How to Talk to Someone with Alzheimer’s or Other Types of Dementia
Whether it’s a friend or family member, odds are, you might know someone who is struggling with Alzheimer’s or another form of dementia. It could be your parent, grandparent, or someone in your community but regardless of who it is, it’s important to understand how to speak to them on top of taking care of them. Why? Because, if you can’t effectively communicate you might not be able to effectively provide the best service to them whether you’re a caregiver or loved one. It all starts with patience and compassion. If you find yourself in this situation, keep an open mind and worry not, here are the best strategies for how to talk to someone with Alzheimer’s or other forms of dementia.
What is Dementia?
Dementia is a generalized term that refers to memory loss as well as decline in someone’s thinking and cognitive functioning. While it can come in many forms, such as vascular or frontotemporal, the most common is Alzheimer’s. According to the Alzheimer’s Association, this particular disease contributes up to 60-80% of the cases reported.
Keep your attention on the symptoms. Does someone you know have difficulties completing or staying focused on day-to-day tasks? Are they feeling timid, sad, or even resentful with the confusion? These are all common signs.
The biggest factor to consider is that dementia is progressive. So, as symptoms get worse over time, your ability to be empathetic and patient should be on the forefront. You can be direct but not overwhelming in your speech, and you can also give non-verbal communication such as gestures that will serve as cues and not confuse them further.
Here are some other important things to know.
Communication Strategies for Alzheimer’s and Dementia Care
People generally appreciate a good listener. Being proactively attentive to someone speaking is good practice for any aspect of life. But for those with dementia, it’s especially important. Start with patience. Being patient will serve a great deal in making a person with dementia feel validated rather than irritated. Be sure to speak calmly, slowly and maintain eye contact. Make them feel as you would want to feel if you were giving a speech to a large group. After all, we all would want to feel that we have the audience on our side. So for someone with dementia or Alzheimer’s, keep in mind that this would serve the same purpose even as a one-on-one conversation. It’s best to be more relatable in what they are trying to convey instead of disagreeing or pointing out the mistakes. Avoid arguments as much as possible. Instead, offer reassurance.
Building Connection
Regardless of your relationship to someone with dementia, creating a lifestyle centered around the individual would be a great start for building rapport and establishing a connection. Be supportive as much as you can and really get to know them if you don’t know them well enough already. This will make it easier to create a lifestyle suited for them through what is called “person-centered care.” For example, it’s best to keep photographs of familiar faces as well as familiar objects around to keep them in good spirits through reminiscing. Learn what they enjoy and keep this incorporated into the daily flow of things, whether it’s art, music, or even exercise. You may even jot down some stories to tell for when they are feeling down. It’s all about positivity. Combining their interests and feelings will help you communicate with them on a deeper level in a personalized environment.
Responding to Challenging Behaviors
It’s no secret that whoever you are looking after will have some challenging responses or behavior in dealing with their disease. But it’s extremely important to recognize when this happens so you can respond appropriately. This can include being irritable or agitated and responding with repetition or withdrawal. The most efficient way to do this is by identifying what may trigger the reactions and follow through with solutions that will enhance the power of communication.
In times of agitation, try a distraction or a redirection of what they may be feeling or experiencing into something familiar. It may be a perfect time for a story. For repetition, avoid pointing out the obvious that they have repeated the same phrase or asked the same question. Instead, offer support and reassurance in your responses. Let them know they are heard and that their feelings are valid. There’s nothing more reassuring than being reminded you are in control of your own life when it feels the opposite. While you can apply this to your care techniques for those with dementia, you can also remind them as much as possible that they’re still in control of their communication abilities too. Be emotionally supportive in times of difficulty and it will offer a greater sense of comfort.
Caregiver Self-Care and Support
Like most things in life, no one said it would be easy. But the continued effort from caregivers and loved ones who care for those with dementia does not go unnoticed. While it is often rewarding it does come with equal amounts of stress and fatigue. Although, taking care of yourself while taking care of others is achievable and should be practiced regularly. Keeping yourself as healthy as those in your care is a delicate balance between mental and physical self-care. While exercise is never a bad thing, exercising your mind will do wonders and alleviate the emotional toll of caregiving. Give yourself a break by spending time with family, friends, or even other caregivers. There are plenty of options out there to find support groups for caregivers and among caregivers. Some notable examples include:
- AARP
- Alzheimer’s Association
- Family Caregiver Alliance
It’s also worth noting that your faith-based community is an excellent source of support. At the end of the day, remember that for as much as you make a difference you are NOT alone.
Creating a Communication-Friendly Environment
As established, communication plays a critical role in caregiving. But the environment in which the care is received can contribute significantly to effective communication. Distractions can be a good thing to de-escalate certain issues arising with symptomatic behavior, try to limit them in their surroundings. You will want to create a serene environment for the individual full of familiarity and less added confusion. It would also be beneficial to create visual cues such as notes around the home to serve as reminders or kind gestures. You can also place necessary items in designated or familiar places. This could potentially reduce the need for de-escalation practices in communication by avoiding the stress of misplaced items. Routines are also a valuable asset, such as designating times and areas for daily habits and activities. A sense of comfort and security through familiarity and less triggering surroundings can help both you and those in your care feel more at ease and offer opportunity for better communication.
The Bottom Line on Communication
We all need support sometimes, in one way or another. But it is with that support that we find the means to carry on. For anyone who is or will be dealing with the brought on hardships accompanied with dementia, the support given directly by caregivers, loved ones and friends will make all the difference in their quality of life. Following the fundamental communication practices will directly correlate to the quality of care you can provide. Keep compassion and you will maintain a strong connection. Keep patience and you will maintain a better understanding. Remember, allowing them to feel comfortable under your care can make communication less worrisome and more meaningful. A little empathy will definitely go a long way.
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Originally published September 23, 2024
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