Daphne Davis at Pinnacle Senior Placements provides a snapshot of the status of senior care regarding COVID-19. We all crave other connections now, but we need to be mindful of how families are coming together. Here are some success stories.
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*The following is the output of transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors.
The following podcast is provided by pinnacles senior placements LLC and answers for elders radio. And Welcome back to everyone to answers for elders radio. And we are here with Daphne Davis from Pinnacle senior placements. And Daphne, you’re giving us such amazing information about dementia and and families in the stories that really there is care available, and so you know what you know. You’re sharing a little bit about conflicts and I know that those even happen. Like you know, sometimes my husband is really the only human that I’ve been seeing besides see, you know, if I go to the grocery store something like that. But, and I’m telling you, we’re getting on each other’s nerves. It’s like the other day it’s like well, it’s like seriously, I think we all crave for connection right now and and you know, understanding that piece, it’s like there’s going to come a time where a lot of us are feeling the need to just, you know, throw these rules out the window and you know, and and yet we’re seeing it up chick and covid night team, where they have opened up places. So it’s not over and it’s certainly, you know, we do need to be mindful of, you know, what we’re doing and who were, you know who we’re connecting with and how we’re doing it. And so how are you finding how families are kind of starting to, you know, come together like this or, you know, solve these issues? Well, I heard some very encouraging stories recently and one was a gentleman had recently been moved to a large memory care community and he really enjoys his grandchildren and great grandchildren and the fit the facility itself had offered to set up some face time and he has a tablet and so they set it all up, but then the grand daughter and her daughter are able to face time with GRANDPA and that is who wonderful joy. Yes, I mean it’s more and more communities are doing that. They’re realizing how important the connection is. And this is a person was very advanced dementia and so he can’t even hold the tablet properly to be able to see. So the camera gets off kilter and everything, but the caregivers there. That’s a part of the care plan now, and so if you have someone in a community discuss the care plan and have that altered to make that a part of their one on one time with a caregiver. I also and seeing people that I know this is antiquated, but the male is really important. I have to tell you I just got a thank you card for something that I did for somebody at Church and I was like wow, somebody a card and it was so nice. I mean I got something other than junk male in the mail. So, you know, and harping on that, but do it, and especially for that too, older generation, because they don’t get email it. You know, I remember my mom used to say even to type A letter out was in personal it that, yeah, I needed to learn my cursive writing to be a good person. You know, now I don’t know when I have actually written a note, as terrible as it seems, because I’m so technology oriented. But the more and more that I’ve, you know, evolved in my career and worked with the public and things like that, I realize that I’m the exception in my even my age group, and I’m in the mid my mid six S. it’s like it’s just more that people, you know, step up and write a note or, you know, do some things. But I think also this this whole covid nineteen thing has been a blessing because our seniors have been more and you introduced to things like zoom and things like, you know, facetime and think that they never would have had otherwise. So, yeah, it’s a good thing. I want to tell another story that’s kind of heartbreaking, but I want to tell you the story for the outcome, and this is where another person with dementia has been isolated and he had moved into a community one week and literally a week later his wife had passed away and of the covid restrictions, no visitation, fourteen day isolation, and this gentleman’s dementia was so advanced that the family did not even know how to tell him this. Well, yeah, transition to a new environment. This gentleman had a lot of behaviors that were not typical for him. toldly, to be expected when we change environments and we get through the transition time. Well, this family reached out to me and they had no idea what they could couldn’t do. The community that he lived in was, you know, definitely staying to their rules that the operation had set. But I was able to advocate as a professional to professional. That said, these are some suggestions I have and how we can help this gentleman get through this, this transition that he also is feeling abandoned by his wife. He’s been looking for his wife has passed away and he needs to know, but the family could not do that over the telephone or facetime, which I lately completely support. Well, with the help of me and any professional that you reach out to, should be able to advocate in a way that we came to an agreement of how we can make this work, and so we were able to figure out how can the daughters visit this gentleman there? There is no covid in the building and they wanted him to stay that way. But we went extra precautionaries and, you know, measures, set the parameters of what everybody’s expectation was and we were able to get to a place where now, a week later, this gentleman is calmer. We’ve been able to have him have information that he doesn’t make up, information in his brain that I remember all the time that his life passed away. No, but it is on his gray matter. He can recall it. We do have to say it again. It’s not the first time he’s heard it and now he actually can say, you know, his wife has passed away and he refers to how and also his mother. At the same time. The important peace in this, though, is his behaviors have gone away, because behaviors in dementia are totally based in fear. All the fear now fear made come out as a food strike, paranoia, anger, combativeness, quietness, depression, it