Finding Hope During COVID-19 in June 2020, Part 2 with Daphne Davis

*The following is the output of transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors.

The following podcast is provided by pinnacles senior placements LLC and answers for elders radio. And Welcome back everyone to answers for elders radio and I am back again here with Daphne Davis from Pinnacle Senior placements and Daff me, you’re giving such an amazing information. We talked a little bit about virtual tours and what happens and you know, there’s so many things that go into the conversation, but I think one of the things that I’m hearing, and I’m sure you’re likely hearing, is there’s a lot of people because so many senior communities have been on lockdown for so long. What you know, people think that there’s no help available and that’s just absolutely not true and you’re helping families all over puget sound right now. So tell us a little bit about what’s going on in that realm and how there is help. Well, you’ve hit the nail on the head. I think this has been the most stressful time for me to do my dad and seven years, and it’s because everyone, every family, is having some kind of prices in their family. And so I really want to implore to our people that now, more than ever, is the time to reach out for some kind of help, whether it be your pastor your rabbi, priest, best friend, me, any buddy. Just reach out. Do not do this alone. In terms of and I’m going to say this kind of calloust. Don’t make up information, get real information. Just because you hear something from a friend or hear it on the radio or the news or something, or read it on in the Internet, confirm the information, because right now there is a lot of help. And I want to highlight one area that’s come up a lot, and that’s for our elders who are suffering with the disease of dementia, and it has been a really hard time right now, and I want to, you know, specifically talk to the families that are embarking on this disease and it’s new or things have changed in the home. Mom and dad live at home and one of them, you know, is having a disease process that’s advancing and it’s happening a lot because people are isolated and so there isn’t the time to be stimulated by the mechanisms, to be stimulated by outside influences, and so I think we are seeing an advancement in dementia disease processes right now. But what I want you to hear from me is all hall and tell us the story, tell us what’s going on, because there are ways of helping you. Sometimes it might be appropriate to have in home care come in for you know, and I at this point think that you should have daily in home care and get into a routine and pick the same time of day, the most challenging time of day, but the time when the spouse isn’t able to physically help someone. Maybe that’s in the morning, maybe it’s in the mid afternoon when there might be some Sundowning, but get some help. Just as a reminder, in home care has usually a minimum of three or four hours per day, and so that’s also time that that in home care person could help the whole household. was maybe some lighthousekeeping, maybe it’s changing the sheets on the bed, but but being creative and thinking outside the box. And this is not the time to be superman or superwoman. This is the time to say I deserve some support and in getting support I am going to keep my independence longer. Where and you insist on doing things yourself, that’s when you push your body. That’s when accidents happened, because you might be a little more tired or you’re trying to get more things done. But that’s the time to ask for help, because you will stay independent longer the more support you have. So don’t let support scare you. That’s one woman scenario. Another scenario is the you know, the spouses, and this is happening a lot right now. This is I’m going to focus on this. The spouses just don’t know how to talk to each other during a disease process that does not allow for any logic, or very little log point. Yet so somebody is going to get hooked in an argument because you’re used to your spouse saying things that are logical or tracking information or being able to process cause and effect. Well, now, as a disease process advances, those skills can go away or be intermittent. And now the surviving spouse, the spouse that’s, you know, still still not having a disease process. That person gets frustrated and, as I say, get hooked into an argument. But what, Matt, happens? That’s when we get behaviors from the other person. And I would just think too, that you know, one of the things that happens, especially in early stages of dementia, is perspective is different and a lot of times there might be a trigger or something like that, or logic when you’re saying when they’re when there’s defying logic, when the fear factor steps in of I don’t know what’s going on, or why can I go out and why can I go to my favorite restaurant? You know that I go have copy every Friday on or whatever those things are. It triggers a lot of fear of the unknown, like what’s happening and and I and I know that there’s a lot of times when beer can escalate dementia even more so. And they’re in lies the real as reassurance specter of making sure that families are comforted. And one of the Nice things about home carry is is it can eliminate a lot of that because there’s a reassurance spector that you’re going to be okay and having a professional come in, you know, to your home to help you is really, I think, an important piece of that. It is I want to talk a little bit about the covid piece for the in home care and at is that