Creativity With Seniors, Part 4 with Kelley Smith

*The following is the output of transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors.

The following podcast is provided by care partners living and answers for elders radio. And welcome back to our final segment of this hour. And we are here with the wonderful Kelly Smith, care partners living, and we are talking about creativity. How can you be creative in your everyday life with a loved one? And we’ve talked about getting outrageous, we’ve talked about doing things out of the box, we’ve talked about culture, we’ve talked about how senior living works and Kelly, this last segment, I you know, we talked a little bit, but I would love to talk a little bit about how we memorialize those memories, how we create those laughs, you know, make those moments last. And obviously photographs are big, videos are great hot. What what would you suggest in that point? If you’re going to do something silly with mom or take a picture of her in the snow with you or that that trip you guys have always wanted to take, take the picture, but put it in a frame and put it in her house or in her apartment at her assisted living, even if she is is in the memory care put that picture of don’t assume that she’s going to see that picture and not remember the event. You don’t know that now, and if she has a moment of clarity and that picture brings her joy, the creativity that you just came up with with her is something. It can be lasting for both of you. And not only that, but when the time comes that she does leave this earth, wouldn’t you like to have wonderful memories to look back exactly exactly? You know, a lot of our listeners are scrap bookers. I think I think it would great if you have that desire to do a scrap book of the event, the experience, certainly create some sort of a lasting, you know, memorialization of what you’ve done so that they can enjoy it after, after the events over. You know, I know with my mom, I gave her a, I think it was her seventy, yes, seventy birthday party and I actually got several of her Swedish relatives to to fly out for it night and it was a huge surprise party for her and here was her relatives and you know, the party last just a few hours and she was blown away, but here she had all the love of her relatives and they stayed for a week after. So that they spent the time with her and you know, but we had this experience of a week, and so what you know they did is they they had pictures out, they remembered moments together, and I think that’s the thing that you know, if we remember to video when we’re having these conversations, when we remember to, you know, somehow document what we talked about, because those moments are gone and when they go home it’s like you don’t remember you were there and some day your mom and dad may not be around, but those memories are very important. It’s part of your heritage. So there should be as important to our families as they are to your mom are your dad, most definitely. And it doesn’t have to be elaborate, know if you’re not that kind of person, just just some simple pictures of the beautiful day that you shared. Because again, you can go to a lot of trouble to plan an event, but if you didn’t take a couple of minutes to remember it, yeah, you know, to take a minute to revel in it, you know, to really enjoy what you what you’ve done, you know, because again, you have to remember our memories. Our memories are what make us different than the other animals. Absolutely the fact that we’re able to sit back and really enjoy our memories and you want to have positive, happy things to look back on. Yeah, and and really understanding the whole option of you know, just don’t make it ordinary. You know, think about how you know, I have a saying that I love. A matter of fact, it’s on my voicemail for anybody that’s called me and gone to voice mail. It’s is make your day a masterpiece. It’s like, think about the moment that you can capture and make the most out of. And you know, it’s little things. It’s like, you know, there’s a lady that I’ve been talking to recently that she’s having a hard time getting a ride to go tour of a community and you know what, it’s not a big deal. It’s like, you know what, I’ll go pick you up, I’ll go take you it’s fine, I’ll figure it out. And those are the things. I think that’s really important for all of us to remember. Is it’s going to be, you know, an hour out of my day. It’s not a big deal, but it’s something that’s important to her that she does it and it makes me feel good about my life. And those are things that you know, the quality of experiences that we have. Don’t negate what they do for yourself at all. And and you know it’s Kelly. It’s funny because people will say to me, you know about twelve days of goodness, you must be exhausted, and I go yes, I’m exhausted, been in a good way and I am so blessed to have twelve days of memories with seniors that to hear their stories, to touch their hearts for as long as I get to do that, that is a gift to me like no other holiday event could be. And it’s yes, it’s being creative, it’s stepping outside the box to say we can do this. And Kelly, you’re the same person. We think of ways that we can do things uniquely and fun and how we can make every moment count, and I think that’s the the message of today. Would you not agree? I completely agree. And the other thing is, don’t think that just because grandma’s eighty, she’s not gonna love a birthday cake. Don’t, don’t men, don’t assume anything. You know what, Mom and dad’s anniversary, just because dad died doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to celebrate that time she had with him. You know, if they had a recent loss, don’t assume that you know that kid’s birthdays coming up and hope we don’t want to bring it up to mom. Talk to her about it. Maybe she’d like to have a birthday cake in honor of the child she lost. Exact you know, are we are? We Are we taking the minute to not make assumptions and actually talk about things and still celebrate the life that has been brought into this world and celebrate the things that make them happy? You know, we’ve got people that are still married in our communities and we do things like anniversary parties and and, you know, go hog wild and and really