Guiding Your Grandchildren

Sally and her husband David were finishing their coffee after enjoying breakfast together, as was their custom. “Is this the day you and Charlotte are meeting?” David asked. 

After completing the 16-unit Grandcoaching course she had learned about online, Sally had begun meeting with two of her granddaughters, Phyllis, an active 10-year-old, and Charlotte, a studious 20-year-old student at a local university. 

“Yes, we are scheduled to meet after her classes this afternoon. She’s coming to the house; she has a video she wants me to see. Lately, she’s had a lot of questions for me about the Bible, about how it came to be written, and about the miracles Jesus performed. Somehow, I have a suspicion that this video will do more to undermine her faith than to strengthen it, even though she says it has answered some of her questions.”

“I suspect this will be a challenging session,” David replied. “What did you say the title of this video was?”

“It was a foreign-sounding name—she pronounced it, but I didn’t write it down. I had the impression it had something to do with the defining spirit or mood of a particular period of history, based on the ideas and beliefs common to that time.’ I’m not sure until I see it I’ll understand what it’s all about.”

“Sounds like you’ll have an opportunity to use those skills we learned about in the Grandcoaching course– active listening, asking perceptive questions, communicating in a caring way. You have always been good with our grandchildren even before we took the course.”

“But now I certainly feel better equipped to take on a challenge like this one,” Sally rinsed her coffee cup and placed it in the sink. “Time for both of us to head out.”

Grandparenting Mandate

Many Christian grandparents subscribe to the adage that ‘It is the divine right of grandparents to spoil their grandchildren.’ Others feel a responsibility to offer advice and even criticism. However, Scripture defines a much more important role for grandfathers and grandmothers. That role is spelled out in the words of Moses to the nation of Israel as they prepared to enter the Promised Land. This is what he told them in Deuteronomy 6:1, 2.

Now this is the commandment and these are the statutes and judgments which the Lord your God has commanded to teach you…. That you may fear the Lord your God to keep all his statutes and his commandments which I command you, you and your son and your grandson all the days of your life, so that your days may be prolonged.

These words, written centuries ago, have clear mandates for 21^st-century parents and grandparents alike. 

First, we are responsible for setting a Godly example, obeying Scripture as we live out our lives before our children and grandchildren. If we fail in this, it is highly unlikely that they will pay attention to any biblical principles or counsel we may share with them. 

Second, we are to communicate biblical truth and values to both our children and grandchildren. We see this principle played out in the life of Timothy who, according to the Apostle Paul, had been instructed in faith by his grandmother Lois and his mother Eunice. (2 Timothy 1:5) 

The Deuteronomy 6 passage further develops how this process of biblical values communication should take place. Verse 6 makes it clear that we must first apply in our own hearts and lives what we would seek to communicate to our grandchildren. Verse 6 recommends five categories of opportunity for passing along biblical values as follows:

• Times of formal meeting for biblical interaction and instruction, such as what Sally was carrying out with Charlotte
• Informal ‘time of opportunity’ when “seated in your house. . .” such as mealtime or when relaxing at home
• Travel time, “When you walk by the way. . .” e.g. providing transportation to school or a multigenerational family vacation
• Bedtime, “When you lie down. . .” which provides an excellent opportunity for sharing Bible stories with younger grandchildren and pre-bedtime discussions with those who are older
• Breakfast time, “When you rise up. . . an opportune time for discussing the challenges of the day ahead

The objective is the transmission of biblical truth from generation to generation. Grandparents who take seriously the mandates and take advantage of the opportunities spelled out in this passage, have an eternal impact on their grandsons.

Years ago my wife and I were traveling from our home in Kansas City to visit relatives in Colorado. Our two oldest grandsons– the only ones who had been born at that time– were traveling with us in our station wagon, along with two of our children. It was on that trip that an extended conversation about what it means to trust Christ as Savior and why it is important led to our then-youngest grandson Albert praying to receive Christ as his Savior. That special occasion became even more significant when Albert lost his life at age 21.

Exposed to Danger

That evening over dinner Sally began, “Let me update you about my meeting with Charlotte and what she told me about the video.”

“Did you watch it with her?” David asked.

