How to Be Alone But Not Lonely
As we get older, our lives change. Sometimes, spouses pass away or the kids move farther away than you would like. There may even be a chance that most of your friends have passed on as well. Maybe you’re living alone and have visitors often, but still get lonely. According to recent statistics, 34% of older adults aged 50 through 80 feel isolated from others. However, it doesn’t have to be this way! There are all kinds of opportunities to help ease the loneliness you are feeling. Here are some great ideas to help you ease the loneliness you’re feeling.
1. Maintain current connections.
It’s important to maintain the connections that you have with people in your life. Technology makes it easier than ever to stay in touch with those we love. Make sure you call or FaceTime with your kids and grandkids once a week. Go out with your friends for breakfast twice a month. Join your neighbor for a cup of coffee two times a week. Keeping the connections you have strong and interacting with others will help you not feel so lonely.
2. Engage in social online activities.
Connecting with family, making friends, and connecting with friends online has never been easier and is a great way to combat loneliness. You can play games with friends and family and instant message in real-time. Or you could join a Facebook group that caters to one of your interests to meet new friends. There are all kinds of groups online that focus on all kinds of things like specific book genres, gardening, how to start a business, movies, etc.
3. Volunteering.
Research some of your favorite charities or local groups and see how you can volunteer. This is a great way to give back to your community and make new friends. It will also help give you a purpose again and something to look forward to each week or month.
4. Get a pet.
Animals are a fantastic way to ease loneliness, but before you head down to your local shelter or animal rescue, do some research first. Think about what kind of pet is going to be best for your physical health. If you are active, getting a dog might be a good fit. If you’re not as active, a cat may be a better option. You will also want to keep in mind the size of the animal.
The next thing to consider is your budget. Will you be able to afford the necessities? What about vet bills, insurance, and emergencies? Will you be able to take the animal to the vet if they get sick? If not, are there any mobile vets in your area?
If adopting an animal is not possible, another option is to foster an animal. This means you will provide a loving home for a dog or cat until it is adopted. Most times, shelters and rescues will provide everything you need if you decide on this option. Whichever way is best for you, an animal will be a great addition to your life.
5. Establish a daily social routine.
Make sure you socialize with at least three people each day. Talk to the cashier at the grocery store. Wave and say hello to your neighbors in the morning. If you stop for a coffee, chat with your barista for a minute. Go to the park and people watch and start up a conversation. There are a million little things we do in a day where we can socialize with others. We just have to look for those moments and seize them.
6. Finding support for grief.
If you are lonely after losing a spouse, find a support group to attend or a therapist to counsel with. You can find both support groups and therapists online to talk within the comfort of your home.
7. Talk with your primary care provider.
Talk to your primary care provider about how you’re feeling and see what options they have to help. As stated above, there are both support groups and individual counseling, but your doctor may have other ideas to help you, as well.
8. Explore sources of joy.
Take some time to think about what brings you genuine joy or what used to bring you joy. Then go out and explore some of those things again. Want to write? Start writing a book. If you like to paint, go to a wine and painting party. If you like golf, go work on your game.
9. Make communication a priority.
Don’t neglect communication in your life. When you’re not connected to others, loneliness can kick in the hardest. Make sure you make communication a priority each day, no matter who you are talking to, friends, family, or strangers.
10. Organize and partake in group activities.
Organize a group activity like volunteering with friends or a game night at someone’s house. You can also partake in other group activities like trivia night, bingo, or a night out with friends for dinner and a movie.
11. Explore hobbies and interests.
Reignite your passion for your favorite hobbies and interests. Think about the things you used to love doing and dip your toes in again. If there’s something you’ve always wanted to do, take a chance and do it.
12. Identify opportunities to combat loneliness at any time.
Loneliness can rear its head any time, day or night, so identify ways to combat it at any time. Make a list of your night owl friends that you know you can call or text any time. Binge-watch a favorite show to distract yourself. Snuggle with your pet when you are feeling lonely. Connect with friends online in a group you’re in.
13. Overhaul your diet.
Eating right affects how you feel physically, mentally, and emotionally, so make sure you are eating a healthy diet. Do your best to cut out sugar, caffeine, and other bad things for you. Instead, replace the bad things with good stuff like fruit, vegetables, and herbal teas. Am I saying you can’t treat yourself sometimes? Not at all, but keep in mind that what you eat affects more than just your physical health.
14. Do word puzzles, crossword puzzles, or brain games.
Keeping your brain active is a great way to combat the fog of depression that comes with loneliness. You can do puzzles either online with friends or in person. The friendly competition will quickly lift your spirits.
15. Get a good night’s sleep.
Loneliness can make you have sleep issues, so figure out the best ways to help you get a good night’s sleep. It could be a relaxing routine before bed, like a bubble bath with soft music and then reading for an hour. It could be a sound machine to drown out the noises that keep you awake. A hot cup of tea with herbs to promote sleep and relaxation. When you figure out what works for you and you can get a good night’s sleep, you’ll be combating both loneliness and depression at once.
There are all kinds of ways to keep loneliness at bay, from volunteering to eating right to getting a good night’s rest. Choose two or three things from this list and help the loneliness you feel to fade away.
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Originally published February 14, 2025
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