Daphne Davis at Pinnacle Senior Placements discusses the lifestyle of senior loved ones when senior housing is being considered. The reality is that if their loved ones move into retirement living, some hobbies and interests are hard to pursue without a garage or yard. We consider how to maintain those interests in a fulfilling way, or discover if they might try some new hobbies they’ve been curious about. The goal is to keep their world as big as possible, while still being safe.
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*The following is the output of transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors.
The following podcast is provided by pinnacles senior placements LLC and answers for elders radio. Welcome back to answers for elders. This is chuck olmstead filling in for Suzanne Newman. Our guest today the full hour is Daphnee Davis with pinnacles senior placements. Daphne, you and I have covered some really interesting topics about caregiver burn out, about honesty, about good communication and and all of that. You know, it’s it’s really interesting as I’ve been working with with my family and talking about the potential of a transition into a senior facility or senior housing and all the decisions that go into that. And so what are this what are some of the things that you would point out to our listeners as far as the consideration of moving into a into a different place, whether that’s aging in place or whether that’s senior housing or if it’s, you know, in home care, all that sort of things? What are the things that are are happening with the loved one that you need to key into? That’s a loaded question. A lot is there’s a lot to think about. Some of the obvious. Let’s just quickly go through the obvious location. Where is the only living you know, when you’re starting the search of looking for some place, you have to have a geographical area. Quick thought on that. If there’s multiple siblings or support people to our senior I don’t recommend having it in the center of everybody, but have it close to someone so that it’s not an event for everyone to be responsive or visiting or interactive with their loved one. Finances another obvious one that we need to have an open conversation about finances. What budget do we have to work with? My personal position, and pinnacles position, is that we have a certain amount of responsibility to help families be fiscally responsible with their family estate and to maximize the buying power of their dollar, and so that can kind of goes into the next step is disease processes. You know, what is going on is their heart issues. Has there been a pacemaker? Our kidneys failing? Are you physically healthy? In your mind? Is Challenging you? Are you just generally tired, just weak? You know our I’m just I’m fighting a little bit of depression and I’m having some isolation issues. Is that enough to consider moving? So we look location, finances, health processes, what’s going on physically and emotionally, and then we think about in terms of lifestyle, and this is where we can get into lots of weeds and where people trip up a lot. Family members may say, Gosh, you know, my mom really likes quilting and needlework and she’s talked about wanting to do some art things. And might you know, let’s say it’s a spousal, married couple, and my dad likes to go out and drive and he was a putterer and was fixing things all the time, and so I get to know a little bit about what’s going on. Now, the reality is, if you’re moving into retirement living or senior living of any kind, the garage isn’t there. HM, the yard isn’t there. But how can we duplicate that those interests in a way that will be fulfilling? Or how, from those interests that we have, are they in a position to be able to think about new item that they have been mildly curious about or has been suggestive? Or if somebody’s been looking through a magazine and they got gosh, that would have been fun. I’ve always thought about doing that. Those are the kind of things that we think about in terms of having a really healthy placement, and I don’t really like that word, but your next chapter of life. What is that going to look like and how can we keep your your world as big as possible but still safe? Usually there’s a safety issue when people are thinking about leaving their home. Occasionally people are just like, I am just tired of maintaining my house. M Great, we got all guys option and right, but it’s seldom that that a right. That happens and that goes back to our our our personhood, who we are independent. MMM Yeah, so, so we look at that. We also will then look at how, in the disease processes, is this a community that someone could stay long term if things changed? If the disease process is such that there are predictabilities that things may happen, do we want to factor those things in? And that’s a that’s a sticky place for families because if someone’s in their home to make a leap to where they may have to be, let’s use fall risk. Someone’s a fall risk or they’ve got severe arthritis and your legs aren’t working. Everything else is working, but I just can’t bear my own weight, that’s going to potentially move into a two person transfer. We, as a family, do we want to think about right now today, knowing that we may have to move again? So we’re going to choose something with a little lower care. May Not be able to do to person transfers, which is absolutely fine. But you as a family need to be thinking about those things and that’s where someone from pinnacles in your placements can help you in discerning what are our family’s highest values? What is the most important thing? And that comes with conversation with mom or Dad. Right we know how much energy it takes just for, you know, a thirty year old to move. Now we got an eighty year old moving. It’s a lot of energy. Do we want to do that more than one time? What is more important at this given time? Right now, have we been seeing things in my three legged stool of nutrition, hydration and medication? If one of those is falling and not have full attention, the other two will generally go. Is that going on and it’s more about just getting my meals, my medication and someone encouraging me to have some more liquids? That that looks differently. You know, if