22 Ways Aging Parents Need Help From Their Adult Children

Our parents have been the center of our lives forever. Over the years, they’ve raised us, taught us, and helped us every step of the way. Even though we grow up and move on to make our own lives, there comes a time when our parents may need help from us. Here are a few ways that your aging parents may need help from you.

1. Empathy.

It’s frustrating for older people when they can’t do the things they used to do. Instead of getting frustrated with them, put yourself in their shoes and show them some empathy. Listen and give advice if they ask for it.

2. Regular contact.

Older people often get lonely and it’s easy for younger family members to get caught up in their busy lives. According to a study by the University of New Hampshire, social isolation and loneliness have even been estimated to shorten a person’s life span by as many as 15 years. Therefore, it’s important to call your parents regularly. Choose one or two days a week at a specific time and call them. Make sure you set a reminder on your phone so you don’t forget.

3. Distributing burdens equally.

If you have siblings, don’t put all the pressure on yourself to take care of your aging parents. Make a plan with your siblings and talk about how you can rotate days and tasks to make things easier for everyone. If you don’t have siblings, ask your friends if they can help you. Get a group together and then decide who is going to help on what day and what they are going to do. 

4. Looking for (and fixing) problems.

Sometimes, our aging parents forget things, don’t see things, or don’t pay attention. That’s where you come in! Take a day and survey their house or apartment to look for things that need to be repaired. Go through their cabinets and fridge to make sure they have enough essentials like bread, eggs, milk, toilet paper, soap, etc. Also, make sure that they have emergency contact information where it’s easy to see.

5. Advocating for parents.

If your parent is ill, learn all you can about that illness. If they’re on medication, make sure you know how much and how many doses a day. This way, when you accompany them to doctor’s appointments, you know the right questions to ask and can take notes for later. Always be their advocate, especially since there may come a time when they can’t advocate for themselves!

6. Encouraging them to be active.

Staying active physically is important for seniors, so encourage your parents to do so. They could join a fitness class, go to the pool in the summer, or walk every day. There are many benefits to staying active, like endurance, improved balance and strength, and better mood. Being active socially is also important, so make sure your parents have lots of opportunities to socialize with others. 

7. Helping them with their finances.

Keep tabs on your parents’ finances and help them if they need it. They may need help balancing their checkbook, paying bills, or even writing out a deposit or withdrawal slip at the bank. If they need help keeping track of their statements or budget, lend a helping hand there, too!

8. Helping them with their medications.

Make sure you know what medications your parents are on, the dosage, and how often they take them. You may also need to call them to remind them to take their medications. This can be hard when you have a busy life yourself. Look into a program called Pleio GoodStart, which has service representatives that call your loved one and remind them to take their medications. 

9. Assisting them with downsizing.

A big, rambling house may be too much for your aging parents, and they may want to downsize. You can help them by looking for another place, calling a real estate agent, making plans for the move, etc. However, with the actual packing, don’t force your parents to get rid of things they may want to keep! Let them make these decisions on their own.

10. Helping them preserve memories.

Take some time and help them preserve their favorite memories. You could make a book of pictures on Shutterfly (or similar sites), have old VHS tapes transferred to DVD, or fill out a book about their life and favorite memories. Whatever method you choose, make sure you preserve those precious memories! They’re worth more than any heirloom or family treasure.

11. Offering personal care assistance.

As our parents get older, they may no longer do everyday things. They may need a little extra help with dressing, grooming, or feeding themselves. You may even have to help them cook or figure out a way that they can get healthy, delicious meals delivered. This way, they can cook via the microwave if you think that using the stove is not a good option. 

12. Taking them places.

Plan a weekend trip and take them somewhere or take them along when you run errands. They will enjoy getting out and your company.

13. Communicating clearly.

Make sure communication with your parents is transparent. You must listen to them actively, take their concerns seriously, and be their advocate when needed. Being honest and direct is a great way to keep the lines of communication open and uncluttered!

14. Showing respect.

You’re never too old or grown to show your parents respect! Always respect your parents, even if you don’t agree with the choices they’re making. It’s their life. If they want your help to make a decision, they’ll ask. Don’t overstep any boundaries and be respectful and kind.

15. Offering your help when necessary.

It can frustrate seniors when they can’t do the things they used to do. Instead of jumping in right away with help, ask them if they want you to help first. If they do, let them know how good it makes you feel to assist them with everyday tasks.

16. Being sensitive.

Big changes, like downsizing or moving to an assisted living, can be hard on seniors. Be sensitive to your parents’ thoughts and feelings about what is happening. Keep an open mind about their thoughts and feelings. Don’t dismiss or brush aside any concerns they have. Instead, listen, be sensitive, and truly put yourself in their shoes. Treat them how you would like to be treated!

17. Helping them see the positive.

Always try to help them see the positive, no matter what is going on. It truly is the little things in life that can make a difference.

18. Taking care of their pets.

If your parents have pets, make sure they have all the things they need as well. Take stock of supplies like food, flea and tick meds, and toys. Inspect their harness or leash to make sure it’s in good shape. Additionally, make sure they’re up to date on shots and regular exams by checking with the vet. If your parents aren’t able to walk their dog, talk to them about hiring a dog walker. Also, make sure your parents have clear directions in their will on what happens to the animals after they are gone. Let them know if you aren’t able to take their pets. Pets are part of the family, and it’s important to plan for them, too!

19. Keeping tabs on their health.

Keeping tabs on your parents’ health and knowing what’s going on is important! That way, you know when to call the doctor and meet. This also goes for other professionals, including psychiatrists, therapists, etc.

20. Helping them make an end-of-life plan.

If your parents haven’t made an end-of-life plan, sit down and help them do so. You can find lots of information to help guide you and you can also talk to an attorney for guidance.

21. Spending time with them.

Set aside one or two days a week to spend with your parents. You could have family dinners on Sundays or take them out for lunch during the week. Think about what they enjoy doing and take them somewhere. If they like to read, take them to the bookstore or library. Does your dad like to be outdoors? Then take him browsing at an outdoor store like Bass Pro Shops. You could also stay home and do a puzzle, cook or bake together, or watch a movie. It’s also important to encourage them to spend time with their friends as well. If they can still get out and drive, suggest they create a breakfast or lunch club with friends and meet once a week. They could also get together and do a book club, play board games, or do puzzles together.

22. Making their lives easier with deliveries.

Thankfully, we live in a world where we can get just about anything delivered to our homes. This is especially great for older people who either can’t get out or don’t like dealing with crowds. Once a week, sit down with your parents and make a list of the things they need and order them to be delivered. This can be anything from groceries to household items to pet supplies. You can use DoorDash or Grubhub to get food delivered.

Takeaway

There are many ways that we can help our aging parents as they get older. It’s just as important to help them by doing things for them as it is to spend time with them. No matter how you choose to help, they’ll appreciate your effort, love, and support!

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