25 Patriotic Senior Jokes for This 4th of July

It’s time for my traditional 4th of July Song: “Cranky Doodle Dandy!”

Why did the duck say “Bang!”?

Because he was a firequacker!

All of my fingers were injured in the 4th of July fireworks. My closest friends say that they can’t count on me anymore.

What isn’t lazy on the 4th of July?

Fire-works.

Why couldn’t George Washington fall asleep?

Because he couldn’t lie!

What did one flag say to the other flag?

Nothing. It just waved!

What is usually red, white, black, and blue?

Uncle Sam falling down the stairs.

Where did George Washington buy his hatchet?

At the chopping mall!

What do you get if you cross a Patriot with a curly-haired dog?

A Yankee Poodle.

Why did the British cross the Atlantic?

To get to the other tide!

What did the Colonists wear to the Boston Tea Party?

Tea-shirts.

What was the most popular dance in 1776?

Indepen-dance!

Who was the biggest jokester in George Washington’s army?

Laughayette.

Did you hear the one about the Liberty Bell?

It really cracked me up!

What do you call tea that tastes like freedom?

LiberTEA.

Why should the gyms remain open throughout the year?

Every democratic constitution guarantees freedom of the press.

Why are there no knock-knock jokes about America?

Because freedom rings!

Why does the Statue of Liberty stand in New York Harbor?

Because she can’t sit down easily.

What’s the best snack to eat on the 4th of July?

Fire-crackers!

What do you get when you cross Captain America with the Incredible Hulk?

The Star-Spangled Banner

Did you know that the very first Americans were actually ants?

It’s true – they lived in colonies.