How to Celebrate the Holidays When You’re Grieving

The holidays aren’t called the most wonderful time of the year for no reason! They’re meant to be joyful and spent in the company of loved ones. So, what if you’re dealing with a loss this holiday season? Being in a festive mood amid grief may feel impossible for some. However, there are plenty of ways to cope, especially in the presence of loved ones who are grieving with you. You may go through the motions like anyone else, which is perfectly fine. But with the big holiday on the horizon, you may be wondering how you’ll make it. Here are some ways to get through and celebrate the holidays while grieving.

Create New Traditions

You may have certain holiday traditions that you hold dear. The only problem is that they might remind you of the loved one you lost. It’s perfectly reasonable to want to be excluded from these activities. On the other hand, consider some alternatives that may help take you away from grief. For example, if there’s a particular game you would usually play with them, it wouldn’t be a bad idea to invent a new game. If it involves more than just you, collaborate with other friends and family members on new ideas. If anyone else is mourning, you can keep the celebration going while embracing new traditions—even if it’s temporary. This can also be most effective for any little ones, as well. Whether it’s movies, certain tasty treats, or holiday rituals you shared with your loved one, come up with new alternatives to push through sorrow and lift your spirits.

Remember Those You Have Lost

Just because that special person is no longer there to celebrate with you, doesn’t mean they can’t still have a seat at the table. This doesn’t have to be metaphorical. Honor their memory by placing a framed picture of them at the table in their usual spot. It doesn’t even have to be a photo. Another keepsake or object that reminds you of them would work, too. Or maybe simply light a candle. All of these remind everyone that they are gone—but never forgotten.

Sometimes, the best way to cope with loved ones is by sharing stories and memories. They might bring up some sorrow, but at least you’ll be dealing with the grief. his time of reflection could replace any activities that don’t feel right without them. Since we live in the digital age, including anyone who can’t make it or lives far away can help them along their grief journey, too. It can also be beneficial to create an online memorial beforehand and provide the opportunity for others to add their condolences. 

Celebrate In Your Own Way and On Your Own Time

Maybe you don’t want all the extra attention during this time. Consider your own needs first before you agree to anything. If you don’t think you can handle Christmas, then don’t attend. Your family will miss you, but they’ll understand if you need the time In a year, you’ll have the opportunity to make up for lost time once you have processed. If excluding yourself doesn’t sit right with you, go—but pace yourself. Don’t forget self-care, especially after a tremendous loss. Just remember that everyone is still there for you. Talk to someone before the holiday or event and explain what you’re going through and feeling. And most importantly, be kind and patient with yourself.

Seek Outside Help and Advice

If you feel as if getting through the holiday season isn’t going as expected, don’t be afraid to seek some outside perspectives. Most commonly, this refers to therapy and support groups. Dealing with grief and loss can come with additional burdens, such as PTSD. During this time of year, you may also be battling Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). Finding a therapist is easier than ever nowadays through online directories and resources. Support groups can be found in many churches and community centers. Having an outside listener, especially someone who might’ve been in your shoes at one point, could just be the answer to clear the sorrow and allow for some holiday celebration. 

On the other hand, for those well-versed in their faith, seeking spiritual counseling can also help you cope. If you belong to a religious organization, research out any resources offered. Incorporate church service and prayer as much as needed. Having a little grace and faith added to the mix can be a much-needed gift to yourself during this difficult time in your life.

Takeaway

Mourning is never easy, and grief can strike without warning. Therefore, it’s always best to be prepared and to map out ways of dealing with it. Celebrating Thanksgiving, Christmas, or the New Year after you’ve lost someone might not seem feasible. But, with the right resources and practices, it can be. Staying active and distracted might work for some. However, others might need extra encouragement. Don’t hesitate to seek out all resources available to you. Remember that it’s normal to feel everything during this time. And whatever you need or want to change about the holidays is completely fine. This is your time to heal and process—but don’t forget those who are still there at the end of the day. 

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