You Are Not Alone, Part 4 with Daphne Davis

*The following is the output of transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors.

The following podcast is provided by pinnacles senior placements LLC and answers for elders radio. And welcome back everyone’s to answer for elders radio and we are here talking about the trials and the tribulations of being a quote unquote, family caregiver or family that is navigating elder care and making those changes. And we are here to wrap up this hour with our wonderful Daphne Davis from pinnacles senior placements. And Daphne, you are amazing and I think about all the struggles that families are dealing with, not only in, you know, just just general elder care, which goes on all the time, but there’s been this extra layer of the pandemic and I know a lot of families have had seniors maybe living with them where they should have been in skilled care but they were afraid over the the you know, course of the last year and a half of but then there’s other things that go on and once they move into a community there’s this feeling of, you know, guilt, feeling of relief, feeling of did I do the right thing, second guessing, all of those things. I’m sure that you deal with this. You know a little bit of buyers remorse and from that side I’m how often does that come up? Hundred percent of the time in different that in different amounts right, because it’s a change. Change is going to bring on all emotions. It’s just how long do we stay in each one of the emotions? But point it’s not on your unique story so many times. Right now, and I’m going to speak just briefly to the pandemic issues. Right now we have the knowledge of knowing, having eighteen months just about of knowing what are the repercussions of people being isolated? What are the repercussions of having too much exposure to everybody? How do we find that balance? And so now I want to I really want to empower families to know that there are communities of care, whether that be Alil, adult family ha memory care. We know how to find the balance. Now the pendulum swung way over to one side where there was no contact at all. Yeah, we kind of figured out that’s not working. How can we make this work? And then we swung over to being pretty open. I’m still taking measured precautions. Now in the state of Washington we’re kind of going back to this pendulum swinging over here where we’re a little more cautious, but we know that we cannot go way over here. We cannot go to the place of isolation. That does not work. And the good news isn’t at least in the state of Washington, Ninety nine percent of people over the age of sixty five have been vaccinated, which is really awesome. So I think that’s a good thing and and a lot now that there’s going to be a booster shot coming out, I think that’s a good thing too. So I think we’re making a lot head quay in the state of Washington, but obviously throughout the United States that not that is not necessarily the case at all. So we have to look at you know, where can we find the best solutions in the best balance given the scenarios that that’s exactly right. Now, within that pendulum there’s going to be a spectrum of where corporations align themselves right, where communities of care are supporting families in different ways, and so that has become a part of the equation of absolutely what is the best community of care, large or small, for your family? Right, and so we’re very much honoring people’s individuality and there their story of where they’re at and we can do that. So don’t lose hope in wherever you’re at in this spectrum. Everybody is unique. You. Yep, everybody’s story is different and here at Pinnacle we’ve been able to figure out how to honor all those stories in in relationship to pandemics, I wanted to briefly speak to the visitation. I believe I have not run into a community of late that is not having any no visitation right. We’ve gotten wise and correctly said Susanne. You know, we do have a number of people that are vaccinated now, and so that helps in terms of giving people peace of mind and knowing that we’ve moved in the right direction. So please, don’t let the pandemics stop you from getting the care that your loved ones need and that you need. You, as a caregiver, also need support. This is a joint venture. The gift of professional care in a community of CARE is not just to the loved one right’s or at the whole family right and that’s the piece that we discover as time goes on. Once you’ve made the decision to move mom or Dad, and now you’ve moved them, you will see a little bit of a dip. Traditionally, I’d say majority of people have a little bit of dip in terms of their desire to participate, pate, perhaps even in their physical abilities. You might even see a little bit of depression. We have just made a huge move, you know, let you know, I’ll make up a story. From Two Thousand Square Foot House down to six hundred and forty square feet in an apartment. That’s huge. I’m not looking at the same pictures on the wall. I’m not. I don’t have my pots and pans around me, I don’t have my garage and I don’t have my backyard and I don’t smell the same flowers at different times of the year. It’s huge. Give some grace, yes sake, take some patience there and work with if you’re with pinnacle, we’re going to work with you through those changes. Right then you’re going to see someone come up a little bit and they’re going to find a new baseline because they can now rest in the next chapter of life. They can now rest and know that, oh, I don’t have to worry about what I’m going to eat for dinner. It’s going to be there for me. Yeah, and I think there’s like that. It’s there. Yeah, and I think that adjustment period that we all are dealing with, you know, when you’re talking about a major change, it’s like it’s very normal for a senior loved one to go into community and the first week say I don’t like it here. You know, I everything’s different because they’re having to make so many changes and the community is getting to know them. No, I didn’t. And something is simple, like I I have an example. My mom