19 Signs It May Be Time To End a Friendship

Having friends is one of the greatest pleasures of life. There is nothing like having a group of people to share your life with and spend time with. Our friends are both near and far, and come in all different varieties. We have co-worker friends, church friends, childhood friends, online friends, best friends, and so on. 

It is good to have lots of friends at any age. Having friends in different age groups helps keep life interesting as well. Older friends give us good advice and wisdom. Friends our age can relate to what we are going through. Friends who are younger than us can be fun and help keep the spark alive in our lives.

However, as time moves on, sometimes we outgrow our friends or they outgrow us. We may become successful and our friends become jealous. Sometimes a friend can show their true colors in a situation and be very mean. All kinds of things can affect our friendships and sometimes it can be very painful. It can make us wonder, should we end the friendship? As painful as this can be, sometimes it’s best for us to do it for our mental and emotional well-being. Are you wondering if you should end a friendship in your life? Here are some signs that it’s time to move on.

1. Your Friend Has No Interest In Your Life

All your friend talks about is themself and their issues. They never ask how you are doing or what is going on in your life.

A healthy friendship allows space for both people to share their joys and burdens. However, if you have a friend who constantly makes the conversation about themselves and their problems, neglecting to ask about you or offer support, it can leave you feeling unheard and emotionally isolated.

2. Lying, Manipulating, and Trying To Control You

True friendship is a two-way street built on trust, respect, and mutual support. However, sometimes friends can stray from this healthy dynamic. One red flag to watch for is a friend who consistently lies to you, big or small. This behavior chips away at the foundation of trust, making it difficult to have an open and honest relationship. Another sign to be wary of is manipulation. A true friend will consider your needs and wants alongside their own, but a manipulative friend will try to control situations or conversations to get what they want, often leaving you feeling used or uncomfortable. Finally, a controlling friend goes beyond simple suggestions and tries to dictate your choices, your time, or even your beliefs. This controlling behavior can be stifling and emotionally draining. If you find yourself constantly walking on eggshells around a friend or questioning their honesty or motives, it might be a sign it’s time to re-evaluate the friendship.

3. They Don’t Show Up Or Support You When You Need It

A genuine friend will show up for you and support you when you need it. When you have a problem, they will show up and help you. They will also support you in your decisions, in pursuing your goals and passions, and in life. They won’t run or become passive at the first sign of a friend needing help.

4. Unreliability

If you have a friend who always says he or she will do something and then always backs out at the last minute, it’s time to end the friendship. Sure, life happens and sometimes it’s unavoidable, but when it’s chronic, you know there is a problem. Friendship relies on dependability. A friend who habitually flakes out on plans can be frustrating and disrespectful of your time.

5. They Neglect or Judge You

It’s easy for our lives to get busy and not stay in touch. However, if you have a friend who says they will call you or email you and they never do, they are neglecting your friendship on purpose. Also, if you have a friend who judges you harshly for whatever reason, it may be time to let go. There is a difference between speaking truth to someone in love and being brutal about a decision your friend makes. 

6. Spending Time with Them Wears You Out

If you have a friend with whom you feel drained mentally or emotionally after spending time with them, it’s time to reflect on why this is and how and if this role should play a part in your life going forward.

Friendships should be energizing and uplifting. They provide a safe space to connect, share laughter, and offer support. However, if you find yourself feeling mentally or emotionally drained after spending time with a particular friend, it’s a significant sign that the friendship might be imbalanced or unhealthy.

7. Gossiping

If you have a friend who gossips about other people, they will gossip about you too.

It’s time to take a close look at whether you want this kind of friend in your life and to be careful about what you say to them!

8. Jealousy

Jealousy can be an issue in a friendship at any age and there are all kinds of reasons for it. A friend may be jealous of your success, that you have a loving spouse or significant other, or of something that you have.

Sometimes this can be an issue that you can talk through and work out, and sometimes it’s time to move on.

9. Your Core Values Differ

Sometimes our lives move in different directions than our friend’s lives and we outgrow them or have nothing in common with them anymore. This is natural and when it happens, it’s time to reflect on what role this friendship plays in your life.

10. You are the Only One Maintaining the Friendship

It takes two people to keep a friendship alive. Sure, we all get busy when life pulls us in a thousand different directions. However, if you find you are the only one calling, emailing, or texting, it may be time to walk away.

11. You Don’t Know Why You Maintain the Friendship

Friendships require effort from both people involved. It’s natural to put energy into nurturing a close bond, but sometimes friendships can lose their spark. A key sign to watch for is when you find yourself questioning why you’re the only one putting in the effort. If you’re constantly initiating plans, checking in, or making all the sacrifices to keep the friendship going, it can leave you feeling lonely and undervalued.

12. Your Boundaries Aren’t Respected

If you express a boundary or preference with a friend, what happens? Do they respect it or do they disregard it? Some examples of boundary-pushing include becoming jealous when we spend our time with other people, pushing us to stay out later or to have one more drink, even after we say we don’t want to.

13. You Hide Things

If you are hiding things from your friend because you fear their judgment because you don’t feel safe, it’s time to let go. Before you do, express how you feel and see if you can work it out, but if not, walk away. Sometimes people don’t realize they sound judgmental, they honestly care for you and don’t realize they are expressing themselves negatively.

14. You Can’t be Authentic with Them

You should be able to be your authentic self around all of your friends and they should love you for it. If you don’t feel accepted or you feel poorly about yourself after interacting with someone or a group, try to figure out why this is and how or if you can fix the dynamic in this relationship.

15. Your Friends are Fair Weather

True friends are a constant source of support, celebrating your victories and offering a shoulder to cry on during tough times. Reflect on your friendships and consider how they show up for you. Do your friends reach out to congratulate you on achievements or milestones, big or small? More importantly, are they there for you during challenging periods? Do they check in on you when they know you’re struggling, offering a listening ear or a helping hand? While everyone needs to vent occasionally, a friend who only calls on you when they need something creates an unbalanced dynamic. A healthy friendship fosters reciprocity. Your friends should be a source of joy and support, not just someone you turn to when things are difficult. If you find yourself consistently offering emotional support without receiving the same in return, it’s a sign the friendship might be one-sided and not as fulfilling as it could be.

16. Your Friendship is Competitive

It’s hard to trust someone who is competitive in a friendship. When you have a friend who is always trying to one-up you or give you backhanded compliments, it will cause your guard to be up. You don’t need the emotional strain of this friendship. It’s time to walk away. 

17. Insults

Most people have at least one or two friends with whom they can banter friendly insults and no one gets hurt. It’s part of your friendship and you know that if the other person knew they hurt you, they would be upset. Still, sometimes you have a friend who will hurl insults that cause you emotional pain. If this is the case, talk to this friend and let them know they are hurting you. A good friend will realize the pain they have caused, apologize, and stop. If they don’t, it’s time to reevaluate your relationship.

18. Conflict

When you constantly fight with a friend and there is no way for you to work your problems out, it’s time to walk away.

19. Codependency

Friendships thrive on mutual support, but the way that support is offered matters. A red flag to watch for is a friend who goes above and beyond to help you, but then acts like a martyr. This manipulative behavior can leave you feeling confused and obligated.

Genuine acts of kindness come without strings attached. A true friend helps you because they care, not because they expect an outpouring of praise or gratitude. If your friend constantly reminds you of their help, making you feel indebted, it can create an unhealthy dynamic.

There are many ways that friendships evolve, some we lose, and then we gain others. If you are experiencing any of these things with a friend, take some time to search your heart and soul to see if the friendship is worth trying to salvage or let go.