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Emergency Decisions with Daphne Davis

At the crossroads, what happens when there is a life change for a senior living one? What happens when there’s a crisis — for example, when your mom has a heart attack, or broken a hip, or had a bad case of pneumonia? Daphne Davis at Pinnacle Senior Placements explains that 80% of the people she works with are in this situation. It’s rare that she gets to go over options ahead of time. So don’t feel ill prepared, or like the Lone Ranger.

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*The following is the output of transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors.

The following podcast is provided by pinnacles senior placements LLC and answers for elders radio. And Welcome to answers for elders radio. Everyone. We are here again with Wonderful Daphne Davis from Pinnacle senior placements and we are here all talking about at the crossroads. What happens when there’s a life change for a senior loved one, and we’ve talked about you know, to plan ahead. That’s one thing. What happens if there’s a crisis? Let’s talk about you know, all of a sudden mom has a heart attack and she’s in a rehab happens all the time. Let me just say to everyone probably eighty percent of the people that I work with are in this situation. It’s rare that I get to have the window of opportunity to go over options with a family ahead of time. So please, don’t feel like the lone ranger, don’t feel stupid, don’t feel ill prepared. Until you need the information, you’re not going to ask for it. That’s human nature. So let that go to the side and just feel empowered from this point forward. If you find yourself in the situation that mom or dad have had to have some Rehab. Something has gone on, the heart attack, a broken hip, real bad case of pneumonia and set them back and they’re not surgery any yes, and they’re not at their baseline before the event, right. And you’re plan was what mom’s going to have, you know, for three four weeks of Rehab on her hip and then she’s going to go home and dad’s at home waiting for her. And you get down to the wire and you find out that I thought she was going to get more care than this and that Rehab was going to last longer. And so there’s a lot of things that have changed just on the Medicare level. So those will be eye opening for you. So you’ve gotten to the place at the social worker at the Rehab facility is saying, you know, we’ve got about four days before her coverage is ended, and they throw this number of three to four hundred dollars that you’re welcome to have mom stay here, but it’s two, three to four hundred dollars a day and that’s a bargain. Yeah, I was gonna say I know places I’ve put here in Seattle the charge going to charge double that. Yeah, it can be anything, but you’re like, AH, what do I do? And so at that point, hopefully that social worker has some resources for you, but you, as a listener here, have me as a resource to call pinnacle and be able to say, Daphne, this is my situation. I then come in and we talk about what’s going on with mom and you can help in that quick of a time frame. Absolutely you could be there. And I know you because I’ve I’ve called you sometimes at five o’clock at night because I talked to a family, thinking, oh, she’s not going to call it till tomorrow, and boy, you were on it that night, which was incredible. Well, that happens because one I know that family is in crisis. It’s right they’re worrying about things, and my heart is I want to give families information so they can make an informed decision. Many times, when you’re in crisis or when you’re in an anxious spot, you shoot from the hip and you do what you think is best at the time without taking a deep breath and gathering information, and so I’m here to help you gather information. And so at that point we talk about things and and sometimes it’s a stepping stone of care and so that might look like Mom Dad really need to be at home. Mom is just begging to be at home. There’s no cognition issues and we’re going to do in home care. We want to do in home care, and I say, Hallelujah, let’s get this all set up. I’ve got companies that I’ve vetted that I know are going to follow through with what they say they’re going to do. there. Their caregiver show up. You don’t have to play pinch hitter because somebody right show up, which is not an option when someone needs critical care. And so I’ll guide you in that way. I’ll guide you in terms of how many hours, what time of day, what are you your loved ones, patterns of life, and terms of figuring that that care plan out. Sure in home. Many times what happens is that the care plan will work for a couple days. Maybe we’ll get to seven days and you’ll have an eye opening a moment that says I have to be here at night. I thought mom was going to be able to be cognitive enough and not fearful and her pain was going to be under control. And that’s where I come in again and I say, well, let’s look at out of the home care options. Now that can be anything from a respite stay someplace that someone gets twenty four hours of care without making the big move, because she just needs more time to get strong her her body cells are needing to to regenerate, generate heal, and so we just need the gift of time. Sure, sometimes it means a permanent move, and so I’m here to walk through all of those steps with you. Finance has become an issue. It’s that of a huge issue. It’s huge. I mean the cost of care outside of your home or in home is a lot. Generally speaking, in home care is going to be the most expensive form of care, which is always a very big surprise to people, but that but it is. And then I can guide you in terms of what is the budget? What are the financial situations? Do we need to look at Medicaid? When does that happen? How does that happen? Will my mom or dad qualify? All those questions, we’ll talk about so it’s when you’re in the throes of I don’t know what to do, you know and there’s there’s three of us kids and we should be able to figure that out, at least gather information from someone have the courage to say I don’t know what I don’t know. Let’s just gather something from and you know that alone, I don’t know what I don’t know is life changing because I think especially families, they feel like they have to hold it all together and they feel like, oh my gosh, everything’s on my shoulders and I got