Family Member’s Home or an Adult Home? Part 1, with Daphne Davis

*The following is the output of transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors.

The following podcast is provided by pinnacles senior placements LLC and answers for elders radio, and welcome everyone to answers for elders radio. And here we are in a brand new year and brand new energy, as we are talking today with one of our very, very favorite people in the world, and that is Daphne Davis from Pinnacle senior placements. And welcome back and this brand new year, daphnee. This is your first weekend back. It is. It is as exciting to be in two thousand and twenty one. It is and, and you know certainly well, most of us are saying goodbye to two thousand and twenty with a Great Sigh of release, as we’ve been through and there’s a lot of positive things happening, but also, I’m sure, some changes with how our families are dealing with transitions, and certainly you have, you are our transition expert, where you’re talking and two families every day about you know, how do I best take care of my loved one in the you know, shadow of a pandemic that we’ve just had, an all different types of scenarios that are happening, as well as new forms of care and certainly we would love to kind of do a little touch base with you on you know, what does that look like for families today? Well, one of the things that is coming up in conversation a lot for me these last few weeks, and I it’s probably had something to come about off of the holidays, but it’s should be considered having my parents, or my mom or dad move into my home, into the daughters of the son’s home. That comes up a lot and it does fall right on, you know, in our time of covid nineteen and having caution about that and can I visit my parents or not? So there’s a lot of things going on, but I thought it might be good to kind of highlight things to talk about with your parents, with other people in your family. What things do you consider when even thinking about having a loved one move into your home? So I’d like to kind of think about that a little bit. And just so that you all know, it’s almost one in five Americans will have to broach this subject or some kind of reality comes close to them in terms of caring for your elderly parents. That’s a lot. One in five Americans will have to think about this and it’s got some real ramifications to our structure of life. So it’s like first things to think about is what kind of Care Dois your aging parent need at home and can you provide I that? Is it just physical care? Is it mental care, emotional care, spiritual care? Think about you know, are they relatively healthy and independent, or are they going to need your help to actually move them from a real stair to the lazy boy? Just the basics, and I know that the things that people think about right away, but also men, as you think about that, how long and how available can you be for that care? Are you working full time? Is your spouse available, or someone they’re available to help you provide care? Are Your children going to be affected by this? Would someone need to give up their space in the house? Would I mean things just kind of real earthis logistical things to think about. I know in the conversations that I’ve had with families in the last few weeks their hearts are just to len and this is, as we have talked about for a long time since then. This is all very emotionally charged and sometimes as the feelings of guilt that come in right now, a big one is who I be able to see my mom if she doesn’t live in her own house or with me. And in light of now I’ll getting a vaccine available in the state of Washington anyway for people over the age of sixty five. I believe that soon, I’m soon as relative of right, you think we’re going to see some some listening up of visitation. The smaller the environment of care, the easier it is to have flexibility in making the visits happen, and so, you know, at your own home, obviously it’s very easy. If we were to consider an adult family home, we’ve got, you know, regulations that have to be upheld and cautionary things taking place, but there might be a little more flexibility there than a building of a hundred people. Lots to think about, there is. And certainly when you talk about the emotional charge of it all, you know, I think people are just so worn out with the pandemic and their worn out with with all of the rules and and, you know, feeling like we’re not getting anymore head because we feel like, you know, it’s just a losing battle. I that’s kind of what I’m I’m getting from families just that feeling of fatigue, concerned about their parents still if they’re living alone, still at home, and seeing a decline a little bit and just really some uncertainty about the future and and having to make decisions but still wanting to honor that relationship. It’s a delicate, you know, situation and certainly, you know, bringing someone in like you that can help kind of revitalize a new path, I think is so important, especially now I’m in a New Year. A lot of families have been together over the holidays. They’ve been able to see mom or dad, even if it’s through a glass window or per se or something like that, but there is that renewed sense of conversations. I think that are happening right now. At