Dan White at Evergreen Washelli provides an overview of what happens when you go to make arrangements for someone who’s passed away.
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The following podcast is a special presentation of answers for elders featuring evergreen was shelley and welcome to answers for elders radio everyone. I am here with Mr Dan White of Evergreen Wash Shelley. He is the Northwest Territory Manager for Abbey View Memorial Park. Dan, welcome to the program thanks you, Zanne. Glad to be here. You know, we talk a lot about, you know, I you and I talk about grief and death and dying, but you know that there’s these practical things of you know, what all happens when you go to make arrangements for someone that’s passed away? I’m sure that there’s a lot of things that you need to cover and I would like to talk about those today. What what happens when somebody goes to make funeral arrangements? Well, Susan, what happens first is after a loved one is past, then a funeral home or cremation provider is notified, HMM, and they will come and bring your loved one or that person into their care. HMM. At that point in time they’re actually placed into temporary preservation, HMM, until you have the time for a funeral director or the cremation provider will notify the next of Ken, Okay Ay, and schedule for what we call an arrangement. Okay, at that arrangement will be the funeral director. If there will be some permanent placement in a cemetery, you may have a representative there from the cemetery. For us at every greenwash Elley we they are called family service advisers, and so they are there and they represent what happens in the cemetery. Okay. So the major things that have to happen at that arrangement. Number one is going to be filling out the information which goes on the death certificate. Okay, okay, so that’s one of the main things that the funeral director is responsible for gathering that information. We validate that information, then we can now file that with the county and here in King County when someone does die, then the King County Medical Examiners has a death certificate review. So they will review that certificate to make sure that it passed muster and then they can give the go ahead for either a burial permit to be be granted or for a cremation to be able to got a place. Got It so that’s the very base. That base sex basic the and no matter what happens, I’m assuming, what what route you choose, that has to happen in every single death. I’m correct. That is absolutely correct, because that is then filed with the county after the final disposition of of the person has occurred, whether it’s a burial or whether it’s a cremation. Wow, wow, now, and usually the cause of death is done by a doctor. Is that correct? So that is correct. So if if there’s a medical examiner involved, let’s say mom or Dad die at home, what happens? How do you get a doctor’s right off of cause of death or what happens in that? Is that done through hospice or how’s it done? It depends, but bottom line it is done through an electronic electronic system which is in place now, and so the doctor, or whoever the reporting doctor is, is emailed. We email them the death certificate to have them sign off on there. Okay, so that’s what happened. So half of it is from the doctor and the cause of death. They sign off. The other half is the information about the person who has passed and that signed off by the funeral director. Got It. So so really, which is interesting. Obviously there’s a lot of red tape that has to happen before you can even get to personal wishes. Then at that point that you know. I’m assuming. Well, that’s the basis. That’s usually what we what. The funeral director will go ahead and collect that information first. So now that’s out of the way. Okay. Now the discussion starts to be what arrangements do you want to have? If there was preplanned, then it’s a matter of just simply walking back through what mom and dad or husband or wife had already planned already earlier. Already have it and then you discuss with the next of kin. But if that hasn’t been done, then, for we first need to decide if there’s going to be a viewing, because regardless if there’s a cremation or it’s a full body burial, you can still have a viewing. You can have a viewing, you can have an open casket, but that has to be addressed and that is a personal or religious belief right for as how you want that service to to unfold. Okay, okay. So if there is going to be a public viewing, then embalming will be required. Right, okay, a lot of different services based on religion. The old way used to be have a couple days of viewing, then you’d go ahead and have the service the following day and then you to go ahead and have the final committal at the cemetery and then you go and have a repast or celebration. That all changes in today’s society, because that interesting. We have people that will do a service and then go ahead and have the repast immediately following the service and then the family may be the only people that go to the final committal and they may do that afterwards. You know, that’s recently I just attended a funeral exactly that way. They had a big service at the church, then they and the say and the fellowship all of the church. They had a, you know, a reception right and then about. It was a military that man was a veteran and then all of a sudden the family left and they did the final committal. So That’s interesting that you just said that, because that that things have changed. You know, it’s now it’s all about celebrating the life and not just simply marking the death like yeah. So yeah, there is that. So other things that need to be considered at that arrangement. Will the funeral home be supplying flowers? WILL WE BE SUPPLYING PRINTED MATERIALS? MMM, how is the service going to go? As they’re going to be a celebrant or an efficient, a pastor, a priest that will be leading the service? Will they’ll be time for stories to be told? Will you be playing a DVD with pictures? Will there be Song Sung? Will you have a someone on a musical instrument? A lot of times that some of our committals and such. We have bagpipers that come to play. I Love Bank for the veterans. A lot