Daphne Davis at Pinnacle Senior Placements talks about finding a solution for every senior loved one’s challenges. As we work through the process, she sees joy all the time. Adult family homes have really come through lately, as well as assisted living.
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*The following is the output of transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors.
Time to get back to Soho’sad and more answers for elders, and welcome back everyone to answers for elders. Radio is we are in the very last segment of this hour with Daphne and definitely it seems like we always go this the our flies by when you’re when you’re on, so it’s always such a delight for me to be able to talk to you and you know, we’ve talked a lot about thinking outside the box and thinking about how pinnacle helps. And you know, we we in the regular world, including me, we don’t think about a lot of the things that you deal with every day with families and you know all the different nuances, because there’s no you know, the path of elder care is not cookie cutter. Every situation is different and certainly for you you’ve gone through a lot of different stories, you know, in the in this like four or five months since we’ve been there. But you’ve had some successes too, and I would love to end our our talking about you know, what’s been good about this experience in many cases, because I think there’s some blessings there. For sure. There, oh, there definitely are, and you know I have to I have to just maybe correct a little bit. They’re every single family I work with ends with a success. Every family love that I am so confident to tell you that there is a solution for every situation, no matter how bleaking maybe or how you think it’s in consequential. It’s really not that big a deal. What we see on the other side as we work through a process of making sure people are supported appropriately is joy. We see joy all the time. I have so many stories right now of couples moving and a lot of couples throughout this summer time, more couples that I’ve ever worked with, and it gives me great joy to be able to figure out what is the best scenario for them to be successful. And sometimes we were exploring adult family homes, which I don’t ever want to forget about. I believe they are the best form of care when someone is meeting care for health reasons or physical reasons. There’s the best form of care to help somebody in terms of having some cognitive support from many situations. So adult family homes have really come through for our couples lately. At the same time, there are situations where assisted living is just the right is and when you have a couple that you’re working with. You have two stories to melt together, and so we talked a lot about the compromising that will happen between the two people. We talk a lot about the next chapter of life together and the things that will be added to your life and the things that you won’t have in your life anymore. It is living in your own home and moving to a community of care, whether it be assisted living or adult family home. Until we talked about those things and it is it is so wonderful to have families call me back and you know after two or three weeks, because I keep in contact with all of our families for at least forty five days, and they call back and they said, daphitely, you found exactly the right fit. I can’t tell you how happy my mom and dad are. They’re not worried about this or this or this, and they actually are doing things that they’ve talked about doing that they never could do at home. It might be something as simple as mom is reading again. She has the energy to sit and read. Before she was worried about getting the laundry done and making sure, that, you know, my dad had a meal, and now she’s reading that just brings joy to my heart. It just means the next chapter of life is just going to look different. It’s still can be wonderful, it’s just, yes, different, and so those are, I think, that really give me joy. Yeah, and I think one of the things that what you’re making is that, you know, I have so many families that say, my parents will never leave their house, they’ll never do this, I’ll never do that, and I, you know, I always sit back and I think and and you know, this is something that I try to talk to families about as that I’ll say. You know, if you didn’t know what was out there, you’re asking somebody to step off of a cliff and have faith. And when you when you already feel vulnerable as it is, and compromise, of course you’re going to dig in your heels. That’s a natural process of this whole you know, world. And yet you know, if you’re if you understand that, number one to make it easy and have somebody that can come in like you, that can explain and answer those questions that they’re not going to answer. You know, ask of their loved ones. There their children, and furthermore, the children don’t know how to answer those questions anyway. They don’t understand the processes of you know, whether the difference you brought up one of the things an adult family home to assist at living. The average individual doesn’t even know what the differences are and doesn’t even know really how to assess what would be the right fit for mom or death. They don’t understand what the different options are out there. And the other piece of it is how to financially. Can you know what can pay for those like how many people do I know that don’t even have knowledge that they can get veterans benefits, you know, aid, an attendance, fight, different things like financial resources that they didn’t even know that they had. Those are all factors that you can help families with, which I think is really, really an important thing to have somebody that your parent can trust, somebody like you, definitely, and that is, I think that the amazing part about what you do. Yeah, it is. It’s it is a journey and we have to walk through that journey and have patients with where everybody is at within that family dynamics. Everybody’s going to have their own perspective based on their life journeying within the family and all are valid and and and