Types of Senior Living Options with Daphne Davis

*The following is the output of transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors.

The following podcast is provided by pinnacles senior placements LLC and answers for elders radio. And Welcome back to answers for elders radio everyone. We are here again with our wonderful Daphne from pinnacles senior placements. Daphanie, welcome back. Thank you so much. You know you are our expert spotlight this month on answers for elders radio and we are getting a lot of inquiries through our through this month as we’ve been talking about housing options. Is You know, people don’t know necessarily that there’s different types. They just think, like you mentioned earlier in their earlier interview, about don’t put me in a home. There’s this perception out there that senior living is like a nursing home and that’s just not the case. So would you kind of give our listeners a little overview of the different types? Absolutely, I’ll try and give that sistinctly here, because there are broad brushes that we’re going to have to assume. I will make the distinction that I help people usually when they have to have help with their at ADL’s or activities of daily living. So most people I don’t help. Our independent seniors, because that’s very clear and evident easy to see. The Independent Ring. They I don’t know. You don’t that way. No. And so the first area is in dependent living and that’s where they’re usually is not a care plan. There’s nothing tied to and again they’re called activities of daily living, which includes bathing, toileting, walking, eating, showering. Yeah, dressing, gross. They’re six of them. Thank you. So those are usually not available. Usually in an independent living you’ll have a very active lifestyle. Activities will be geared to that. You also, often times it’s like an over fifty five. Yeah, community much. A lot of times it’s I know that there’s a lot of like trailer parks or manufactured homes where seniors can live. You know that it’s an over fifty five. That’s really common. It’s yes, it is common. And sometimes the piece of looking at independent living is because mom or dad just don’t want to walk out in the rain to get their mail anymore. It’s usually inside a building. Sometimes is a broad spectrum of what that looks like. I had a woman just yesterday call and say I want to move out of my house, but I need a garage. I want a garage. I’m keeping my car, so find a place with a garage. The other thing is that we then move into assisted living, and assistant living usually is what that big apartment like looking building that does provide some care and support for activities of daily living. It usually is where you have to be able, in my opinion, to advocate for yourself that you know how to make good decisions still, that you, as a person who’s receiving care and assistant living, would probably not isolate yourself regularly, be open to work, to excuse me, having meals with other people in a large dining room. Assistant living is getting very sophisticated in terms of feeling a lot like kind of cruise living a little bit. Yeah, but with the addition of support with daily activities of living well and the beauty of assistant living, which I love, you could come into a community and be completely independent and maybe need help with just bathing, you know, and getting dressed, because you’re not you maybe have a few little mobility issues and you just want a little support there and they will provide that and you can still stay in your apartment and be drive your car and do different things. Like that and go down to a wonderful restaurant and have three meals a day and be spoiled like crazy. You don’t have to worry about yard work, you don’t have to worry about maintaining home or property taxes. Ever, also saying crazy. And then the Nice thing about assisted living is that you can morph into having somebody take care of you as your needs increase. It’s a day, increase it. It’s exactly right. So that’s an environment that is pretty flexible with activities of daily living and usually as most effective, in my opinion, and in with people who don’t have cognition issues, because cognition challenges are progressive and I have some strong feelings about that that I’d love to share it another time. But but that is a very viable option in terms of stepping stone your care. We then move into the option of memory care, as I had just said, and memory care is in most buildings now you do have to have a formal diagnosis of some kind of dementia. There’s over a hundred different kinds of a dementia and it can be anything from very early on set. So you could be a younger person and still receive care it could be that you’re in the beginning stages to the end stages of a dementia process. Right and in a memory care situation you usually have anywhere from like twenty five to, on average, maybe sixty people in the care community. Usually care ratio is about one to twelve. Yeah, a caregiver there, and it also allows for very scheduled activities, which is really important for those that have yes issues, Yep, for someone who has nervous energy and needs to have an outlet for that. They’re usually bigger. So there’s walking paths, there’s the schedule of activities really keep someone focused with their energy levels, and so that that’s one option. The for with option that we have in the state of Washington. They’re called adult family homes and that’s where you actually live in a homelike environment with a maximum of six people. You receive twenty four hour care. They are regulated, just like the assistant living in memory care are regulated and they fall under the same licensing process process that those other two communities do. The the pluses of an adult family home are when someone needs a lot of care, heavy care, maybe bedridden, also the piece of somebody being in the beginning stages of memory, cognition