of times they will provide for someone to come play taps. But now there is an organization which is called buglers across America for veterans that you can contact them. It is free and they will send a live bugler that will come and that’s wonderful. So those are the kinds of things. Then you get down to what is the loved one going to be dressed? Are they going to be dressed? Are there depending on the different culture, sometimes they have different requirements as far as dressing someone who has passed. So you have those things that have to be considered. So there are lots and lots of different decisions that have and you know, you think about that, I bet, I bet ninety nine percent of those, even if they have preplanned their burial, they never talked about what I want you to dress me in. So that’s a good conversation to have. Yesterday I wouldn’t have the first clue about my loved ones what they’d want. Well so, and it’s always good to ask because it needs any anything from minimal to a full blown suit, socks and shoes. It really is just, yeah, it’s up to you, it’s up to the family and hopefully, if you had that that discussion prior to them passing, they express their wishes. So we are talking here today with Mr Dan White of evergreenwash shelley. He is the Northwest Territorian manager of Abbey View Memorial Park and we are talking today about funeral arrangements and what all is involved. And Dan, this is really fascinating. Of all the things that are covered, and I can’t imagine. You know, when people are coming to you and grief, this is kind of an overwhelming thing to have to deal with. It is and probably a couple of instances and what I recommend is take time you don’t have to make the arrangement the day following the the passing or the death. Sometimes that’s very overwhelming. I’ve had families who have come in thought that they could go ahead and get through the arrangement and we’ve just asked them to go home and let’s reschedule for another day because it can be. It can be very devastating. It. I can only imagine the first especially the first twenty four hours. And I know even today with you know few funeral planners like yourself, there’s things that you guys do out there, like I just read, not to our saw and not too long ago on social media, that there’s actually funeral homes that have therapy dogs on stuff. You, yes, guys, did you do? You say you guys have one. Well, we have one that we’re training to be a therapy dog out at our lifetime celebrations. Awful. Yeah, I love that. He’s a rescue pup and he is this. He’s very intuitive and what’s his name? Harley? Harley. I love that. I love that does so and you said he’s training, so he’s in he’s a therapy dog in training. Do you still bring him to the celebrations location? Well, yes, he is there. Kevin, Kevin Smith, the funeral director, out at our lifetime celebrations. He takes care of of Harley. But Harley is there every day. And what kind of dog is Harley? He’s kind of a mixed breed. We’re not really sure, UH Huh. But kind of a Labrador, kind of a mix, I don’t know. Some people think he’s well, he’s just Brown and color. I don’t know what he is. Well, I think that’s good. But he’s good. And you know, it’s amazing what therapy animals will do. I know that. When we’re talking about just the side note, you know I do a lot of work with the the seahawks and there’s the Little Pony, the the twelve pony. He’s a therapy animal and I have seen him with dementia patients. So it’s amazing how having a therapy animal be a part of that service, yes, can be so comforting to those. I’ll have to put you in touch with the pony you might want to might have seem available some time for an arrangement. Yeah, that is so. Tell me about embalming. Well, what would you like to know? I mean it’s just a process. Huh. That happens and you have to be a licensed embalmer in this state. So there’s not a lot that I can share with you about that process because I have never witnessed it because I read a license. Did Palmer? No. So No, you’re in the other side of the hot would be a question for one of our license that will stay and I do know that when it is required, and that’s it’s a health issue. So it is required for when you’re having a public viewing. We also required if your final and Tument is going to be in above ground mausoleum, go ahead. It’s when you need one of the options or if we are going to be placing you, the loved one, the deceased, on a on a plane to travel across the state lines in a plane. Then again a health issue and requires the embalming. Got It. Got It. Yeah. Well, Dan, this has been such a valuable conversation. I am so glad that you’ve come here and talked about this. I’m how do we reach you? Well, you can reach me at Abbe viw memorial park by calling for to five four eight three hundred and five, five five. You can reach me by email, by emailing me at d white at Wash Shelleycom or you can find us on facebook at Abbey View Memorial Park. Wonderful, Dan, thanks again for being on the program thanks, then, always a pleasure. This has been a special presentation of answers for elder is featuring evergreen. Was Shelley for more information about evergreen? Was Shelley. Their website is was shelleycom. That’s WA SHALL ICOM
Suzanne Newman, host of the Answers for Elders radio show and podcast, proclaims often, “Caring for my mom was the hardest thing I ever have done, but it was also my greatest privilege.” Following a career of over 25 years in sales, media, and marketing management, Suzanne embarked on a 6-year-journey caring for her mother. Her trials and tribulations as a family caregiver inspired an impassioned life mission outside of the corporate world to revolutionize the journey that so many other American families also find themselves on. Answers for Elders provides education, help, and support to families, caregivers, and seniors across the country who are experiencing their own unique journey within the complicated world of Eldercare. Each week, Suzanne is joined by vetted professional experts in over 65 categories including health & wellness, life changes, living options, money, law, and more. Suzanne lives in Edmonds, Washington with her husband, Keith, and their two doodle dogs, Whidbey and Skagit.