Family Caregiving, Part 3: Legal Concerns with Daphne Davis

*The following is the output of transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors.

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Get to know our helpful bees in the greater puget sound area or many cities across the US by giving us a buzz at two thousand and six, six to seven, zero nine five seven, or visit be organizedcom. That’s be ee organizedcom. The following podcast is provided by pinnacles senior placements, LLLC and answers for elders radio and welcome back everyone, as we are here with Daphne Davis from Pinnacle senior placements on the A S for elthers radio network and Daphne Davis, I am so excited that we’re talking about topic that every single listener today should be listening to and whether you think it applies to you today, it probably will in the future. And so, as a result, we’re talking about, you know, what is the family caregiver, quote unquote, unpaid family member that taking care of a loved one? What’s their job description? What does that really mean? I think so many of us are confused or we think that, oh, just taking somebody a doctor appointment is in a big deal. But, like what we talked about, both things are huge. They’re huge if you have that responsibility because it affects your your your job, your job performance, your pension, your income, all of these things, your family commitments, all of these things that it that is involved, and so obviously having these types of conversations up burn’t understanding what your expectations are of you. There’s no surprises in the in them long end. And the other thing is it affects the entire family, whether the other family members are involved or not. It means other families picking you know, family members picking up the flat right and so I’m definitely welcome back and and sharing with us a little bit I want to go into. We talked kind of about healthcare and what happens in a hospital. I would love to talk a little bit about the legal side. I know neither one of us are attorneys and and we have our wonderful Jim Taylor who’s talked a lot about that on our our website, but I would love to talk to you a little bit about what you’re seeing with with families that when they’re dealing with legal ast books. So a lot of our conversation today is driven by what I’m seeing currently. So these things are not hypothetical stories and they’re not hypothetical things for you to just put on the back burner and say I’ll build with that next month or oh, I’m only fifty years old, I don’t need this now. I’m telling you all, please take care of these things. That will make life so much easier for whoever is helping you in the event of some kind of accident or help. You know situation in terms of the legal documents. We’ve talked about the medical power of attorney already, and there’s also a financial power of attorney, and this is very important. Lenny. Just paint a little picture here. Let’s say that mom or dad are in the hospital. They’ve had a stroke. There there for a while, they go to rehab their they’re getting stronger, they’re doing physical therapy and now all of a sudden, two months has gone by and you can’t even wait. Months went by and who’s been paying the bills? And did a long from care insurance policy get paid last month or you know it’s the comcast build being paid, utilities being paid? Do they still have a mortgage and did they get paid? How do I get into mom or DAD’s accounts? How do I get to the bank and be able to have some of these bills paid? Do I have access to their banking do I know where there for a one K is and do I have access to that? Does their financial plan or know that I’m the power of attorney? Are you the power of attorney for financial? These are all very clear, real happens every day stories that something as simple as many so it’s overlooks. I was one thing that I think that is really critical that we address here is that the health care person and the financial power of attorney do not have to be the same person and and I think that’s something that we could talk a little bit about today, because sometimes people think they have to be the same person. They don’t. I often if a family, multiple people in a family, and they’re working together and on the same page and recognize what the responsibilities are in terms of executing mom or dad’s wishes and their desires. I really recommend having two different powers attorney, a financial and a medical, because it is overwhelming. That doesn’t work for all stories. Sometimes it’s good for one person to have everything. You have to look at your own situation. The benefits of having one person be a power of attorney for financial and medical is that that person knows the whole picture. They know everything that’s going on with that person in terms of what their healthcare needs are and what if their financial picture if they need care outside of their home. And so I’m I’m going with that. I’m on board with that. Is Long as people are working as a team. And my own personal experience, I had all the responsibility and no authority. That didn’t work. No, that would not so. And, like you said, every situation is different and certainly the fact that I was going to see my mother every day are, you know, on every week, several times of a week, the financial part power of returning with somebody, basically, that wouldn’t say no to her. You know, I was somebody that, you know, would just and I get it, it was her money, but on the same time, my mother had dementia. She was buying like encyclopedias when we had the Internet, you know. I mean she wasn’t equating, she’s buying encyclopedias for her grandchildren. That she didn’t need to do right. But but again, those are things that when you see the day to day things happening and what it what’s going on, there’s a lot of things to take a look at to figure out, you know, how do we best serve