When you are working with a professional, you need to be heard and valued, not put into a box. It’s also a relationship with the entire family. There are services to help you and walk alongside you. Daphne Davis at Pinnacle Senior Placements recommends having an advisor you feel from your gut has your best interests in mind.
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*The following is the output of transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors.
The following podcast is provided by pinnacles senior placements LLC and answers for elders radio. And Welcome back to answers for elders radio, and I am here with one of our favorite people in the world, Daphne Davis, from pinnacles senior placements. Daphnie, welcome back. Thank you. How are you? What’s going on in the world? You guys? Life is good. It’s fall, we’re getting back into rhythms, the summer vacations are over, things are happening with families. I’m good. Yes, and you know, the thing that’s so incredible is obviously I got a really unique email that came through by mistake to me from a national company that talked about, you know, please find are, you know, interview. Here’s somebody that’s looking for a place for there, you know, for their loved one, and I was kind of shocked because the community that sent it to me does not do dementia care and it said on the the sheet that the woman has dementia. And that tugged at my heart strings because here’s these families trying to do right by their parent and yet when they talk to something that is like a national type site like this, there’s no personal relationship, and so I think one of the things that’s really important that we’re going to talk about today is number one. Why you guys are different, I think is a big thing. But I also what can families really what should they expect from a placement advisor? Awesome topic and I’m really glad that we get to talk about this because it is something near and dear to my heart too, and why Pinnacle senior placements even exists. When you are in a situation of having to make very life altering decisions for a loved one, it is so important that you, as the family members, know that you’re being heard, because you are the advocate for your loved ones. For many of you, your powers of tourney and your job as a power of attorney is to speak for your loved one, Uh Huh, and that’s a big responsibility. And so when you are working with a professional, I think the number one thing that you need to be sure of is that you are being heard, that you are being valued, that you are not being put into a box and says a piece of paper. You know, my mom has CEOPD and congestive heart failure and she has a little bit of short term memory loss and she walks with a cane and she has a little bit of hard time falling asleep at night. That is not your mom, right. That is just a list of care things that she needs. Exactly. That is not your mother, know. And so getting past that piece of paper, getting past the conversation on the phone that says, well, what are your mom’s care needs? Okay, and then now tell me what did she used to do in her fifties? and St S and s four a hobby? What’s most important to her? Yes, but you know what, until someone looked at the whites of your eyes and really sees the passion or the distrust or the confusion or the panic, how can that person possibly advocate for you and your family will exactly. And the other thing is understanding. Like you said, it’s a relationship that you have with the entire family. Like, where are they located? Like, I had an experience when I was first in the you know, first checking this out. My mom had one week left in a Rehab Center, right and her benefits were going to run out. I had to find a place and she was being released. They told me into a quote unquote, assisted living and she had all of her belongings and everything up and anichordis right. So I had to not only find her a new place, but I had to then figure out how I was going to transfer and move her out of her house into an assisted living in Linwood. And I was in a panic and you can imagine having to get all these things done in one week. A lot of families right now are doing dealing with exactly the same issue every day, every day. The thing that blew me away is is I called that eight hundred number thinking, Oh, I’ll get all this help and I got this advisor on the phone that really didn’t ask me, like the things that you said, what’s most important to my mom? What is the most important thing to your mother? Instead, I got brass with phone calls from communities and they set a net so wide. I wanted Lynwood area that I got a call from a community in Squim Washington. So what you’re describing, Susanna, is it exactly what a lot of people go and it there is a place for that service, don’t get me wrong. Right there is a place where that service for some families, but most of our families are not having even a week’s time of knowledge. No, most of our families, I have two families I’m working with this week that the family member was discharged directly from the hospital back into the community and the family members, the daughters, are calling me saying I don’t they have to come to my house and I don’t know what to do and I have a full time job at because they can’t go to rehab because they don’t fit the criteria for Rehab right these are very real situations. Don’t feel like you’re alone if you’re walking this walk right now. But what I would do want you to hear is that there are services to help you. There are services to be able to walk alongside you. When you are looking at an advisor in placement and Housing and care, have somebody that is you feel from your gut that they have your best interest at heart, a that they are going to figure out, by listening to you, by watching your body language, by learning about your mom’s idiosyncrasies and her joys, that they are going to take the bull by the horns and, step by step, go through this. You who have gone through this journey know that there are legal things that we have to take care of. Paperwork and and assessments and doctor’s orders. All of those things