Preparing for Senior Care, Part 4: There Are Solutions, with Daphne Davis

*The following is the output of transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors.

The following podcast is provided by pinnacles senior placements LLC and answers for elders radio. And Welcome back to everyone to answers for elders radio. And we are here. This hour has flown by, Dephne, as it always does when we have definitely Davis for pinnacles senior placements here with us. And you know we’ve had all these conversations, but I want to start this segment first with talking a little bit about you know, you’re the ultimate solution person for these four families out there. They are having questions and I would love to, before we go in to finish off this our share with families how you help them. I think this is really important. Well, we are a very hands on company and our family advisors will walk through this journey based on what your story is. One of the things that we really focus on is the uniqueness of each family. So we adjust to where your family is. We help people who are you know, I’m making this phone called Daspy just because I think this might have been coming. Maybe it’s a year down that. You know, my mom might need to have some additional support, but can to help me figure out what should I be doing now to prepare for a year from now. If we can have that conversation, we can have a conversation that that says mom just had an accident. She’s at the Rehab now recovering from hip surgery. She can’t go home anymore. We can’t care for her at home. We’ve thought about in home care, but not sure that’s going to be a good solution long term. What are our options? We talk about that way. We talked about, you know, our family is just not getting along together and my mom and said really need help. I’m the one who’s there, you know, every single week, every other day, but but, as will be, sibling doesn’t see it. We help on that level. We help on a level that says, how do we plan financially for this? I don’t even know who to talk to, because pinnacle senior placements functions as an information post. We’re a place that you can go. After twenty one years of doing this job, I sure sure better have some resources for you. If I can’t help you directly, at least I may have some betted resources that I trust and that you at least can can say. Well, one person trust is this company. I’m going to try it out myself. So we act as a resource for some families. Most often assert with a simple phone call during covid we then moved to a zoom conversation so that we can see each other, we can kind of get a sense of who we are. Very often then it will move to including the loved one. That conversation is usually do done via zoom also and it’s very short, usually ten, twenty, thirty minutes at the most. For us at Pinnacle to get a sense of who you’re your loved one is beyond a piece of paper. We are all whole right, functioning, productive citizens, human beings that are more than just a list of symptoms or personality traits. We want to know who your loved one is so that that’s that happens. We then, let’s say you’re in a place that we do need to discover highest values and act quickly to keep someone safe, and so we go through a process of discovering what things are most important to your family, the highest values, and then, you know, then be something like my mom needs a private room, she needs to have, you know, four o clock coffee, clutch, you know, whatever it is. We figure out what are the things that are important. We do research and we, based on your highest values, use our data bank and all of our experience between the seven of us to define just the right places that we think might work, and then we do work together. You’d think of the question is to ask that a family might not even think about if they were going to look out for resources on their own. They wouldn’t think of asking, well, wow, my mom has to have a gluten free diet, you know, or you know I have. I know mom doesn’t like spicy food or anything like that. Can those things, you know, be part of that conversation? And absolutely we can. And you know the questions that need to be addressed, which I think is so valuable area cake. Sure that you need through right choice. Yes, that’s very important. I mean we just discovered with another family that mom is very social, but she likes small groups. She feels overwhelmed with having, you know, twenty five people in a room. She wants to have smaller groups. Yes, she’s social, but we need to find a social outlet for her that’s in a smaller environment or with a smaller number of people. You just don’t know what to think about until you’ve gone through this journey and no, I should you this is the first time for a lot of our families to walk through this journey, and so we’re here to help you and as we tour into communities via zoom again, we will help you discover the things that fit and don’t fit in your family’s pious values and checklist. So we help for that honesty piece also. Then, after someone’s moves, we will follow through with you and help you and your loved one get through this time of transitions. And most often that’s about conversations and communicating and and many actions. And so we help our family be able to know what can they expect and and that can’t we expect, and you know, I think that in itself is so valuable. I mean, how often do I think about my experience when I was trying to help my mom and I had no idea what to do, and I remember going into communities and feeling the pressure that I had to find her a place to live, but that I walk into these communities and to me they were all the same because I didn’t understand what the differences were. And, you know, to have a person that would be with me that would help me recognize, oh