now? Am I the best money manager? Heck no, but ultimately my mom made the change and she made me financial power of attorney and you know, I had responsibilities that I had to uphold and when I learned about the response stability of having a power of attorney. You know, I was your health care directors, yes, but I wanted to make sure that you know I understood. I didn’t understand all of the ramifications needally on. What does that mean when you’re a financial power returney? So explain to us, our listeners, definite when does that really mean? When Your Power Returney? So you’re the person where you’re not financially responsible for someone’s deck. You’re not financial responsible for any of the services that are encouraged or had been incurred and not paid for it. So it doesn’t been your personal assets. But what it does is it says that you are going to be prudent and fiduciary to the state of your loved one. That says I’m going to uphold the desires of the person who owns that of state right. And so you are the person that people go to. You know, if there is a copay for met medicine, the pharmacy goes to you and says, how do we get this paid? Oh, I thought there was a credit card on file and that it just the copay. Went to the credit card and I can pay there. The you know the Viel Bill. Well, that credit card last it’s expired, it’s not good anymore, and so now you have to scramble and figure out how do I get a new credit card at the pharmacy? That’s that’s a little detail. And what a power of attorney does. So, and I think to when when you’re saying this, it’s like one of the things that that people don’t realize, either through through having a power of attorney, is the fact that you you’re not able to do anything financially with that loved one. And and here when you’re talking about it, it’s, for example, this is something that I’ve learned from Stephen Waltart, which is in a he’s an attorney. A lot of people will tell me, Oh, well, I just added my kids to my check and account. Right. It makes me cringe because what I do know is that can expose you to financial liability at that point because you’re a CO owner of an account and that brings you lie of financial liability. So one of the things that the power of attorney does is it protects both parties, and I think that’s something that’s really, really key. You know, you never, ever ever want to just add somebody to your bank account unless they have that document. That’s the difference. So yeah, there’s a lot of little nuances and I certainly, again, I’m not a financial planner, I’m not an attorney now, so I do know enough to know that this is a conversation that you should really have with someone. I’m also would not do a financial attorney, excuse me, as power of attorney for finances from the drug store paper work. I would not do it from off the Internet. I would not do it by yourself. There are too many ran for caps that can come into play. Whether you’ve got two nickels to rub together in your estate or five thousand nickels, it doesn’t matter exactly. You may exactly a sect it and talk to an attorney and to do those two documents is someplace. I mean I have heard about two hundred for those two that I can hear Fivezero dollars. So it really just depends upon the complexity of the financial picture and what is needed in that in the medical realm as well. The most important thing, though, in all of this is to be sure that you know who the players are when those people are are assigned by the estate owner or by the person that you’re the power of attorney for. I want to paint this a little picture here. Think of all of the second marriages that we have and blended families. Wow, sometimes that can really be a bugaboo because there’s different kids for Mom and dad and now we’re like, does this all come together, because there’s really a lot of emotional charge situations. Sometimes there can be financial babbles, that can be differences. I’ve had right now, a differences in opinions about having a vaccination or not having a vaccination for color or so all of those things need to really be talked about. Don’t let the elephant in the room stop you from being proactive. You will think yourself when and if that emergency happens down the road, or just the event of a natural death, right having things in place. It’s not often that we die in our sleep any longer. We have really good medical technology and so sometimes there are decisions that have to be made even to get to our last breath. Or that’s the medical attorney or medical power of attorney that does that. The financial person, let me talk about that again. The financial person really has has to do a lot of juggling between usually family and looking at a family picture and looking at the needs of that loved one, and sometimes it’s a very hard place to be right in terms of how assets are being used. And so having a conversation about what are those assets, whose assets are those in the estate and how are they to be used? Mom and dad might say, I really want to have some inheritance to leave all of my kids, and the kids say it’s your money, we want you to be well taking care of have that conversation and it’s that generation very common. It’s I and and, which blows my mind because I don’t think it’s as important to to that, you know, to the sons and daughters. It’s not us, to those that are doing well. But I I have noticed that with with the you know, the greatest generation. It is, Yep, it is. So Pinnacle senior placements is here to help you and you can reach us at eight hundred and fifty five, seven, thirty four, one thousand five hundred, or always at our website, whichause pinnacle senior Placementcom and everyone, dappy, will be right back right after this. The preceding podcast was provided by pinnacles senior placements, LLC and answers for elders. Radio. To contact pinnacles senior placements, go to Pinnacle Senior Placementscom