least that’s what I’m seeing. Is that? Is that what you’re finding as well? I I’m finding it too, or would just some of it is just resign I think also is that this is the form of communication I have with my parent right now and and I’m going to make the best of it. And so I think some of that comes with the new year just kind of like okay, on with the new here we go. I’m going to, you know, kind of adjust my thinking. Find this overlining and every situations situation. This is what it is, and I think we’re over the shock. We’re definitely in the a weariness, you know, we’re tired, and now it’s like, how can we still work with covid and not just keep spiraling down with weariness and uncertainty? But now it’s like, okay, this is where we’re at. Let’s make the best of it, and we know how to do that. Now we know how to have visits over, you know, skype or facetime or zoom. We know how there, you know, put the stamp on the envelope again, to have a surprise in the middle. I mean the things that we’ve learned that are effective. So I think emotionally, you’re right that we do need to up that conversation, you know, on this note, and I do want to, you know, talk about in the next section, such sections, excuse me, about more things to consider about your home. But while we’re talking about, you know, visits, one thing I hadn’t even considered. I mean it was just like kind of an all highs on the on the Internet, and I just looked up home workout sessions and then I saw upon work out for seniors with videos on the thing on your computer and that you can do those with your parent. So it’s another time that you could be doing the quote fit and be fit or whatever it is, but have another purposeful engagement if you’re getting tired of just how is your day, mom and well, it was the same. A jestice, but hapaactly that you can do together. So that was an idea that jumped into my life in the last week and I thought I got to remember to share this with everybody because I do think it would be a win win situation. So anyway, kind note along those yeah lines that when you were talking going ahead to them. Oh absolutely. And, like you said, in so many things that we think about as families we think about, oh well, it’ll just be easier if we move her mom or down in, but we may not consider all the circumstances that have to be addressed. And certainly with within what you’re talking about today, I hope that we can spend this hour just talking about all the considerations of, you know, what are the conversations we need to be having as families? You know, how do we best serve our individual needs, not only for you know, a senior part but also fits family members that are involved in care and I love that we’re really talking about this topic today. Well, of you bring up with some good points in terms of having the guessions. I mean, one of the things when you’re considering having your elderly parents live with you is make sure that you have conversation with everyone in your family. I mean, how does that affect each person? You know, everyone has a routine in their in their life. Does this mean that now, you know, you have a four year old, five year old, you know, in your home and they have to think about even more not having the Legos on the floor? Is that going to cause stress? Is that going to cause your four or five year old stress? Is it going to be a plain loose is constantly worried that mom might stick step on a Lego? I mean, think about the logistics of the move. I mean, is your spouse supportive? Do they have a good relationship with your parents? I mean, what is your relationship with the parents? So we’re talking about physicalness, emotional things that are going to be going on and the practicality, and there’s so many things. Practicality of expenses, you know, on average, General’s financial says that it’s about ten to eleven thousand dollars that people pay out of pocket, without even thinking about anything, per year for the care of someone in their home. There’s a lot of money, you know, and it’s very, very your Livy to do. Yeah, very, very much. So we’re going to spend this our talking about this issue. But in closing out this segment, tell us a little bit about just about pinnacle senior placements and how they can reach pinnacle senior placements. Of Best Place to go to get general information about us is that our website. That can encourage all of you to go to our website at Pinnacle Senior Placementscom and you can see some of our leadership team there, you can see the other advisors that you potentially would work with, you can listen to past podcasts that are our website. Go there and find out. Let’s all there and certainly give feedback if there’s something missing that you want. But you can also call us at eight hundred and fifty five, seven three fourer, one thousand fifteen hundred. Again, that is eight hundred and fifty five, seven hundred, thirty four fifteen hundreds, and you can get a hold of me directly and no time at all. Well, we’re excited to explore this conversation with you today and to everyone who’s listening. Definitely will be right back right after this. The preceding podcast was provided by pinnacles senior placements LLC and answers for elders radio. To contact pinnacles senior placements, go to Pinnacle Senior Placementscom.