didn’t know how to speak for what she needed right, and so when I did it. It’s really, I think important in a community is to have a care conference with the staff when you’re there so that you know, and that’s something Daphne, you could accompany families and that care conference so that those questions could get answered. And we found out really quick the reason why my mom didn’t like the food was wasn’t because of the food, is because she liked to have milk with every meal and they weren’t bringing her a glass of milk. And I kind of like laugh now. It was so simple, but she didn’t even know that that’s what she needed. Went but when we went through this, it’s like, well, my mom drinks milk. Now that was important that I said that and from then on my mom was happy see the little details are what really make make it exactly. I was specifically about adult family homes right now for just a minute. Absolutely in adult family homes and they’re not well known. We have about thirty five hundred of them in the state of Washington. They’re highly regulated by the state of Washington. There’s over seven hundred and fifty rcws and wax that regulate them and they can have a maximum of six people and in some homes eight people. So they’re very small community and they’re every adult family home has a different personality. By state law they can do everything that a nursing home does except for intramuscular shots and breathing apparatus type care, drinks and what not, but they can specialize however they want to and each one is individual. But the reason I want to bring up adult family homes is sometimes that transition from home to another home is, the honest, drastic. It’s not and it’s easy to do, particularly for people who are creatures of habit if their environment and their habits that they do every day really keep them grounded. An adult family home is very viable to look at. I couldn’t agree with you more. The difference between going from a home to an apartment building with long hallways and a schedule that at two o’clock, I do this and it comes over the loudspeaker at at three o’clock, I do this and I have, you know, a hundred other people that I potentially can meet, and now I have to know, you know, the people that come knocking on my door and say hey, we’d love to invite you too, and you know I can who you are. Yeah, it’s overwhelming versus going to an adult family home. This the scary part there is, what if my mom and dad or you know whoever, doesn’t like anybody that’s living there? What if it’s too small? What if the smells aren’t, you know, quite right? What if they, you know, want some place that’s light and bright and this one’s really dark? Well, obviously we’re not going to a dark adult family home. We can specialize and really home into. What does your mom or dad like? It is magical in and the thing that’s so cool about that is you can actually find like minded people that have maybe they all like to play bridge, maybe they say there’s a you know, I know that my husband being Jewish. It’s like there’s a lot of people in the Jewish community that play Maj on and it’s like, you know, yes, there’s Klein Gallen home, which is huge, right, right, but there’s other types of adult family homes that may have a Jewish community within it. So the idea is is to have, you know, working with somebody like you, dephne. You understand how to match the family that so that those those concerns will not happen, and I think that’s the really important thing. Exactly right. Let me tell you a quick story. We have a woman who got moved up from California three days ago. Her Her son lives in Houston. They got my name through through southern California. Daughter is here. They had her go to and Al and assistant living community. They had no idea that mom couldn’t do things independently. She was in California. Daughters and Washington sons and ex has had no idea. They’re in a panic. They have to go back to work on Monday. So they call me and we’re going to figure out what is the option. They didn’t even know that a doult family homes where an option. Yeah, they didn’t even know they existed. So it’s really important to learn what your options are. I don’t know the right option for your family, but I do know the options to share with you and I do know how to help you discern what will work the best long term. And having that long term plan, I think, is so valuable. And So, before we end today, I know that we haven’t given Daphne’s contact information, but please go to answer for elders if you want information as well as Daphne. How do we reach you? You reach me at eight hundred and fifty five, seven, thirty four, one, one five hundred, but I really encourage you to go to our website at pinnacle senior placements with an Scom that’s pinnacle senior Placementscom, and the reason I encourage you is you’ll get a little more feel about what our services are, what our philosophies are, you’ll get to read other testimonials that are there, get get more of us. Said very about very large podcast library as well that you have on your website, that you can actually learn so much from Daphne just by listening, and I think that that’s so important. So daphitely. We’re so thrilled that you’re with us once a month and I loved today. It was wonderful and you know each and every one of our families. You are not alone, especially if you get a plan early in advance. Pick up the phone and just called Daphne or call a senior professional in your community. That may but would understand, I know that there’s a lot of people out there that are here willing to help you, and we had answers for elders. Hope to, you know, educate you so that you feel like you’re not alone, because you’re not. So until next week everyone, believe it or not, we’re moving into Labor Day next weekend, into September and fall is upon us. So have a wonderful last, you know, a few days of August, and until then be good to each other. The preceding podcast was provided by pinnacles senior placements LLC, and answers for elders radio. To contact pinnacles senior placements, go to Pinnacle Senior Placementscom.