throw a big party form because that’s something to be celebrated if you’re still married after fifty years. You know, it’s what can you do to also not just not just try to find things throughout the day that bring them joy, but what about highlighting the accomplishments? I love that. Love that, you know, it’s like, what is their legacy to you? Let them know it now. You know, dad, I remember that you did this and you did that and I will always remember those things and throughout my life and those are things. I think that is important to a parent to know that how they are valued and how they are recognized for you absolutely well, and also taking the time to sometimes all seniors really want is just to have somebody to tell their story to. You don’t have to plan a great big party, but sometimes just sitting down when your loved one and saying, you know, I never knew how you met dad. You ever want to tell me about that? You know, you know how’d you come up with my name, you know, just lat of things, but those funny little things can can be a story that make you not only feel closer to them, but then they get to share something with you that’s part of your story. And if they’ve hurt it tells you the story before. Let him tell it again. Don’t negate the fact that they’re sharing it. It’s important to them and they might have told the story fifty times, but they want to tell it again. It’s okay. I’m okay. It’s always okay. It’s always always okay, instead of say mom, you already told me that. No, let let them share, let them get you know, it’s an important moment to them and having me the ability to honor somebody that you love in that way will add to your own quality of life, and I this is what I absolutely promise you. It’s like, you know, people say all the time, people in our industry, Kelly, you and I. Yes, we do a lot for the community and we do a lot to step out and we do lot, you know, to put ourselves out there. But you know what, we get the rewards tenfold, don’t we? We sure do, we sure do. There’s nothing more wonderful in the world and stepping into a community and somebody coming up behind you and pat me on the rear and say, I’ve missed your kid. How you doing? Yeah, missed you. Do you mean Old Lady? How are you? You have together exactly, and you know it’s wonderful. You know, you just love it and it’s like, you know, that’s my that’s my little person, and and it makes you so happy to see him and know that that that you made enough of an impact on them that they’re happy to see you when you come in. It’s a beautiful thing, but it’s also because you made them feel like a person and talk about how many times I hear you know, my dad is really grumpy and he won’t leave the House and he won’t do this and won’t do that. That’s fear, and the best way to dislodge that fear with a loved one that might all they do is sit in front of a tvl day because and they don’t eat right and they don’t take care of themselves. It’s probably because they’re too afraid and they feel vulnerable. And yet their pride keeps them in that spot. And so the pride takes over and they get cranky and and cross. And you know the best way to dislodge that talk about a pattern. Interrupt do something outrageous, do something crazy, do something fun. You know, walk in and say, Dad, I brought root beer floats today. There you go. Why not? Because all it breaks up the momentum and gets them in a better frame of mind. Yeah, and you don’t do it once and quit. You keep doing it until that pattern is broken. Yeah, and it does make a difference. We’ve seen people time and time again that have been in that situation and you just keep pushing, you just keep trying, until the next thing you know they’re one of the happiest people you’ve ever seen because somebody cared enough to help them feel better about their situation. Absolutely absolutely, and really to understand to you that you know they are valued enough that you just did something a little bit extra before you came in, just for them. That tells them so much more than a route by float. Is. Says that you went to this store. You thought about them in advanced you thought about what they would like. You know. Or Dad, guess what, I brought a movie for us to watch. Yeah, you know, something like that together, activities together, can mean everything, and it do want tost the ability to spend time. Exactly. Do you honestly think that I enjoyed watching Lawrence Wilk? No, not at all, but I did it with my grandmother because it was one of her favorite things. Yeah, and because she enjoyed it, I got to where I actually got in he hall. I remember watching he hall with Grandma. But you know what, it made her happy. Yeah, happy. And you know, you touched on something else about hearing the same stories over and over again. Do you ever get here tired of hearing I love you, you don’t tell something. You said that already. I’ve already heard that today. No, we don’t get tired of that. Sometimes our parents are grandparents. It’s telling us I remember when you were born, boy, you were a funny looking Kenny. You Roll Your eyes and it’s like here, we’re gonna heard this before you know what, maybe that’s their way of saying I love you. Yeah, so why not just go with it? And here’s the thing. It’s not about what they say, it’s who they are when they say it. They are thinking about you with a special moment, and special moments being everything, and this has been such a special hour with you, Kelly. We’ve got to talk about creativity more often. I agree with you. Yeah, yeah, and so for everyone else that is here joined us today. First of all, Kelly, I am still thrilled that you are our partner in this venture as we become the voice in elder care here, not only through the greater puget sound but also on all the major podcast platforms. So please reach out Kelly’s on there. We have an amazing amount of content on your favorite podcast platform. Just check us out online and in the meantime, this week, just know it’s a new year, it’s a new start. Think about ways you can be creative with your loved one. And for everyone else that are listening, please be good to each other and tell next. The preceding podcast was provided by care partners living and answers for elders radio. To contact care partners living, go to care partners livingcom