to handle it, and it’s okay to say I don’t know what I don’t know, because, trust me, you won’t know. When I have conversations with families constantly, I tried really hard to talk about the uniqueness of their loved ones, but there are also some things that we can anticipate to happen. Some confusion, some stubbornness, it could be this, this pride that typically has served someone really well and now we need to know how do I massage my dad’s pride or my mom’s pride for him to still say face right, but except the care that he desperately needs, or we’re going to be back in the hospital. So we are talking to Daphne Davis from Pinnacle senior placements and Daphne, you help families all over pretty much greater puget sound. As I correct that’s correct from you know, I’ve just had two clients out in Jefferson County. So if you’re sitting out in Jefferson County, I can help you out there. So I’m having fun learning new areas out there, but I also am very I mean there’s very few homes that you could and care facilities that you could name to me that I wouldn’t know in particularly South King County and in all of Pierce County. Those are strong areas for me and most certainly you’ve helped families that I have referred to you two and and they have been very grateful for you know, your service and and and I think one of the things that you know, in in a crossroads like that, when there’s a crisis, everybody is emotionally on tilt, especially when it or if mother or father or the matriarch or patriarch of the family. And and a family dynamic shifts. Yes, you know, they’re always. Is that natural? You know what’s the word I want now? It’s just national fall into succession line that a family has. Yep, and let’s say, for example, if father’s been controlling things, is the patriarch of the family and is always called the shots it’s like, all of a sudden, father’s not there to do that, or father’s maybe has some you know, heart issues, are stroke issues. Everybody in the family kind of has a different role. They don’t know how to be it kind of crumbles and falls apart. And that’s where you have that shift, of of taking on the responsibility of guiding more decision making. Still do it in a way, and I’ll help you do it in a way that your dad feels like he’s a part of the decision making process exactly. You guide it so that it’s something that they will have a joy filled, quality, dignified, safe life. And and the good news about that is is our listeners. You know, it’s not a great time in the world to make major decisions when you’re emotionally charged. Charge. Somebody like Daphne yes can be a wonderful voice of reason for the entire situation and isn’t wrapped up in the dynamic of the family, and I think that’s really important in the fact that you know your loved one, your senior loved one, whoever they are, is going to feel like they’re heard, they’re going to feel like somebody has their advocating Daphne’s advocating for them and you, guys, is family members can just be the daughter, be the sun, be the one that you know that sits there and say, you know, mom loves chocolate milkshakes, I’m going to run down to McDonald’s or run down to Wendy’s and get her of frosty. You know, that’s the kind of thing that family members should be doing. It’s things like that that allows you to kind of be that daughter that loves them through no matter what happens. That’s right, that is that’s huge. There’s the the bet very, very best medicine is love and its absolutely in crisis, yes, and especially when there’s so much fear. It’s like, I know you’ve talked touched on before, the anxiety. Anxiety is a huge issue in with families in crisis and understand that. The more and more that you can just be that calming force through it and that loving force as a loved one and let the professional like Daphne kind of take the reins in those kind of areas, I think is important. It is and not very often I communicate kind of my position, and my position is I don’t pull the Band-Aid off. The sore very slowly. I like to rip it off and get it over with and just deal with something fast. And I kind of look at guiding families in the same way, primarily because there’s usually health issues, critical health issues, that are going on. I have a family just today. You know that she’s her dad is so torn how to take care of himself and take care of, you know, his family at the same time as wife, and there’s a pride issue. Oh, it’s hard, and so I can be that voice that says the hard words. I can be the voice that says things without any emotional charge, without fifty years of history, like, there she goes again. You know, it’s so that’s Susi q’s kind of thing. You know she’s going to talk about that, or you know brother Bruce is going to do this. Yeah, I’ve or I’ve heard it before. I don’t need to hear it again. That’s right, that’s right. All those things happen when you are anxious and having to make decisions. Very, very true. And so obviously you come in and you your services are hundred percent free too. Families. Tell me a little bit about that. So I’m paid as a realtor, a specialized realtor. I get a onetime commission of the services that I provide from the communities. I work as an extension of their marketing department and there are some legal reasons that happens in our state, but most of it, in from my point of view, comes from I want to give you an objective point of view of what are your options and what would work best for your family situation and talk about the pluses and so I’m paid in that way. That’s where my family’s don’t pay anything for my services. I do a lot of pro bono work. You know that. That’s a part of what I do because I want to do the right thing for the right reason and figure out where is the best place for this this particular individual. So definitely, how do we reach it? You reach me at eight hundred and fifty five, seven thirty four, one thousand five hundred. I am so glad you’re here. And then, of course you can also reach you through the website. That’s correct, at Pinnacle senior placements that come. Thanks again for being on the program thank you. The preceding podcast was provided by pinnacles senior placements LLC. And answers for elders radio to contact pinnacles senior placements, go to Pinnacle Senior Placementscom


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Originally published June 16, 2018

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