you can be specific to the the company that you’ve chosen to work with, which, by the way, I’m happy to share with you my twenty years of vetting companies and give you suggestions if you’d like. But one thing that you can be sure about is tell them I want as few caregivers as possible coming into my home. You can request specific things that you want in a caregiver. I know one of the concerns that cuts come up a lot with my family’s as well. If this caregivers coming into my home, how does that protect me from wherever that caregiver has been in the community? Are they going to other people’s houses? Are they going too large us work and the Nursing Home? Are they in a hospital? You know and ask those questions. Everybody has an absolutely miss a different litmess of where they feel comfortable, and so ask the questions more than ever right now, not being afraid to ask questions. Jos Add us just that we are talking again to Daphne Davis from pinnacles senior placements and Dafne, you have been such a wealth so far. Tell us a little bit. Let’s just ground us back. We talked a little bit about it last segment, but how you help the family in these scenarios. Right now, you’re obviously doing virtually correct yes, all virtually. I don’t meet with families yet. I am a person who has decided to not add to the complication of potentially starting of covid nineteen, and so I do everything virtually and I do use zoom platform a lot, and so you can still see my face. It’s very easy. I just send out email to you and let you know. Click on this and this is how we’all open it up, and this is the button you push so you can hear me, and this is the button so you can see me. I’ll walk through all of it, but I actually listen to your story. I listen to what’s going on and then, from my professional experience and sometimes personal, I will share with you some potential options and then we walk down that journey. As much as you want to, you are the driving point here either, the listener, as much as you want me to assist you, I’m here well and then, and this is a new way of being for you, because you’ve always been one that drives out to the family. But you know, it also gives you a lot of capacity to help in a what little bit wider reach, because now you can. I know that you’re helping families up as Kadda county right now, and so those he has. That obviously is is an advantage to our families that are throughout western Washington that they can reach out to you and and get some help and help. You know, you can coach them and and provide them services. And of course the great thing about it is is that your services are absolutely free. That’s right. That’s right. I’m paid by communities of care and I work with every community in the state of Washington and I’m paid like a Wuter onetime commission there’s never a time that you write pinnacle. Senior bracement’s a check ever, right, and that’s what’s really important. And so you know, for what’s going on right now with Demento. We have just about, maybe about two minutes, three minutes left in the segment. Tell me a little bit about you know, what are some key chips that you have right now? So in terms of being if you’re in the story that we’re talking about, because I hope we can talk about a few other scenarios, but the story of talking about with thouses in the home, I really recommend taking a deep breath before you launch into a yeah. But so, yeah, just say you know, wife is wanting to do, you know, go for the walk that she’s looked one for all the time. But you, the husband, have noticed that she doesn’t always come back and she needs somebody with her, and so she’s just standing on her head turn and purple saying I can go on this walk by myself. Well, husband, you say, Oh, I know, honey, you can do that and just let her walk out and then you just be on the deck while she’s swiddling around there, because she’s probably going to see a shiny object and, you know, play with that a little bit, but not insist on going on the walk with her. This is just an example. But then before you know it, you’re on the walk with her and it wasn’t a fight, it was just something that happened, that evolved something that’s a little more consequential or’s you know, yes, I need to help you in the bathroom because I don’t want you to fall. You know, it’s you’re not being able to do everything in the bathroom by yourself. So that’s where I would say, you know, once again, don’t get in the argument, don’t say that what? Yeah, you used to be able to or well, sometimes you can. Well, I can right now. You know the argument. Everybody’s been there. Instead, just let it unfold. Stand outside the bathroom. You have discernment of the Shoe Wobbly Today. Did she just have some food? Once your medication, at the end of the routine of medication, whatever it is, you be the detective, you be the Sherlock Sames and not make your spouse do that. And then you’re right there and before you know it she’s going to see, yes, I need some help, because that’s just what’s going to happen, and then you, genter, say, oh honey, I’ll help you with this. Don’t get up in the argument. Well, push it. In our next segment we are going to talk a little bit more in detail about these kind of tips, because I think as we’re moving into things, we’re going to talk about humanity and how we can really bring humanity into our families through this process, and so daphne will be back right after this. The preceding podcast was provided by pinnacles senior placements LLC and answers for elders radio. To contact pinnacles senior placements, go to Pinnacle Senior Placementscom