Preparing for Transitions Part 3: Downsizing, with Daphne Davis

*The following is the output of transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors.

The following podcast is provided by pinnacles senior placements LLC and answers for elders radio, and welcome back everyone. To answer for elders radio is we have been talking about how to prepare for the eventual transition of a loved one or yourself into a senior living situation. And the month of day is all about senior living and we certainly want to educate you about the different resources out there and we are blessed again to have Daphne Davis with us for this hour from Pinnacle senior placements and, Daphne, thank you so much for all the information that you’ve kind of laid out the ground work. There’s a lot of stuff that has to happen in advance first year and we haven’t even gotten into the logistics of an actual move. We haven’t gotten into the logistics of what kind of medical things do we have to pay attention to? Write? What does the state require for you to make a move? I mean, there’s all kinds of things that we haven’t talked about and so I’d like to start with a scenario that is about you moving from your home and that you are going to be selling your home you’re going to be downsizing, you already know that you need to have these, these delineated piles of this is for my family, this is for good will, this is for the consignment shop, this is for the junk yard, and you may just stop right there and go, I don’t even know how to begin to do this. Family members may go, I live on a state I don’t know how to do this. Family members to say I live, you know, five miles for my mom and dad, but I’ve got my own life and I’m, you know, helping with my grandkids and I’m, you know, having my own life and trying to keep my garden up. You help. I can’t do this. There are people to help. There are people that we can put you in contact with that if you want to have someone come into your home and help you navigate and process. How do I even begin letting some things go? How do I begin identifying what things have value to me? What things do I want to keep? What things do I mourn because nobody else wants them? But then so much to me. Let’s happening a lot, because it is have like the crystal and the China and and antiques and the next generation. They don’t want box stops, which is unbelievable. And I you know, I have my mom’s China and crystal and I love it and I use it, but I’m going like, there’s nobody in my family that wants it, so someday when I die, it’ll probably go to a auction house. So I don’t know, I’m see my hands up. I specifically bring that up because it is a big issue. This is a universal issue. So please feel feel like you’re amongst friends when you’re you know, and I know this sounds stripe, but mourning the loss of things that have build memories for you. It’s normal, but have someone walk through that with you. I mean in my own family I’m the I’m the minimalist, I’m the one who doesn’t want a lot of stuff, and my brother and my sister, to some degree, are the ones who love historic stuff. They want the stuff and I can be a little bit of a bow in the China shop and dismiss their value system because I’m like what, it just takes up space and you’re gonna have to move it when you move again. So those differences within a faith play and so I’ve been able to recognize just the piece of having some grace for other people’s perspective. Sometimes think, yeah, there’s an emotional memory about things like, for example, you know, I was with my mom when she bought her China in Stockholm. You now, so I remember that day. That was a you know, those are memories of my childhood. So when I have that, that’s an emotional attachment and I’m sure that that’s what happens a lot of times with stuff. Yep, that’s exactly right, and those should be honored. I want to talk about you as you’re preparing to think about the next chapter of your life and you’re thinking about selling your home and downsizing. And you know, what do I do with fifteen breaks that I’ve collected over the years that are in the story? You know, the shed for the yard, you know, supplies. We can work through all of that. As you’re getting closer to making this decision and you’ve said yes, you know, let’s just say a husband and wife. Husband and wife has decided that, you know what, the House is too much. We have to, you know, have everybody do the yard work. I don’t want to walk outside to get my mail in the in the rain anymore. I want my mailbox inside. If you’re to that place, I encourage you to reach out to a realtor, a realator who knows about transitions for seniors. That realtor who who is an expert with senior moves, will have resources for you as well. A BIG KIP that I want to give you right now. A lot of people think about moving after their house has sold and I really want you to think about the the pluses and minuses of moving before your house has sold. Now let’s just talk about in the distincts. Here you’re, you know, storting through your things and you’re figuring out what you’re going to go and move with you and what’s not going to move with you. And at the same time you’ve put your house on the market and right now, in the Seattle market, that’s going to be, you know, sold in lesson thirty days for sure anywhere in Seattle area, and so it’s going to go really fast. But in that time that you’re at your house, you’re going to have realators contacting you saying can we come and see your home? We like to come at two o’clock on Thursday and maybe two o’clock on Thursday is not a great time but you want to sell your home. Think about what that means logistically. Think about you. How do you get out of your house? Are you still driving? You have to call a son and daughter, a friend to pick you up to get you out of the House that you’re not going to be