these things are important to your mom. This is why we’re looking at this community, because they will match, you know, her values in these ways. This helps you know clear through the clutter and it helps you family narrow in on what’s most important and what’s going to make mom or dad the most happy in the situations. That’s exactly right and that is the ultimate goal. How can we help someone transition the smoothest and quickest? US’ll see over my twenty one years of doing this job, people will transition. Just how graceful will be? Will it be painting? Will be at a short transition? Will it feel natural? My goal is to have it feel as natural as possible and happen as quickly as possible, and that means the US to pay attention to the details. As a general consumer, it is my opinion that you would have no way of knowing the little details unless you had a concept of what do I even ask? Can you be a question? Is this a variable in the community of care and in each type of community care, memories are system living, independent living, adult family homes? What but are the norms? What can I expect and what are the values of looking at each one of those, those communities for our story. Somebody might say that it fits for your story based on an opinion. Here at Pinnacle we try very, very hard to listen to the specifics of your journey and I think also with your professional expertise, with say mom has beginning stages of Alzheimer’s dementia, to not ready for memory care per se, but you’re going to understand what your professional expertise that you probably don’t want to put her in a big community if somebody has dementia, because in midpaces that can stress them out. It can be way too much, too much stimulus, too much of that. So again you’re having the ability to understand it from a professional viewpoint. Mom might be really sociable today but months for now, that could change. It could be definitely different based on the prog aggression of you know what her care plan might be. That’s exactly right and you bring up a good point here of the considerations of things to think about, and that is how much support will have help your loved one live? And if we don’t have that support, are they stuck in surviving? Because all and families are like, oh, but you know, we want to have mom still make you know her toast in the morning. Well, maybe she’s gotten to the place where making toast in a cup of tea is really stressing her out. And if she has, you know we had units of energy for that day. She just used three to make toast and a cup of tea. Maybe it’s right someone announce make that toast and cup of tea for her so that she can use those three units of energy for something she really enjoys instead of something that she’s like, I’m not sure I remember how to do this. Why is it so difficult? How come I can’t remember? And in the beginning stages of dementia process, those thoughts happen very often and their foreign to family members. Yes, and ultimately it comes right back to the fact of where we started this hour, of understanding that there is a dynamic between I a mother and daughter, or a father and son or whatever. That is about not wanting to be a burden, and there’s also this element of being the daughter and being the son, I will venture to guess, and that of fact. I know that a senior is much more likely to have really candid conversations with a professional like Daphnee then they can’t. Then they will with their own child, they want, they don’t feel like they can share, in many cases, their fears about aging and different things like this, and bring you somebody in like Daphnee that can help guide your family and help through that process. I think is so valuable. I know that you know you’ve had multiple stories on things like that. Yes, it happens quite frequently, and I want to tell our listeners if you are the senior and you are feeling these things like, yeah, she’s Fan’s right, I don’t want to talk to my daughter about this. She’s got so much on her plate. She’s raising her kids, she’s running a job, she’s doing her house old she’s got our marriage. I mean, you know the process. Feel free to call me and if you’re the family number that’s listening here, be confident that I will pull family in, because if you know, if my mom came to me and said, Hey, I talk to this person named Daphne and she can help us figure this out, and you’re going to go who is Daphnee and where did you get that phone number? And so I want to respect the whole process of earning trust, of having openness and transparency with the permission of the senior, of course, but you you can advocate for yourself. If you’re the listener today, you can advocate and it’s safe to call us and just say these are the things that are going on or I’ve been feeling this way, and we can help you ridge that gap to get him back to your son or daughter and in a way that will be simple and so definitely. How do we reach you? You reach us the easiest at Eight, eight hundred and fifty five, seven thirty four fifteen hundred. Let me repeat that as eight hundred and fifty five, seven thirty four fifteen hundred. Or if you’re savvy on the computer, you can reaches a Pinnacle Senior Placementscom. Thank you so much, Jephanie, and to all of our listeners out there, have the conversations and remember to remind mom and dad that they’re not a burden. Say thank you to the care providers that are in your circle. If anybody is out there serving somebody, whether it’s in a health care position or anything like that, we want you to know that we’re grateful for you. And so it’s until next week. Everyone be good to each other. The preceding podcast was provided by pinnacles senior placements, LLC and answers for elder radio. To Contact Pinnacle Senior Placements, Go to Pinnacle Senior Placementscom