Family Caregiving, Part 1 with Daphne Davis

*The following is the output of transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors.

There’s no place like home. And last of course, it’s in a state of chaos. Are you overwhelmed by the sure volume of things you’ve accumulated throughout the decades, yet real as the need to downsize? Or perhaps you find the idea of decluttering and preparing for a move just too large of a test to tackle? Hi, I’m Susanne, all be owner of be organized Seattle. It’s normal to feel overwhelmed when it’s time to downsize. We understand firsthand how stressful a move can be, but also know how to meet those challenges. We are here to help you simplify your hive. By working alongside you. We can help you sort your belongings, prepare for an estate sale, get your home ready to put on the market, handle your move logistics and even take on your to do list and summary. We’re here to help make your life a lot easier and can take care of the details from start to finish, and we do all of this with a compassionate, confidential and judgment free approach. Get to know our helpful bees in the greater puget sound area or many cities across the US by giving us a buzz at two thousand and six, six to seven, zero nine, five seven, or visit be organizedcom. That’s be ee organizedcom. The following podcast is provided by pinnacles senior placements, LLLC and answers for elders radio. And welcome everyone to answers for algri radio. And we are here on the dazing fall season and you know, for all of us that are approaching the fall and getting back in September, it’s like there’s a lot of things that we need to think about. You know, how do we prepare for the serious things? And we are very privileged today to have one of our favorite guests of in the world and that is the Wonderful Daphne Davis from pinnacle senior placements. Daphne, well, all come back as usual. We love having you and I like being here sore even well, you know, I’m really excited because we it’s like people have been on the summer vacations and we’re not thinking about serious things and then all of a sudden it’s like life catches up and it’s September and we have to start taking care of business, quote unquote. A lot of this have seen senior loved ones over the summer holidays and after a lot of times it’s been they’ve been quarantine in certain cases. And you know, I guess over overall it’s like a lot of us are stepping into a lot more quote unquote, caregiver duties or family caregiver duties. What are you finding right now, this time of year? All true to form, I’m finding that we are getting busy. September, October is usually our busy, busy time. I think it’s the rhythm of life, like you talked about. We kind of we don’t check out, but we certainly renew our charge, our batteries, I guess, and the number of times. And so now it’s school is back in session. We’re getting into rhythms of life and now, like, just like you said, we’re having to jump into real life again, not some of such life. Yeah, and so what I’m finding in my world right now is, and this is a little bit heartbreaking for me, but a late at pinnacle we are having younger sons and daughters having to help their parents who are in their mid S, early to mid s. What Times these think? So Pinnacle, we’re finding that families are dealing with Parkinson’s and usually along with that is coming some kind of cognition challenge, some form of dementia. We’ve also had very young people having strokes, and so it’s really odd to be dealing with seventy year old. Usually I’m working with some people who are in their eighth or ninth big decades, and so with’s causing some of the challenge is that people who are in their s or early s are usually raising their own families, have full time jobs, are really challenged with all of these things that they didn’t think they had to talk about or think about in terms of what is the power of attorney? What does it mean that I can’t see my loved one in the hospital? How do I do that? What services are available? And so I have really had a plethora of people who have needed to have someone like myself and an advisor to help guide them through the maze of our medical system. Right. So that I mean there’s a lot of things that I do, but this is one of them that I’ve becoming more valuable to to my clients and their families. Everything is still a little off, a little odd. Do you think a part of it could be? I know there’s a lot of things that are happened post post covid maybe there was an underlying condition that wasn’t necessarily, you know, in need of help, but as you’re more vulnerable to you know, and being older over sixty five this, are you finding some of that at all? You know that that could be a part of it, and certainly this is all just anecdotal, but I do think that there might be some case of our health not being dealt with properly. Maybe it’s even as simple as having tele a health visits with your doctor instead of in person. Maybe it’s the situation of not being able to have the surgery that was elective, but really it wasn’t so elective and should have been the air of there could be a lot of things, but I do know that doing the basics, and I’m going to just my three legged stool of medication, hydration and nutrition, medication, hydration, and you turn, you’ve been quarantined. So they’re not taking care of themselves. No, and so those things are so important. I mean, I know it just sounds straight, but please get some protein, please drink your water and please be sure that you’re not dropping your medication. Yeah, I think. I think to just the lack of income that people have had. They’re not, but they’re not eating healthy food. So a lot of that is contributing. So this younger thirty, five, forty year old, that’s not even it’s not even on their radar. No, do they really understand what’s in front of them fully that? You know, they’re not prepared. They’ve never taken care of anybody before, except maybe they’re a parent, you know, but it’s a whole different ball of wax with seniors. They they have no idea what they’re