The One Where I Was Challenged by a Parrot
![65 year old man with white beard, scared and raised hands in defense scared of parrot](https://www.seniorresource.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/scared-raised-hands-1024x682.jpg)
I do not claim to be a bird expert, and this story will confirm that.
Many years ago I took my yearly vacation to visit my brother and his wife in Florida. I was excited to see them and their beautiful Great Danes, Albert and Duchess. Upon arriving at their home, I noticed that a beautiful, colorful parrot had been added to their family.
Unfortunately for me, my brother and sister-in-law had to work the day of my arrival. We said our hellos and then our see-ya-laters.
I then sat down in the Lazy Boy to do a little relaxing since it was a long trip.
The next thing I knew, the parrot was flying around the room making a lot of funny noises. Now, I didn’t know parrots had such big wings. Startled (to put it mildly) I stood quickly.
The parrot came right back at me.
I ducked.
Then here it came again!
![](https://www.seniorresource.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/birb-flappity-flap-1024x654.jpg)
I took off running to the kitchen with the parrot hot on my tail.
The next thing I knew, it landed on my shoulder and began snapping at my ear. Not just nudging or nibbling. Snapping. This was very unpleasant, to say the least, since I really needed my ear. But, when I would raise my hand toward the bird trying to shoo it away, it would just snap at my finger.
I started to get a little fearful as it became increasingly clear that the bird had taken a liking to me and would be taking up permanent residence on my shoulder. It had no intentions of leaving.
Since Albert was a large and strong Great Dane, I decided to solicit this brave soul’s help. I slowly moved to the floor, laying on my stomach with that bird climbing down my back, slowly as well; almost as if it were mimicking my movements. I called Albert over thinking he would take care of this bird situation.
The bird shrieked then snapped and Albert took off running in the opposite direction.
Uh oh.
![](https://www.seniorresource.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/09/scared-lady-1024x587.jpg)
Some time passed and my nerves were quite on edge not knowing what to do as I lay on the kitchen floor, bird on my back, petrified to move since it appeared that Mr. Parrot had a taste for human ear.
I scanned the room for signs of a work phone number posted anywhere, like the fridge or a corkboard usually used for pinning grocery lists. I figured if there was a close-by phone number, I could slowly crawl to the telephone just a few feet away to call my brother. Unfortunately for me, I didn’t see a number.
My shoulder was aching, my heart was pounding and over an hour had gone by with the bird still attached to me.
At this point, I was willing to try anything.
I went back to my telephone plan, but this time, I carefully reached up to a drawer where I knew a telephone book was kept. I crept to the phone on the wall that couple of feet away and called an exotic bird shop to see if they could give me any suggestions.
I was somewhat hysterical when I made the call.
The person on the other end of the line was of no help at all. In fact, they were more concerned that I was going to hurt the bird!
No way. Heck, I couldn’t figure out how to even get my hands on it without coming up with a missing finger or something. How could I hurt it? Clearly, I was the victim here! But, also clearly, I was going to have to get brave and handle this myself.
I came up with another idea.
I slowly and purposefully stood up. I marched to the linen closet, bird on my shoulder, and grabbed a towel. I slowly folded it over my lower arms and hands. Slowly but surely I raised my arms, threw the towel over the bird, made a quick move, and off the bird flew – but oh, was he mad!
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He began diving at me again.
I took off back to the kitchen and grabbed a frying pan off the stove for protection. I held it like a shield over my head with my eyes closed, but it quickly dawned on me that this might now be the best idea. I didn’t want to hurt the bird and if I just stood there, frozen, it would likely just land on the pan once it calmed down (or my shoulder again) – and well, how would it have looked to my brother if he came home and saw his parrot in a frying pan?
Finally, out of nowhere really, I guess the parrot got tired of playing his silly game and simply flew to his cage on his own. Cautiously I slammed the cage door shut.
![](https://www.seniorresource.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/parrot-in-cage-1024x682.jpg)
When my brother got home that day, he really enjoyed the story. He thought it was hilarious!
I, however, made a stand and declared that either the parrot stays in the cage or I stay in a hotel.
Unfortunately, my sister-in-law came home from work late that day. The household was already asleep when she arrived and she was completely unaware of my day’s adventure or the ultimatum I had given my brother.
The next morning, I came out of my bedroom, once again greeted by a flying – no, divebombing parrot. Lucky for me, this time my sister-in-law grabbed the bird. Of course, it wasn’t lucky for her. He took a large bite out of her finger!
Putting him back in his cage with blood running down her finger, my sister-in-law had a few words for that parrot, “you are just like my ex-husband! Biting the hand of the person that feeds you! So guess what? I’m getting rid of you just like I did HIM!”
Now that is the end of my bird story. My sister-in-law’s finger healed, the parrot got a new home and my ear returned safely to the city of St. Louis.
I think it’s safe to say I won’t be getting a parrot of my own any time soon. I think I just prefer watching the robins lounging gently on their tree branches in my backyard. Yep.
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Originally published October 26, 2023