there. But some more in your home. This is something that has jumped out at me in the last couple of years. Has Been Very important if you are a financially in a situation that you have resources to be able to move before your home is sold, so you don’t need the equity from your home day one. I highly encourage doing that. The other big pluses once you move into and let’s say you moving to and assistant living, husband, wife moving to an assistant living. You’ve chosen a two bedroom apartment in this assistant living building and now you’re there and you know the basic furniture pieces that you mean and you think you can take more from your, you know, two five hundred square foot house and you’re down southing two seven hundred fifty square feet in a two bedroom and you’re like loops. Now you have the flexibility of bringing stuff back to the house or you can say hey, I’d like to have that chair or that occasional table because it will feel great in this corner. Yeah, it’s really gistical little press and I think to is the lifestyle that you’re going to experience differently if you’re going to go to senior living community, because, you know, you may have all kinds of kitchen gadgets that you use every day because she’s been cooking. But guess what, you’re going to not have to book that much, except if you want to. You know, you’re going to have these gourmet meals every you know, e free out or you know, every day, and you’re going to have this totally different lifestyle where you don’t have to clean house. You don’t have to. You know, you’re not going to have the have the broom closet of cleaning supplies and Strang and all the vacuums and all that stuff unless you want them. The point is is that it’s a very different lifestyle that drives you so separately and I think a lot of times, you know, I is it true? Somebody told me once, think of it like you’re going to a gonna go state someplace for two weeks, and other words, just think about what would I use for two weeks, you know, in a typical lifestyle, and then just take the bare minimal. You can always add to but one of the things that I what you’re saying is pretty much the same in the fact that you know you’re not using that. If you don’t use that kitchen gadget and chick every two weeks, within two weeks, you probably aren’t going to use it in no living no, nope, you aren’t. That’s a that’s a good way to think about it. How I use this in the last two weeks. Sometimes we can get caught in that, you know, silly thing that we think about all the different outdoor coats we have. Oh my gosh, how many different outdoor coats we have, pretty different its. Yeah, I mean, I know I’m getting into the nitty gritty, but this is the part that that steins people. is so time consuming. It is to start early. is so important to start downsizing. Yeah, and and really to think about that your lifestyle is going to change dramatically in so many wonderful ways, not a bad way. It’s like even the fact of you know, thinking about you all the little things that you have, you’re not going to necessarily have. You know, to occupy yourself. You might even think about, you know, are you going to watch that much TV? Because, guess what, you can have activities, you’re going to have things that happen. So all of these things are going to build up a circle of friends you might you know. So a lot of the recreational stuff that you love to do now, those of the things you’re going to be able to build on. It’s that correct? I mean, I’m absolutely, absolutely. I think about gentlemen you know and who have which I will never understand, but they have fifteen fishing rods and railed on. They’re all important, but are they going to need to be in your apartment or is this something that you can pick out your favorite ones or the ones that have stories tied to them and they become a part of your decoration in your apartment? You know that these are the stories that I can tell because these fishing guns around the wall. You know, they think creatively. These are the kinds of conversations that people from pinnacles in your placements will have with you, only because we’ve been down this road. Yeah, these are not thinking wrap their head around how the improved life is going to happen, and you know through this process and you know, no more house maintenance and all the money you’ve been throwing at a maintenance person. Maybe now you could do something like, you know, take a short vacation or something like that, if you’re capable or able to do that, and those are the options that you’re going to be able to explore. And certainly, Daphne, you know, I want to get into our next segment a little bit, talking about now. How do you actually make the move with the moves and important to you right now, and how are you involved in that? So in the meantime, how do we reach you? So my website you can reach us at as Pinnacle Senior Placementscom. All those words are spelled out. Pinnacle Senior Placementscom, and our phone number that you can reach us at any time. Leave a message, I’ll get to you. Is Eight hundred and fifty five, seven, thirty four one thousand five hundred. Again, that’s Eight, eight hundred and fifty five, seven, thirty four one one five hundred. Well, I’m excited to talk a little bit about now that you’re in this process, life is going to be better and we certainly want to do talk to you about think about how your life to change if you didn’t have all those responsibilities at home, or how long or Dad’s like? Or are you taking care of a lot of the toast for your senior Uve ones? We’re going to talk a little bit about how life’s going to change and how, doubt, it’s going to make it better right after the PA. The preceding podcast was provided by pinnacles senior placements LLC and answers for elders radio. To contact pinnacles senior placements, go to Pinnacle Senior Placementscom.