6 Ways Your Teenage Grandchild Needs You
The day your grandchild draws their first breath heralds a second spring for grandparents. After all, their arrival promises years of sweet memories and happy milestones. However, a savvy grandparent will recognize that beyond the joyful years lies a more difficult time called adolescence. But do they know they can impact their grandchildren during this difficult time? If you’re a grandparent with tween or teen grandkids, this is for you. Here are some ways your teenage grandchildren will need (or already need) you.
They Need Your Presence
Your grandchild won’t remember your presence for many of their “baby firsts” but will remember your presence from a young age. For instance, my mother was hurt when our two-year-old daughter didn’t remember her from her visit the previous year. However, she noticed that her tiny granddaughter collected stuffed cats and bought her an adorable addition to her collection soon after her arrival. That small gesture was the perfect remedy, and her granddaughter’s devotion was ironclad from that moment forward (including her teen years).
Being there when they are young and cute is easy. Being there when they are hormonal and sullen isn’t. Be there anyway. Your teenage grandchildren will likely participate in extracurricular activities as they discover their talents and abilities. If you are able, be there to cheer them on. If you can’t attend a recital or a sporting event, ask how it went. Do your best to let your grandchild know you are invested for the long haul. When they have free time, suggest things you can do together. Take them on a walk or vacation, or to their favorite restaurant. Teach them the value of a loving family. If you want to leave a little piece of immortality on earth, be there for your grandchildren. Chances are, someday they will be there for theirs.
They Need Your Consistency
“Over the river and through the woods” is more than song lyrics. It’s representative of a home place. The family hub. It also represents years of tradition and some of the happiest memories in your grandchild’s childhood. My children and I were blessed with devoted grandparents who prioritized their grandkids. Although I moved away from my grandparents as a child, my children have always lived close to theirs. In fact, one of my two adult children spends some time over at the “hub” every day. They still benefit from the sweet greeting they receive and the security they feel in the many routines they’ve witnessed since toddlerhood. My in-laws have served in a capacity close to second parents. I credit their consistent example as part of the reason my children excelled during their teen years. After all, letting down your parents is sometimes easier than letting down your grandparents!
They Need Your Patience
It’s a bit of an inevitability: your grandchild may go sullen and silent as a teen. And that yard work buddy of previous years? Well, they may devote more time to their gaming devices and friends than their gardening projects. You probably won’t bear the full brunt of teenage hostility or angst, but you’ll get a taste of it. Because you’ve navigated the stormy seas of parenthood, you’ll realize that “this too shall pass.” Grandparents know the difference between a bad day and a bad direction and can cut their grands some slack. If a redirect is needed from a grandparent, their calm communication can be very effective.
They Need Your Impartiality
No matter how many grandkids you have, you’ll have different relationships with them all. However, your grandchildren need to see and feel they are just as special as the others. Teenagers are particularly sensitive to unjust scales. And sometimes, the scales feel just a little more tilted than they actually are in adolescence. Identity struggles frequently accompany adolescence. It is the time to fully grasp the unfairness of life. So many things can hurt teens, from academics to sports to friends to unrequited romance. As such, teens do need NOT add feelings of childhood inadequacy to the mix. A grand who feels like they’re second fiddle to a sibling or cousin may withdraw from you. Your devoted impartiality can be important to your grand’s emotional well-being.
They Need Your Wisdom
I love the movie On Golden Pond. A teenage Billy knows that his father has dumped him onto eighty-year-old Norman and Ethel Thayer while he travels abroad with their daughter for the summer. Teenaged Billy is angry and has no problem expressing that. Billy quickly meets his match in Norman and also learns that the Thayers share a love for fishing. It takes a while for Billy to feel that he’s more than a charity case. As the story unfolds, the couple finally earns the teen’s trust. In return, the Thayers get the grandson they never had in the winter of their lives. What a beautiful portrayal of grandparental love reaching a young and battered heart! Never underestimate the wisdom and guidance you can provide your grandchildren. And, if a Billy enters your life, step up to the challenge.
They Need Your Example
Last week, our church sponsored a community back-to-school outreach. Three generations of our family participated, including my in-laws. They were on their feet for three hours and didn’t miss a beat, helping everyone with a smile on their faces. From a young age, my grandkids have watched Nana and Pap open the door of their home and hearts. They’ve practiced hospitality and cooked and mowed for their elderly neighbor, whose only child lived across the country. My kids watched them take their great-grandmother to the mall and witnessed Pap try to reach his estranged siblings.
My in-laws have lived lives filled with the joy that comes from serving God, family, and others. It did not surprise me when their grandson started to go on mission trips and volunteer for local mission projects. It did not surprise me when their granddaughter wrote articles for Christian publications or began sponsoring a child in the Dominican Republic. Values are caught, especially when you have wonderful examples—and even more so when they happen to be your grandparents.
Takeaway
Your teenage grandchildren need you. Even if you can’t physically be there, don’t fret. Remember that even the small gestures have meaning. In the words of A.A. Milne, author of the beloved Winnie the Pooh series: “Sometimes, the smallest things take up the most room in your heart.”
Still looking for more great articles like this one? Be sure to check out these before you go:
- 5 Biggest Mistakes Grandparents Make
- 6 Things Grandmas Do That No One Else Can
- 8 Things To Send With Grandchildren When They Move Away
- 10 Lessons Grandparents Can Learn from Their Grandchildren
- The Best Books for Grandparents to Share with Grandchildren
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Originally published May 09, 2025
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