stepping into. And that’s where you know, to all of our listeners, please tell others about those placement navigators. There’s Mats Advisors, Pinnacle Senior Places is here to help people. s US, give us a call. I know I sound like a broken record, but Dow got it. People need help and we’re here to help right and other thing is they don’t and you can help them. Whether they’re going to assist a living or not, that’s not the issue. So No, a lot of things. I think sometimes people feel like, well, I don’t want to be forced into putting my parent into sisted living, so I’m not going to call. That’s not the reason not to call that and I think that light we really need to emphasize that. Yeah, with people here at Pinnacle, with our team at Pinnacle, we are here as an information post. We are here to help you and it’s a similar you call, the better it is in terms of gathering information and preparing. Very, very seldom that do I ever have someone that I’m just like, I don’t know why they called me, it’s not doesn’t happen, and so I’m always excited about having somebody give us a call. And so one of the things that gets overwhelming for people who are faced with with, say, an emergency hospitalization or somebody who had an accident. Now they’re in the ear and the person to help doesn’t even have power of attorney. Yet. You know many, many families don’t have the paperwork in place, and I want to clarify something. So many times families will say to me, but I have an executor for my will. That’s not the same. No, the executor for your will is for after you’ve passed away, as after you have taken your last breath. The power of attorney, both financial and medical, are all about while you’re living and in the event that you cannot advocate for yourself, you want to assign someone, when you are competent, clear minded and can make a good decision, know what you’re signing to, someone who would know your values, your desires, your wishes that can help speak for you. A power of attorney speaks for you. They they are not the person. And after you’ve died, that my will is going to be, you know, executed this way. Two different things. So that’s one thing that I’ve run into a lot and a lot of people get confused in that. You don’t even have to be thirty five to be confused about that, and I think it’s a really important conversation to have, because here’s the thing. This power of attorney needs to advocate for you and not for their own purposes. You know, just because mom or dad might feel one way, it doesn’t mean that you, as a power of attorney, have a right to inflict your values on them. And so a lot of times what I run into is say, well, mom and dad, you know that the doctors advising that that mom has only thickened liquids. MOM wants to drink water right, and you’re sitting there, as an power of attorney, going you know, how do I help make that decision? And you know, I had to really sometimes you will find as you’re taking care of a loved one, you’re going to have conflicting values. But the main thing to remember as a responsibility as power of attorney is it’s about their life, not yours, and that’s the thing that I think is really important to really have that core feeling of you know, do I know this person enough to be able to make those decisions and and can you trust that person if you’re, if for any reason, in compacituted, that they will act on your behalf, not on their own agenda? Yeah, that’s exactly right. You hit on some really good points. I’ve just recently had a couple of family members that have called adult protective services aps on the power of attorney because that family member didn’t understand what the responsibilities of the power of attorney was right. So it was an unfounded claim that there was any kind of financial or physical emotional abuse being done, but nonetheless it’s it pointed out to me that we really need to have conversations within families, with with a family attorney, with a financial planner, with the person that’s doing your text preparing. Sometimes they might know just enough to be able to say yes, talk to this person or someone like us. I’m not an attorney, I’m not an antial planner, but I know how to get you to people who can help you correct and that’s that’s the piece that’s really important. When I think this hour we’re going to discuss several different aspects of what does that mean if you’re taking care of a loved one? What is your quote unquote job description? And I think one of the things that definitely and I are going to floar with you guys this hour is what is that mean, not only in health care, but financial and legal, and how do you best serve and be the best advocate that you can be? So in the meantime, definitely, how do we reach you and tell it’s really briefly about pinnacle. Well, Pinnacle Senior placement has been in business now in our seventh year. I’ve been helping family for twenty one years and what we do is help families navigate on care communities that are available when someone needs a little extra support. Usually that’s out of their home, but we also can help with in home care and get you connected with people who can can come into your home and the time frames that you want and give you them support to keep you safe and being, I’d life. Our services are completely free and you can reach us the easiest at eight hundred and fifty five. Our phone number starts with eight hundred and fifty five, seven, thirty four, one, sixteen hundred, and then also on our website you can reach as a pinnacle senior Placementscom and all those words are spelled out and you can even catch some video tapes. There’s some podcasts at Susanna and I have done in the past. So all our job. Yes, learn a lot about from Daphne and get to know her on her website. And for everyone else that’s listening to this show, we’re very excited you’re here and look forward to being back with you right after this. The preceding podcast was provided by pinnacles senior placements LLC and answers for elders radio. To contact pinnacles senior placements, go to Pinnacle Senior Placementscom