issues, being flexible to walking through that journey with them. Another another benefit is sometimes, if you feel like your loved one will be overwhelmed by a large community, the smaller community can be very, very appropriate right and I think to depending on your you know your loved one. If your loved one is more social, they probably would do better in a larger community because they have the interaction live. They might. But I’ll push back just a little. Okay, that because every I’m going to make a broad statement here. Everybody’s journey is is you. I’ve can definitely, and so the assumptions that we sometimes make are just that. Yeah, but that person also might do better in a smaller environment where they feel empowered, that they feel like the queen or King, where they’re their contribution in life still matters. Sometimes you can get lost in that larger community and you don’t have regular activities, particularly for men. I think when a man can be outside and there might be a project or just mowing the lawn and they can say you miss that corner, they get to be the supervisor. You know that’s important. It is it’s it’s the contribution to life. Again, all things have to be looked at uniquely. So we are talking to Daphne Davis from pinnacles senior placements and definitely tell us about how you work with families in this process. Well, the first things that happen is I get a phone call and then I say, can I meet with you? Can I meet with your loved ones? I am a pretty, pretty big stickler on I need to lay eyes on the people that I am interacting with. So I don’t work over the phone, I don’t work over the internet or the facts machine. I’m working face-to-face. So I meet with you as you feel as appropriate, and that’s usually about an hour, and learn a little bit about what the story and the journey is and then, if it is appropriate for having some change in housing, I do research based on what they’d highest values are, hmm, and then we tour together. So I really hand hold you through the whole process. A theme that’s kind of coming up for me is I’m learning that families really don’t know what they don’t know and they’re they’re saying it now. Now they’re they’re have enough information exposed to them that they’re like, I don’t even know what that phrase means I’m here to help you. And you know, this industry is notorious from using phrase phrases like a giles yeah or CCRC’s and all these things that we say. And the in the industry that the average family looks as at us with a blank stare and they and they don’t feel like they should stop us and say what does that mean? I mean I love when they do, yes, because I think sometimes we say things and we just don’t even realize what even terms like assisted living again, what does that mean? And and so to understand that we need to do a better job as professionals. But I think also the fact that you take that personal time with a family to help them understand the process. It takes so much stress off of it. And I think the other factor, which is the big factor, it’s not my kids are pushing me to do something that I don’t want to do. It’s like it’s empowering the your senior elder to be able to say, you know what I’m working with Daphne. Daphne knows and he’s heard what I have to say. I don’t have any emotional you know, games are at things that go on with my kids and there’s that dynamic. The big dynamic is I’m the mother, I’m the father, and that will never change, by the way, it folks, never you know, and that’s the dance that we have to learn. How you do? Yes, how do we? You know, I’m working with a couple families right now. I could tell you story after story of, you know, the daughter desperately wanting to make decisions for her parents, but her parents won’t allow her and she’s got this undying commitment to honoring her parents. And how does she do the right thing and still keep that honor? Be the daughter. You be the daughter and you let Daphne come out you. And you know, what I have found to is there so often that a senior will say something to you or to me that they will never say to their family, right, because they don’t want to lose face. They still are that parent, and I find that specifically mostly with men. Yeah, it they don’t want to feel vulnerable and they don’t want to be perceived as vulnerable in front of their children. It’s right. So that’s something I think that is really amazing, how you come into the picture and how it does, and that’s that gives me the place of honoring when a father or mother, and it happened just recently that the dad was so gracious of saying to his daughter’s I hear what you’re saying, but I can’t process it as fast as you’re saying it. And I trust you and I just melted. This gentleman was he’s ninety three years old. Just melted and I gave him so much honor to say you just gave your daughters the best gift ever. Yes, you did. To let them know I’m I’ll trust you and I hear the words and I just can’t keep up with you. You know, it’s just my brains. At Ninety three birthdays, yes, well, sometimes it’s sixty two. I have the same issue. So definitely, how do we reach you? You reached me at eight hundred and fifty five, seven thirty four, one thousand five hundred, or at our website, which is pinnacle senior placements. I also have three other people that are supporting in Pinnacle senior placements, as Joline, Erica and Emily. Wonderful, wonderful and we look forward to learning more about them and also everyone. Daphne. Services are free to families here there again so again. It costs you nothing to have somebody like Daphne work for you and there’s no hidden small little print with death. True. Yes, it’s free. Well, we’re thrilled to have you on the show again. Thanks and welcome back. Thanks so much. The preceding podcast was provided by pinnacles senior placements LLC and answers for elders radio. To contact pinnacles senior placements, go to PinnacleSeniorPlacements.com.