Traveling with Seniors, Part 3 with Kelley Smith

*The following is the output of transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors.

The following podcast is provided by care partners living and answers for elders radio, and welcome back everyone to answer for elders radio. And we are talking about travel, travel, vacation and some fun and adventure with our seniors. And, believe it or not, we can have adventures, we can have lots of fun things and I want to ask each and every one of you who are listening today, have you ever asked a senior loved one what’s still on your bucket list? Is there a place you’d like to go? Is there an experience you’d like to have that you haven’t had yet, and maybe there’s a way that we can make that happen. And those are some exciting things, I think, that we’re all here to talk about and we are here with wonderful Kelly Smith from care partners living and Kelly, welcome back as usual. I love having you on the show and I love your enthusiasm. They’re so sweet. Thank you so much. Always an honor being here. Well, we’re excited to have you and certainly looking forward to I’m excited to have this kind of conversation because it’s truly is summertime and curious we have seniors that are living at home right now that may not venture out because they’re going, well, you know, I’m probably too old to do that. And yet they’re not too old to do that, and I guess that’s the thing, you know, to have a wish lists of things that they really want to do some someday. Someday sometimes never comes. So let’s find ways to make those things happen. And so talking about the bucket list and talking about while senior still independently living. What are some other considerations that you might recommend that we address? Well, when you’re talking about a loved one being at home, I think that we have to keep in mind to how many of our loved ones don’t take vacations because, first of all, they’re afraid to go alone. HMM, they don’t want to be a burden to their families. MMM, feel like, well, we get around kind of slow these days. We should just stay home. Yeah, well, why should they miss out? And how many times do the kids feel like don’t know, I wish cram on GRAPPA were here. How can make him come this year? Well, it’s because, nope, everybody believed what they said. Yes, Oh, we’re going to skip it this year. We’re tired, we got other things to do. And the truth of the matter is they feel like they shouldn’t go and maybe if hadds some encouragement from family, maybe they would go right and you know, and there’s a reason why they can’t. And and I think that travel is so important and is that it isn’t getting out experiencing life was kind of what the show MMM. Absolutely, absolutely, I will never yeah, I will never forget, Kelly, when I turned fifty years old and my mom that wayld have made my mom wasn’t. Wasn’t just the other day. Oh yeah, right, fifteen years ago, my mom was eighty, eighty one and she so here she was and on I wanted to go for my fifty birthday. I wanted to take charter a whale watch boat and go out to the Orcus and that’s what I wanted to do. and My mother was terrified and she goes, I don’t want to go out on that boat, I’m afraid I would fall in the dock. I’m free and I just went mom, we’re going to make it happen. And you know what, I think she had the most fun of everybody. And but it took a little bit of coaxing. It took a lot of you know, it’s going to be okay. I had a couple of really strong male friends that helped her in the process and that helped her feel secure that she could get into the boat and out of the boat. But those are some things. I think, like you were talking about an earlier segment, of making sure that there’s proper planning in place, that they feel comfortable and I don’t care. I mean mom was still living independently when she was eighty years old, but the difference was was that she didn’t you like you were saying. She didn’t want to burden me, she didn’t want to feel like she was dragging me down on my fifty birthday and all of those things. But I think one of the things that you really touched on that was really important is that those things are the reasons why, you know, they don’t want to be a burden and so they miss out, and I would hope that that would be we could see beyond that and helped. But again, like I said before, plan, plan, plans, just like you did with your mom. I think if people, we’ve seen this before, the family to sit down and also find out what’s really going on. Are you afraid? Are you afraid to be away from your house, because we can get somebody, mom to come over and beat the cat. That’s not a problem. Or maybe I don’t want to leave your dog, so maybe you want to bring your dog with you. Bring the dog. You know we can do that, bob. What are you worried about? Are you worried about leaving the house? We will have johnny come over and beat the grandson, come over and and and water the plant. You know not to. What are you really worried about? Well, I’m worried that I won’t be able to keep up with your kids. Well, you know what we cause. Have you taken APP once the while? We’re going to be okay, but it’s getting to the heart of what’s really keeping them at home and sometimes having those conversations and sometimes setting them down and saying we want you to come, m we really want you to go. Yeah, be the same without you. And we’ve made