can be any way that it magnifies. You think, babe refusing the baby. Yeah, AH, but that’s the bottom line is reach out to somebody to help you get through the situation that you’re in. As unique as your story is, there is going to be a common thread, that someone is going to know how to help you get through this hard time. The other thing that comes out of that is building, you know, communication, a line of communication between the family and the building, that the professionals of the building. Both sides of that equation, I very stressed right now, and both sides are are frustrated with limitations. Sometimes our fuses can be a little short, we’re a little snappy or not as patient to listen to a whole of the dump to conclusions. I encourage everyone, please get a third party to help you. It’s to call pinnacle does not cost you anything, but it can give you peace of mind. But, more importantly, whoever is in a stressful situation, we can find a solution. It is possible. Just ask for help. And you know, the beauty of talking to somebody like you is is that there’s often times, especially if the senior has beginning stages of dementia, it as an adult child, you’re still going to be resorted to being the child right. They’re not going to tell you things that they’re going to tell you. Definitely, and I see flight time and time and time again. They don’t want to burden their children. They don’t want to. They have all of this, you know you’re talking about gray matter, but they’ve also got all these fuses in their brain that says I’m the parent and you’re the child and I’m not going to be monorable to you and I’m not going to share things with you out of my own fear of looking not like the part right and sipart child relationship is so valuable, and I have said that. How many families that you bring somebody in like Daphne Dafe will come in and they will help to facilitate. You know, she will help to facilitate and she’s going to get information that is so valuable from your parrot, because there isn’t that dynamic that’s already set up, which I think is so valuable. Yeah, you bring up a really good point and when those kinds of conversations are happen with me, I will be bold to say, you know, joe is, it’s something that we can talk with your daughter, Susan, about. that. Is that going to be okay? And sometimes I’ll go I don’t know, and then I’ll point out if your daughter knew about this information, think about how she wouldn’t be so bossy or so concerned about you because she doesn’t know it’s part of you, because it generally right across bossy to the to the parents. That’s just how it is and and I on that myself. No, I’M gonna be a boxy dollar we all because you’re talking about again. We’re going right back to, you know, peeing, people arguing. It’s like we know how to get our buttons pushed and I remembered a tool that I used to use with my mom, and this was just something that I when my mom pushed my buttons, I learned to take a deep breath and take a walk around the block. You know. She was in assisted living or whatever, and I learned it. Say Mom, I’ll be back in a few minutes, and I just would leave and I would go out and I would, you know, sometimes I would be so angry I call a girlfriend or something like that, in vent, but it helped me cope with that process and I think one of the things that happens is is that, because we’re, you know, at each other’s throats in many cases, because we’re confined and we’re dealing with things, I think a lot of times we have to remember, you know, take a deep breath, you know, walk outside, you know, you know, walk around the block and that it’s it’s or something like that, to get yourself red grounded, and I think that’s what’s important. Yeah, it’s there’s so many dynamics that go on once they open up that line of communication and when a parent has divulge some information to me and I have permission to help communicate that to the family, lots of the mysteries go away and all of a sudden we can move forward. So that’s having that third neutral party to be able to help you. I do want to share with everyone that right now things will feel kind of laborious, like making that goal is just so much work because we’re all in kind of survival mode to some degree. And I encourage you. I will take the time, my staff will take the time to be patient and listen. No story is invaluable. I mean they’re you’re all valuable and your story is important. When your situation is important, don’t minimize yourselves. How do we reach you? The best way is directly to my phone, and that phone number is eight five five, seven three four. It’s teen hundred. Eight five, five, seven three four, one thousand fifteen hundred, and you’re also welcome to go to my website at chemical senior Placementscom. And dafne will be back for our last segment. Right up to this, the preceding podcast was provided by pinnacles senior placements LLC and answers for elder radio. To contact pinnacles senior placements, go to Pinnacle Senior Placementscom.
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Founder and CEO of Answers for Elders, Inc., Suzanne Newman proclaims often, “Caring for my mom was the hardest thing I ever have done, but it was also my greatest privilege.” Following a career of over 25 years in sales, media, and marketing management, Suzanne Newman found herself on a 6-year journey caring for her mother. Her trials and tribulations as a family caregiver inspired an impassioned life mission outside of the corporate world to revolutionize the journey that so many other American families also find themselves on. In 2009, she became the founder and CEO of Answers for Elders, Inc., subsequently hosting hundreds of radio segments and podcasts, as well as authoring her first book. Suzanne and Answers for Elders, Inc. have spent 14 years, and counting, committed to helping families and seniors along their caregiving journeys by providing education, resources, and support. Each week on the Answers for Elders podcast, Suzanne is joined by vetted professional experts in over 65 categories including Health & Wellness, Life Changes, Living Options, Money, Law, and more. Suzanne lives in Edmonds, Washington with her husband, Keith, and their two doodle dogs, Whidbey and Skagit.