even to close the door, because if I was a passenger and I had my hand in a cast, I had to turn around and I’d have to then pull the door. So I had asked for help, and it’s humbling to ask for help, but you know what this is when friends of mine kept saying it’s my joy to help you, I want to help you and, and you know this is I you know, I’m a rose gardener and I have a friend of mine that twenty years younger than me and she she said to me, since I made my mid S, stop, stop. It’s just like you’re in your mid S. I don’t expect you to be able to do the things I can do. To just relax. I think a lot of as we put pursure on ourselves that really isn’t necessary. It’s the fact that this is you know, we have come to a time as we’re getting older, there’s things we can’t do anymore and that’s okay. It is okay, it’s totally it okay, and so there’s an equality of life and and exploring a summer time and allowing yourself to do things again. Honor you where your body’s at. Your body is inchine and we know that all machines get tired, where they need a lot extra maintenance, or machines actually need to have parts replay, or machines might not function to their full capacity and time. Your body is a machine, onor that machine and in that has the humbling. But there’s no shame in asking for help. There’s no no all for those about who are in the industry, and I know talking to many family members, children and whatnot, they’re like, I just wished my mom and dad would let me help them. Let me carry the launder desket. I mean it’s helps in terms of fall mitigation. I don’t want you to fall, mom. Yeah, I know you can list the launder death and let me just hire carry it down only for you know, people like that. It doesn’t mean that you’re incapable in someone loves you and it means you’re smart. You’re right, am yes, right. So out and about and you’re having fun and you’re exploring the world. Let’s just say you’re going out for for a lunch and you’ve decided to go some place that you haven’t been in a long while and you’re not real sure things that change or how things are working. My my invitation to family members is asked obvious questions. If you know that it’s something that’s your loved one is concerned about, you may know the answer, but if you talk about it out loud, it loses all of its power. Yeah, you know what, have to sit in a booth. I can’t scart across on a booth anymore. I need a chair. You know, it’s simple thing like that. I mean, who think about moving across the bench on a booth or having a chair and outside of yourself and be able to anticipate what might be concerned to someone? Sure takes a little bit of energy when you first get taking people out and about and it takes some extra thought on your part as the person providing the activity that in time, be a natural at it well, and I think what you’re saying is just to pay attention. You know, a lot of the things. I think we take for granted that, well, mom used to do this and so she’s always going to do this, and I think there’s little details that we can watch for that, you know, we can be more proactive about being helper, helping them, and I know that. You know, I think that’s one of the things that shows them that you love them, that you care about them, that you want to be there for them, you know, and talking about asking for help, I remember when I first started taking care of my mom, she was ashamed, quote unquote, I found out when we went to counseling, because she didn’t want to put me out and she felt like she was being a burden and I was like so dumbfounded. I was shocked like a mom. It is my privilege. I go, I get the gift of you to take care of you and be with you. I don’t it is not a burden to me. It is a privilege for me to be there for you. And I think that’s where we get lost in translation. Or are your loved one may feel a little bit more like they don’t want to burden their children. And in actuality I am venturing to say that our children feel more like how I felt. Absolutely. I hear this kind of theme all the time. Along that same line, I can also hear, and this comes from sons and daughters, both. You know, why does somebody, my dad, has to get so crabby? or Mom just gets, you know, with drawn. She’s not conversational anymore. When we go out and about. It’s not any fun. And I would venture to guess there might be some personnelity be in there. But I was ventured again. It’s more about the fear of the unknown and that they’re consumed with. I want to be socially appropriate. I don’t want to be a burden. I don’t want to trip over the rug that’s walking into the restaurant. I don’t want to have to go to the bathroom and I don’t know where it is and you know, should I ask and the server, because I’m hard of hearing and and you know, I don’t want to be put in a situation where they, you know, they are cross with me or or they don’t understand or things like that. Absolutely. Yeah, new beeven in because it’s too dark. Yeah, heard all of those things. Yeah, all kinds of those things are you know, and for you, as a lot the loved one to an elder, you know, to ask can I can I assist you in anything? Or what are you thinking about? Is a no luncher or or breakfast right now for lunch? You know, we can have either. Which would you prefer? It’s on page eight in the menu. Point to it. You know, it’s on the left hand side, way down. Those things are very conversational. Without making anybody’s vignety away, I remember to you could just say, mom or what are you in the move for today? You want your favorite set of ten? You know, I bet they would make that for you, even if it’s not on the menu. Maybe she wanted you know, I’L Fredo and don’t have that. It’s ten alfredy on the menu and like shrimp in it. You can ask the restaurant. This is what my mom would like, you know, can you do that for us? And and I will tell you nine times out of ten they will. If they ingredients, absolutely will accommodate. And so you know mom doesn’t like want have anything that’s shorter. You know. Do you have macaroni instead or anything like that? A restaurant will. They’re amazing that way. They want to please you and they’re more than willing to go out of their way to help. So definitely is in closing, you know you’re we’re talking about just getting around in our community and I think I want to go in our next step and talk a little bit about this is time for family vacations. We’re going to be going on road trips, we’re going to be getting on airplanes, maybe trains, maybe buses. You know stadiums, you know our lum and field. The NFL just announced that stadiums are going to full capacity. You might want to take your loved one little football game in the fall or anything like that, or soccer game this summer, anything like that. Let’s talk a little bit about getting out there into the world and what are some things we should think about? So, in the meantime, Daphne, how do we reach you? So you can reach me via our website at Pinnacom senior placements, with an Scom Connectscom, or you can reach us at our eight hundred fifty five, seven, three four, one thousand five hundred, and we will always get back to you. Always, if it’s after hours, call us will always have then get back well, and you know, for those of you that are listening, just know that, day inner, team are here to be an information post, no matter what you’re dealing with. Right now with a senior love one, we’re talking about this topic, but really, pinnacle is there for those transitional times. You might think about home care, you might be thinking about you know how to would you know my my senior loved one is being forgetful or I don’t know how to navigate alzheimers of dementia, or maybe there’s some challenges going on. This is the time to pick up the phone, in the early stages. There’s no decisions that have to be made. This is the kind of thing that we hope that you and your family will take advantage of and in the meantime, everyone dapthy will be right back right after this. The preceding podcast was provided by pinnacles senior placements LLC and answers for elders radio. To contact pinnacles senior placements, go to Pinnacle Senior Placementscom
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Founder and CEO of Answers for Elders, Inc., Suzanne Newman proclaims often, “Caring for my mom was the hardest thing I ever have done, but it was also my greatest privilege.” Following a career of over 25 years in sales, media, and marketing management, Suzanne Newman found herself on a 6-year journey caring for her mother. Her trials and tribulations as a family caregiver inspired an impassioned life mission outside of the corporate world to revolutionize the journey that so many other American families also find themselves on. In 2009, she became the founder and CEO of Answers for Elders, Inc., subsequently hosting hundreds of radio segments and podcasts, as well as authoring her first book. Suzanne and Answers for Elders, Inc. have spent 14 years, and counting, committed to helping families and seniors along their caregiving journeys by providing education, resources, and support. Each week on the Answers for Elders podcast, Suzanne is joined by vetted professional experts in over 65 categories including Health & Wellness, Life Changes, Living Options, Money, Law, and more. Suzanne lives in Edmonds, Washington with her husband, Keith, and their two doodle dogs, Whidbey and Skagit.
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