real. I mean, there’s nothing not really. But how do we navigate through those things? How do we get to the bottom line of remembering what are our highest values for mom and dad? What our highest band? How many social about moms? Yeah, how many social workers will ask what the high values are? There two are overwork. Don’t have time. I don’t understand what those are. Yeah, exactly. Well, so about we have about five minutes left in this segment and this hour. I would love to kind of step back and say, you know, doubty, obviously you’re working with families each and every day right now. What is the process when somebody calls you and let’s do they’re concerned about their loved one? How are you helping families right now during times of covid and outside of Covid like what? What’s different? Is that a like a way too long of an answer in five minute? No, no, that’s a no, I can do that. I’ll do the short version. The main thing is, let’s just let’s just go through this. Someone calls me and I asked them to tell me a little bit about the story of why they’re calling me. How did your mom get to the hospital? How did you get to the Rehab why are you calling me about your dad in the house? What’s changed? And so we start write conversation. And so it’s a process of me gathering information and I’m very, very respectful of People’s privacy, but I also am explaining. The more information I have, the better job I can do to having a right, good solution to your story, and so it is kind of a probing conversation that can easily move into a zoom conversation. I use zoom all the time, a platform of video calling, and then we can see each other. It also gives me the opportunity, you know, if someone’s in their own home, that we can meet that person and have a conversation. That only happens so when the family is ready for that. You are the one right drive the pace of everything. I am not a decision maker, I am an information giver, and so it’s very, very soft when we’re gathering that information. It might include getting some charting or something from a doctor or a hospital. It might be you having to reach out to a primary care physician and sharing with me the medications that they’re on, because I help you with the whole transferring of information and running right down to if you need a mover, I’m helping you right then, after we’ve gathered information and I have been, you know, gifted the pleasure of meeting your loved one, then we’re going to actually tour and we’re going to do that together, because I’m want to help you know the good, the bad and the ugly of every situation and I’m going to explain to you why we’ve chosen these places to be at right now during Covid we are doing that via zoom. Don’t let that scare any of you out there. I can walk you through exactly how to do that. We can do that on a phone, on a computer. We can, you know, connect with somebody in your family to help you. There’s myriads of ways. Remember, I’m solution oriented. So we tour and then after we tour, I answer more questions and I start helping you build a relationship with the community that you’re leaning towards and we work through the process of how to pay for this. We want to be fiscally responsible, whether you’ve got, you know, a sizeable estate or smalle estate or no estate. I work with everyone. I personally believe that I have a responsibility of helping be fiscally responsible with your estate, and the highest value I have, though, is that I don’t want your loved one to have to move again. And so in twenty years of working with families, I’ve only had twelve people moved from original placement, and that’s where the commodation happens. So I’m very proud of that and that is my highest value, because we it’s just too stressful. There are situations where we need to do kind of a stepping stone from your house to assist a living to an adult family home. Sometimes that happens, but usually when you gather information, you can see the wisdom of how to look down the road a little bit but also live for today. So that’s the process that I help people with well, and I’m so glad that you, you know, revamp this. And so in our last thirty seconds now of the show today, would you give your number and tell people how they can reach you? Absolutely, because I’d love to hear from all of you. My phone number is eight hundred and fifty five seven thirty four one five hundred. That’s state five five seven thirty four one fifteen hundred, or you can reach me via my website at Pinnacle Senior Placementscom, and I’d love to hear from each of you and also check out Daphne’s podcast. You’ve got probably close to a hundred of them by now. There’s a pretty much learn you can learn a lot for daphne even before you pick up the phone and get to know her heart. She is totally there for our families and we’re very, so, very honored to have her as part of our expert base because she truly brings the heart into answers for elders. So thank you so much for being with us this hour and for each and everyone of you who are listen. They you’re welcome. And for each and every one of you that are here listening to the show today, I continue to remind each and every one of you to please be safe. Where a mask, but also reach out to somebody in your neighborhood. Do you know of a senior that could use some help? We hope that you will step outside, step outside of your comfort zone and do something for someone else. So until next week, everyone, be good to each other. Answers for elders with Suzanne Newman is. You’re online and on air. Community Resource and helping you care for your aging loved ones. Every week, you can tune into our radio program coast to coast on iheartradio and online, as we bring you straight answers from the top professionals in senior care. You can call us on our care line to receive individual help from a qualified senior care professional. Eight seven seven two, one hundred and four, eight six six one. That’s eight seven seven two, one hundred and four, eight hundred sixty six one. Now there’s one place to find answers for elders.
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Originally published August 16, 2020