“We only watched a part of it together, because it was so loud in the coffee shop where we met that we could barely hear the sound. But it was worse than I thought.

“It was well produced, with graphics that fit the message. But the message– that was something else. It started out talking about ‘The greatest story ever told,’ however the story it told had nothing to do with how we recognize that phrase.”

David frowned as Sally continued. “Let me tell you about some of what I saw. The video continued talking about the sun as an object of worship by early peoples, then proceeded to present a lot of details about the zodiac. 

“But that wasn’t the worst of it! The video talked about an Egyptian god, who supposedly was born on December 25, of a virgin, worked miracles, had 12 disciples, was crucified, and resurrected on the third day. It went on to basically offer the same story about a number of other gods. I found that shocking!”

“So what did they say about Jesus and the Bible?” David asked.

“That’s what I considered to be the worst of it, “Sally continued. “The video claimed that Jesus was the ‘most recent’ of these so-called gods, and it was at this point where Charlotte and I had to stop. It was essentially claiming that the biblical account of Jesus was a fabricated copy of these other religions, all of which were based on astrology!”

“So what did Charlotte say, and what did you say to her?” David went on.

“Well, at first I wasn’t sure what to say. So, I did what Nehemiah did when he was questioned by King Artaxerxes in Nehemiah 2. After I shot off a quick prayer for wisdom, I asked Charlotte what she thought about it.”

“And she said?” David wore a puzzled look.

“That’s the good news,” Sally replied. “At first, she said she thought it made sense. That was when I began asking her if she really thought that everything we believed about Christ in the Bible, and everything she had been taught, was based on some pagan myth. Fortunately, she had been reading Josh McDowell’s book Evidence that Demands a Verdict, and she admitted that the video certainly didn’t fit everything Josh said.”

Asking for Help

“So where did you leave things with her?” David queried with obvious concern.

“I told Charlotte I knew just the person to ask for his evaluation–Dr. Sam Phillips, who taught apologetics for years at our alma mater. I suspected he had dealt with this very thing.”

“That’s a great idea, Sally,” David responded with a measure of enthusiasm. 

The following week Sally pulled out a printed copy of the email she had received from Dr. Phillips and shared it with her granddaughter.

“The topic you asked me about is a familiar one,” his email began. “The ‘Jesus borrowed from pagan myths’ idea has cropped up several times over the last century. It has been repeatedly debunked, and few if any reputable scholars hold this view. Let me explain further.

• Almost all the written sources for these pagan myths are dated after the New Testament Gospels. So if there is any borrowing going on, it is the myths borrowing from Christianity.
• The alleged parallels between the myths and Jesus are, at best, generalities and word associations. I have studied this at length, and none of these myths actually have a virgin birth story, even though this is claimed in the parallels. In most cases, the birth of the ‘god’ involved a pagan ‘god’ having relations with a human woman. 
• Regarding the resurrection, some of these myths have stories of a god dying, then ‘coming back to life’ in some vague sense. But none of them actually paralleled the Judeo-Christian concept of bodily resurrection. In fact, the word resurrection is not used in any of them. 
• Finally, as you will see when you dig deeper, many of these alleged parallels have simply been made up out of thin air by modern writers on this topic.”

“Dr. Phillips recommended a YouTube channel, “Inspiring Philosophy,” and a book titled Reinventing Jesus,” Sally summarized her conversation with her granddaughter to her husband. “Charlotte agreed to check out the YouTube channel tonight, and I’ll order a copy of the book for her.”

So, what can we take away from the account of the grandmother, the granddaughter, and the video?

• It’s vital to build a relationship with our grandchildren based on Deuteronomy 6, so that when something like this video enters the picture, we will be ready to respond.
• Using the life coaching tools and strategies taught in the Grandcoaching course, such as asking cultivating questions and active listening, will open the door to a more effective result than an immediate negative imperative.
• Never hesitate to seek out someone who may know more about the subject in question than you do. Proverbs speaks frequently about the value of the ‘multitude of counselors.’

Following these guidelines will provide us with the best opportunity to offer guidance our grandchildren are likely to accept. To learn more about the 16-unit video-based course on how to use Christian life coaching skills to communicate and influence your grandchildren, visit www.grandcoaching.org.