plans. Here’s what we’re going to do. We found a great hotel. You don’t have to walk, you don’t have steps, you don’t have, you know, a shower that you got a step over a tub we made all these great plans and it’s going to be fine and you and you and dad don’t have to keep up with US crazy kids. You can come with them, but you can also stay in the hotel and take an ALP if you want to. Making them understand that they’re part of the family but they don’t have to keep up with everybody if they don’t want to. They can see you go with the case right and and understand that you want them to be part of it, but they don’t have to. They don’t have to keep up with the grand what if they feel like it’s a financial birth? You know, as the family, also talks about the MOM and dad words can’t afford it. You know, talk about that as a family as well. But again we also to keep in mind how long are we going to have these folks with us? And isn’t that memory worth everything, you know, having them get to go and enjoy these times with us. It’s it. But again it’s planning and it’s really finding out what they don’t want to go. They are the again. Is it fear? Is it is it worried about being a burden? Is it worried about you know what I just talked to a family member the other day who just lost her husband of forty years and she has dementia. She’s afraid to be around her family because she’s afraid people are going to are going to say things she won’t know how to answer. So what if you have a family conference ahead of time and said, hey, we’re going to talk to everybody in a fance mom or you don’t tell her that, but what if you guys from talk to the family in advance about some key things to not talk about or ways to talk about it in the way that makes mom feel better? Well, I think the other thing don’t correct mom are just give a little bit of coaching in advance. It’s like, you know mom is going to take longer to answer questions because your mind isn’t working all the way. Don’t try to answer them for her. That’s demeaning. You know, let him process it, let you know just take you know, take a step back and and allow her to be who she is today. So exactly, sometimes that’s what families need to especially if they’re trying to take a vacation with the deventure resident. Let to slow down a little bit and and not embarrassed that resident. Let them be themselves, right, try to correct them or rush them or make them feel that they don’t belong and just give them a chance to just be themselves. That, yeah, and it a little bit different. So beat right what them absolutely well, I think. Also just mobility issues alone. Even maybe mom doesn’t in everyday life doesn’t need a wheelchair, but I think it’s not a bad idea if you’re taking a car trip someplace, put it portable wheelchair in the in the trunk. MOM could get tired, mom could get, you know, frustrated. Just on even you know I’m feeling uneasy. Maybe you’re doing a lot more walking than normal. So, you know, portable. He can rent them for nothing exactly. You can go to a lot of great places and rent them for the day. One of the best places I know of its TESCO medical there and edmunds. Yes, things just just for a short term. What about a walker and things to think about. Comfortable shoes, make your mom’s got comfortable clothes. He doesn’t have to look like a China doll. Honey, she’s on vacation. Make sure he’s comfortable. You know what I mean. And maybe mom never wears CONTON’s products. But what if she’s been having some issues lately? Right, is it such a bad thing to make sure she’s comfortable and not embarrassed? You know what I mean. So it’s a it’s thinking ahead about things that she may or may not need and also, when you do get her backed up to go, even if she’s living independently, make sure you take her medications, her vite demands, anything she needs in that House that you don’t want to get on vacation and go, shoot, we didn’t bring mom’s blood pressure medication. Oh shoot, we didn’t bring this, we didn’t bring that. You want to make sure you are very prepared so that she’s not stressed out because you didn’t bring her this or bring her that. Things that she helps on every day. You want to make sure you bring all those things right. Make sure you’re very familiar with what her daily schedule looks like. An holds like you. What if she was an assisted living well, these are really, really good tips to Kelly. Thank you, and you know coming up next. You know I want to talk to you. We have so many wonderful things right here in the Pacific northwest to experience. So maybe it’s not an overnight trip but maybe it’s what we call a staycation. Maybe there’s some adventures that we can still do this summer and certainly there’s a lot of different types of things that are happening here in greater puget sound right now. So coming up soon, Kelly, we’re going to do talk about this, but in the meantime, how do we reach you? The best place to check out care partners is just look out a fall line, and I’m care partners Livingcom and care partners has independent, assisted living and memory care and they are amazing and I am just so honored to have you guys, the partners, with us and we’re looking forward and Kelly will be right back right after this. The preceding podcast was provided by care partners living and answers for elders radio. To contact care partners living, go to care partners livingcom