that’s all it is and there’s nothing else going on with your body. There’s no disease processes happening. Oh my goodness, let’s just get that. Let’s get that three legged stool really firmed up. Lots to think about. There is, and you know it is for me as I’ve been working with answers for olders for a while now. You know my wife and I have I’m sixty three years old. I’m still ways away from retirement, HM, but my wife and I have have ongoing conversations about when we get to that point where we need to retire, is it best to begin to make a transition, because my kids are on the east coast. So I think what I really want to move at say seventy five or seventy eight, with health declining and want to make that big of a move? Or do I move quicker at my do I move sooner to be closer to family, to make it honestly, to make it easier on them? I don’t want to put my kids through a situation where they’ve got to come out from the East Coast and say you gotta you gotta move, let’s pack up that, let’s pack up I don’t want my kids packing me up. I want to make that decision for them so that, first of all, it takes that stress away from them and, second of all, it gives me the options of what I wear, I want to go and and I want to what I want to do. That’s right. But let’s add another thought. They’re not only is it a gift and less stress for your family, but it also gives you and your wife the opportunity to develop a life wherever you’re moving to that you are still driving, you’re still cognitive, you’re going to find a church community, you’re going to get involved with, you know, whatever your interests are, and you can do that while you’re able, bodied, right, quick minded, have some energy, some curiosity and that your body isn’t dictating your your level of energy as much as it could in the next ten, fifteen years if you make that. So really it’s a gift to yourself as well. Yes, you’re thinking amazingly well, because you can make that change. That’s what my parents did. My parents moved from Minnesota out here. I was very clear, all of us siblings lived out here, that we were not going to go live in northern Minnesota again. It right. So if you want to see your grandkids and you want some going to help you, come on out right. And so they moved out in the early two and three I think, and it was the best decision in my mind, and I think for my parents as well, that they were close by, but they were able to create a community for themselves. They had a support system, and so then when my dad developed Parkinson’s and Louis Body Dementia, he had his friends from church, he had his neighbors who knew him. They they understood if I see Gil at midnight out in the backyard, I better call somebody where. That’s not normal. I know Gil well enough to know that’s not normal. That was a huge asset for my parents and in them gracefully aging, gracefully seen doing their senior living stint right. So I applaud you. I think that’s great thinking. Well, you know, I’m not planning to leave in any time of the well, I absolutely not, but you know, but those are the conversations that we as as a couple need to have. That’s right, and it doesn’t mean you have to act on them. No, you may, out of that come up and say, you know what we really like, Pacific northwest living and we’re going to figure out how we can make that happen here. And maybe that means we put things in place financially or we talked about or we explore or we talked to Daphne had in a pinnacle right and say what does this what does independent living mean? What does CECRC mean? What does you know assisted living mean, and learn what what that’s all about. Yeah, it’s being proactive, it’s thinking. I had it’s because once you make those decisions and we have that conversation about, you know, the things that I lined out earlier, in our conversation, then we start exploring and we start really getting our eyes and one woman yesterday said to me, Daphney, I really thought I wanted to move it, move to, you know, such and such a community. I really didn’t like the feel of the lobby. It felt dark. And then, and her husband said, and it was noisy and they’ve been there a number of times. They put money down on it and they were like this is where we’re going to move. And now there’s their second get. It’s a journey. Yeah, you know, it’s a process and they don’t want to move again. Yeah, so they want to make a good decision that can help them through there to the last breath, and the lobby was kind of bucking them. Yeah, now, help me understand. There are some senior communities, assisted living or independent. Where can you go do like a trial week or a trial a few trial days? Talk to talk to me about that. That falls under that respite. We use that word there. It’s kind of evolving in terms of having that trial run or come to the hotel. Just get a feel for that. You definitely can do that it. Would you recommend that? I do like it for some situations if you’re just kind of testing the water and there’s not a lot of cognitive problems, that there’s cognitive issues going on and too much information will be more confusing and no decision will be made and it will cause people to freeze up. I don’t recommend that then. But if you’re a married couple and you want to go look, or you’re single, you know you’re single and you just want to go try things out, yeah, talk to the community, Talk to you know, your professional advisor that’s helping you, and say can I just stay there for a week? I want to get to know what the feeling is there. Are some guidelines to all of that. It can be a little bit expensive, depending upon the community that you’re choosing and what their policies are corporately, but certainly doable. Again, ask questions right, will guide you. There you go. Well, that is Daphne. Ask questions and Shill help. Well, we’re going to go. Come back for a final segment. Here we’re speaking with Daphne Davis. She’s the President Owner of pinnacle senior placements and a really nice person. Thank you. Will be right back. The preceding podcast was provided by pinnacles senior placements LLC and answers for elders radio. To contact pinnacles senior placements, go to Pinnacle Senior Placementscom.
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Originally published May 18, 2019