can be overwhelming. But if you have an advisor that’s walking along with you, they should not be overwhelming. That advisor should they get able to walk you through step by step. If you’re a personality that says tell me everything I need to do at the very beginning, that advisor should be able to pick that up from you. If you’re someone who needs one step at a time, don’t overwhelm me. The advisor should know that about you. Absolutely that is the kind of advisor that you should be working with. Absolutely. So we are talking with Daphne Davis and she is a CEO and founder of pinnacles senior placements and you have an amazing team out there in western western Washington. Tell us a little bit about where you serve now can now you guys have expanded. We had time. We are so proud of our company and the ability to serve our families. That’s what pinnacle is all about, to serve our families. But we are able to help families from Thurston county all the way up to scatchet county. We go out to Squim and Port Angeles out in Jefferson County, all of that area. We are so well versed in being able to help our family. So that’s our area. Best ways to get a hold of me are at eight hundred and fifty five, seven, thirty four, one thousand five hundred or we certainly have a website, and I will apologize right now we’re under construction, so that are you getting a little bit of work on it, but it is at Pinnacle Senior Placementscom and we’re excited because obviously, when you talk about this whole phenomena of families and what they’re going through and what they should expect, I have never felt more alone then the time that I was taking care of my mom. I mean I remember, I have a vivid memory, daphne, of me standing in my kitchen after I just brought a big Wat of my mother’s laundry home to do her laundry for her, working at full time job, and feeling like I had no help and I had everything on my shoulders. Yeah, and it’s a lonely, lonely you huge weight that these family caregivers are dealing with and this is a kind of support that you can provide them. That’s right. It’s it’s my desire to hear that story that you just told. I have the time to listen to that story, for that caregiver to be heard, but, more importantly, to come up with some possible solutions that. That’s the purpose in why we exist, to give credibility to the family members who are doing the hard work, to maybe walk through some hard times and family dynamics and be that objective party that can make sure that families don’t split apart absolutely, or at least to try and help that not to happen. This is an emotional journey. Whether mom and dad just, you know, need to downsize their house, it’s still an emotional journey and they’re going to be to an independent or whether mom or dad is completely ill and there’s a amily dynamics. It’s like, even in the downsize, mom’s going to want to tell the story about every single item and why you can’t throw it away, and it’s like the kid, the daughter or the son, it’s like, I don’t have time to do with this, and there’s this dynamic that happens that I know to have somebody like you that you could just vent to or share the story or realize that you don’t have to be everything. That’s right. We’ve touched on so many topics today in this shirt little segment, but they’re all deserved to have more time because they’re real. Yeah, and there you are, not alone as somebody out there trying to navigate long term care and housing for your loved ones. Absolutely and just realizing that there’s so much more out there for a family to understand. So if somebody was, let’s just say you’re starting to have concern about your loved one, what is your role at that point? If they were to call you and say, you know what I’m I’m really concerned about mom and dad. I haven’t talked to them really about this yet. You can really get engaged from that point, can’t you? Absolutely, I cant. You know, one of the Nice things about me is that I can tell you real life stories that are happening currently. I have another situation just like that to ninety year olds that are so cognitive and living life fully, but the wife is having some issues. They are not going to leave their home, absolutely are not going to leave their home, but the family is so worried about them who live a distance away, and I’m able to at least come in and say. You know, Mr Smith, we’re not making any decisions today, but can I introduce you to some ideas? You seem to be a very wise, proactive person. You’re ninety years old and living very well. Yeah, so you do know how to make good decisions. Can I share some more information for you to be able to be proactive and not to have to be reactive, at least start gathering some information again, Mr Smith, no decisions are being made at all. It’s just to some nation of information. It’s your so you start out basically as an educational and you know advocate right that. Just say we want you to stay in your home and independent as long as possible. Everybody does in our industry. The that’s the right thing. Yes, and and nobody’s trying to push anybody into anything. And I think sometimes bring me somebody in like you. It takes that heat off of the adult. It doesn’t child. A many, many times from the children’s perspective, I here definitely didn’t say anything that I haven’t already told my parents. The big differences. I’m not the daughter, know, and you should stay the daughter yet and that’s the beauty of having pinnacle senior placements on. So tell us again now. How do we reach you? You reach me at eight hundred and fifty five, seven and thirty four, one, one five hundred wonderful, or pinnacles senior Placementscom? And would you stay with me and do another segment on this sopic I think we have so much more to talk about and we’ve got families out there right now that could certainly use your advice. I would love to. The preceding podcast was provided by pinnacles senior placements LLC and answers for elders radio. To contact pinnacles senior placements, go to pinnacles senior PLACEMENTSCOM.
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Originally published October 20, 2018